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5 MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE Lesson 1: A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she...

YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN by: George Carlin I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin. I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid level governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican! I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it...

There are only two important things in living ... finding out what you do well, and finding out what makes you happy. And if God is smiling on you, they're both the same thing. Jack

Three Things to Ponder: 1. Cows 2. The Constitution 3. The Ten Commandments Cows Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a single cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington? And, they...

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today, than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there will be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them. :shock:

A little old country lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum...

Shell to Offer Fuel Made From Wood Chips, Straw Friday, March 02, 2007 By Carl Mortished A new road fuel made from wood chips and straw will be launched in Europe later this year from a pilot plant developed by Shell and Choren Industries, the German biofuel company. The synthetic...

I am in the process of converting a ten acre pasture to a Tifton 85 hayfield. In my part of Texas we have been hit hard the past few years with droughts, so I have considered irrigating this pasture. So I started looking at water volumes to irrigate. One inch of rain on one acre of ground...

Talking Urinal Cakes In an effort to keep drunk drivers off the road, the State Department of Transportation in New Mexico has turned to talking urinals. It bought 500 deodorizer cakes to put in the urinals in bars across the state. When a man approaches, a motion detector sets off a...

A blonde police officer pulls over a blonde in a convertible sports car for speeding. She walks over to the car and asks the blonde driver for some I.D. The blonde convertible driver searches through her purse in vain. Finally she asks, "What does it look like?" The blonde police officer tells...

I need to replace the shocks on my 2001 F150. Looked at the rear shocks and the upper connection seems to be inaccessible. How do you remove and install these shocks??? Thanks in advance. Jack

Who Does the Work???........... The population of this country is 300 million. 160 million are retired. That leaves 140 million to do the work. There are 85 million in school. Which leaves 55 million to do the work. Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government. Leaving...

After having dug to a depth of 1000 meters last year, Scottish scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 1000 years ago. Not to be outdone by the Scots, in the weeks that followed...

The IRS decides to audit Jack, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor is not surprised when Jack shows up with his attorney. The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not...

This is our new bull. A two year old registered beefmaster. My daughter was in charge of taking the pictures. Wanted a rear view but didn't get one. What do you think ?? Jack

For Sale: French Army Rifle Clean; never fired. Dropped once. Cheap Fon. 0- 1 - 33 - 567-377 Check out the fon (telephone) number 5 -- l 6 -- o 7 -- s 3 -- e 7 -- r 7 -- s

Just off the wire this morning. For those who really want to quit. Maybe a lobotomy is in order. Jack WASHINGTON — Damage to a silver dollar-sized spot deep in the brain seems to wipe out the urge to smoke, a surprising discovery that may shed important new light on addiction. The...

Hilary Clinton was invited to address a major gathering of the American Indian Nation in upper New York State. She spoke for almost an hour on all her future plans making the Indians lives better; if she becomes the first female President. She pointed to her record as a Senator, about how she...