alisonb
Well-known member
This is as old as the hills but still manages to stir up a good laugh............
There once lived a man who had a maddening passion for baked beans. He loved them but they always had an embarrasing and somewhat odorous re-action on him. Then one day he met a girl and fell in love.
When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself-she is such a sweet girl, she will never go for this carrying on. So he made the supreme sacrifice, gave up beans, and they were married.
Some months later, his car broke down on the way home from work and since they lived out in the country, he would have to walk home. He telephoned his wife and told her that he would be home late.
On his way home he passed a small eating place, and the aroma of freshly cooked baked beans was overwhelming. Since he still had several miles to walk, he figured that he could walk off any ill effects before he got home, so he stepped in. Before he came out he had eaten three large orders of baked beans. All the way home he put putted and felt reasonably safe when he reached his front door.
His wife seemed excited at his arrival, and said "Darling I have the most wonderful surprise for dinner tonight". She then blindfolded him and led him to chair at the head of the dining room table. He seated himself and, just as she was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She made him promise not to remove the blindfold, and went to answer the phone.
He seized his oppitunity and shifted his weight to one leg and let fire. It was not only foul but ripe. He reached for his napkin and vigorously fanned the air about him. He had just got back to normal when he felt another explosion coming, so he shifted his weight to the other leg, and let rip again. This one was a true prize and again he cleared the air as best he could.
Keeping his ear on the coversation in the hall, he went on like this for twelve minutes until he knew from the telephone farewells that his wife would soon return. He arranged his plate, silverware and napkin in front of him, folded his hands neatly on the edge of the table, sat smiling contentedly to himself and was the picture of innocence when his wife returned.
After apologising for taking so long she asked him if he had peeped and of course he assured her that he had not. She removed the blindfold and there was his surprise....................
TWELVE DINNER GUESTS SITTING AROUND THE DINING ROOM TABLE!!!!! :shock:
There once lived a man who had a maddening passion for baked beans. He loved them but they always had an embarrasing and somewhat odorous re-action on him. Then one day he met a girl and fell in love.
When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself-she is such a sweet girl, she will never go for this carrying on. So he made the supreme sacrifice, gave up beans, and they were married.
Some months later, his car broke down on the way home from work and since they lived out in the country, he would have to walk home. He telephoned his wife and told her that he would be home late.
On his way home he passed a small eating place, and the aroma of freshly cooked baked beans was overwhelming. Since he still had several miles to walk, he figured that he could walk off any ill effects before he got home, so he stepped in. Before he came out he had eaten three large orders of baked beans. All the way home he put putted and felt reasonably safe when he reached his front door.
His wife seemed excited at his arrival, and said "Darling I have the most wonderful surprise for dinner tonight". She then blindfolded him and led him to chair at the head of the dining room table. He seated himself and, just as she was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She made him promise not to remove the blindfold, and went to answer the phone.
He seized his oppitunity and shifted his weight to one leg and let fire. It was not only foul but ripe. He reached for his napkin and vigorously fanned the air about him. He had just got back to normal when he felt another explosion coming, so he shifted his weight to the other leg, and let rip again. This one was a true prize and again he cleared the air as best he could.
Keeping his ear on the coversation in the hall, he went on like this for twelve minutes until he knew from the telephone farewells that his wife would soon return. He arranged his plate, silverware and napkin in front of him, folded his hands neatly on the edge of the table, sat smiling contentedly to himself and was the picture of innocence when his wife returned.
After apologising for taking so long she asked him if he had peeped and of course he assured her that he had not. She removed the blindfold and there was his surprise....................
TWELVE DINNER GUESTS SITTING AROUND THE DINING ROOM TABLE!!!!! :shock:
