Wow!

[backhoeboogie]

I am starting a new business to certify that the Certifiers are properly certifying, using only the most advanced, ISO 10 million Six Sigma Jack Welch and Ronson-certified program.*

To certify the certifier. Ingenious!

I stopped by one of these "natural" stores that sells this type stuff and recently had its grand opening. I have to say I was impressed with the amount of money invested in the facilities. As for the foods, I don't see how someone can pay this much for food but whoever invested this much money in a building has to believe they can.

I'm pretty sure that dead possum on the side of the road is all natural too. I did not see any plastic whiskers on him or anything like that. What's he worth?

 

[greybeard]

I am starting a new business to certify that the Certifiers are properly certifying, using only the most advanced, ISO 10 million Six Sigma Jack Welch and Ronson-certified program.*

To certify the certifier. Ingenious!

I stopped by one of these "natural" stores that sells this type stuff and recently had its grand opening. I have to say I was impressed with the amount of money invested in the facilities. As for the foods, I don't see how someone can pay this much for food but whoever invested this much money in a building has to believe they can.

I'm pretty sure that dead possum on the side of the road is all natural too. I did not see any plastic whiskers on him or anything like that. What's he worth?

you evidently live in a very affluent part of the world if that dead possum stayed on the side of the road even long enough for you to wonder about it. Lots of folks go to fisticuffs right on the side of the road over such a natural delicacy 'round here.

 

[TexasBred]

Yeah, it sounds so PC and all. Just a hunch but I'm thinking there may be more money in certifying stuff than producing stuff.

What the heck are you talking about? You inferring these fine folks aren't part of the global economy?
They're producing...........certificates!!
(just make sure you also get, for each sustainable/carbon footprint certificate, a certificate of authenticity so folks will know you're legit and didn't have it printed up by one the the imitators that have offered to do it at a cut rate price--like JMJ.)

GB, since you are a Texan, I will authenticate your operation and send you a FRAMED certificate for only $7500. I will even sign it. But don't tell Joe bc I charged him $10k. :lol2:

You forget, I have the patent on the frames, but I have a nice inventory. Just let me know what size your certificate is and I'll fedX it to you COD. :mrgreen:

 

[Jogeephus]

TB, I would jump at the chance to buy one of your frames but are they made from certified sustainable wood? And was the logger certified? The mill?

Oh, and that goes for the possum too! Gotta be certified.

 

[Jogeephus]

I'm pretty sure that dead possum on the side of the road is all natural too. I did not see any plastic whiskers on him or anything like that. What's he worth?

If he's certified road kill then he is worth twice as much as he is worth.

 

[Dave]

If that road kill possum has value, what would a road kill raccoon be worth? I would hate to think about the value of a road kill deer. Of course we are talking sustainable raccoons and deer.

 

[Jogeephus]

I'm not sure but from what I've been reading the value has all to do with certifications.

 

[JMJ Farms]

TB, I would jump at the chance to buy one of your frames but are they made from certified sustainable wood? And was the logger certified? The mill?

Oh, and that goes for the possum too! Gotta be certified.

Joe you don't worry yourself none bout them frames. I certified the logger and then authenticated the trees, lumber, and mill. Then I certified TexasBred and his operation so everything is up to par and fully sustainable. I charged TexasBred $7389 for his paperwork and I will buy the frames from him. So just send me the $10k and you'll be completely set up and justifiably sustainable.

Oh and I forgot to add.... Don't feel that I'm taking advantage of you bc after all I did have to pay Boondocks a right smart in order to certify that I can certify. Have to pay to play Joe :lol2:

 

[backhoeboogie]

I'm pretty sure that dead possum on the side of the road is all natural too. I did not see any plastic whiskers on him or anything like that. What's he worth?

If he's certified road kill then he is worth twice as much as he is worth.

Can I just soak it in cheap beer and call it Kobe? How long does it have to marinate?

Its not a big deal. I simply hate to see it go to waste.

 

[boondocks]

Wish I could get some certified sustainable hunters here to certifiably kill my all-too-sustainable deer. Am researching nuisance permits. We had 6 deer taken in the fall--didn't put a dent in them. Herds of 20-25 in my field at a time. Eating my hay, crashing the fences (note: fences definitely NOT sustainable).

Does the ammo need certified to qualify?

 

[True Grit Farms]

Does the ammo need certified to qualify?[/quote]

Yes, in California you can't use lead. Probably be that way in NY before long. The liberal thinking starts left but it doesn't take long for it to become right. Even if it's wrong it's right in the wrong minds.

 

[TexasBred]

TB, I would jump at the chance to buy one of your frames but are they made from certified sustainable wood? And was the logger certified? The mill?

Oh, and that goes for the possum too! Gotta be certified.

Well pshaw......I'm screwed again. Forgot about the possum. Regulations are killing my long term business plan.

 

[TexasBred]

I'm pretty sure that dead possum on the side of the road is all natural too. I did not see any plastic whiskers on him or anything like that. What's he worth?

If he's certified road kill then he is worth twice as much as he is worth.

Can I just soak it in cheap beer and call it Kobe? How long does it have to marinate?

Its not a big deal. I simply hate to see it go to waste.

Oh but you have to hand massage it too Boogie. :shock:

 

[Jogeephus]

I don't think just anyone can hand massage it though. Must use a certified hand masseuse.

BTW - I read in a butcher magazine this morning that sales of "__fill in the blank_____ - free meat products" had increased in market share by 52%. So I plan on making a good lick when I introduce my cholesterol-free oatmeal next month.

 

[TexasBred]

I don't think just anyone can hand massage it though. Must use a certified hand masseuse.

BTW - I read in a butcher magazine this morning that sales of "__fill in the blank_____ - free meat products" had increased in market share by 52%. So I plan on making a good lick when I introduce my cholesterol-free oatmeal next month.

Gonna put a bath rag in it as an incentive?

 

[backhoeboogie]

I don't think just anyone can hand massage it though. Must use a certified hand masseuse.

BTW - I read in a butcher magazine this morning that sales of "__fill in the blank_____ - free meat products" had increased in market share by 52%. So I plan on making a good lick when I introduce my cholesterol-free oatmeal next month.

You need to get a plug in on those energy drinks while you're at it. My gosh kids are drinking those everywhere. Make your morning coffee out of sports drinks and you might be on to something.

 

[Jogeephus]

You need to get a plug in on those energy drinks while you're at it. My gosh kids are drinking those everywhere. Make your morning coffee out of sports drinks and you might be on to something.

Not to mention these drinks can now be bought with your EBT card. Of course, why someone needs an energy drink to sit around on their arse all day is beyond me but this is a totally different subject altogether and I don't want to highjack this thread and offend the original poster which is odd in that that would be ME but I think its understandable how I might offend myself.

TB, I was thinking along the lines of tossing in some of those Sham-wow towels. Who could resist! Have plenty of these after a night's drinking and ordering stuff I thought I had to have on QVC.

Someone was talking the other day about Australia's beef producers and how they were gaining a big market share and I found it interesting there is now the beginnings of a push in the meat industry to scrap the USDA's meat grading system and go to the Meat System of Australia. The MSA grading system grades each individual cut of meat rather than the whole carcass. Rather than focusing on marbling this system looks at 13 data points and 39 sub data points to arrive at the score. This system offers over 100 certified beef programs in addition to their Grass Fed Program, Grass Fed Program for Small Producers and Grass Fed Program for Very Small Producers along with their Organic Program Certification.

Advocates of this program say Australian beef sales to China have increased sixfold in three years. Of course for us to employ this system we would have to vote in COOL and mandate trace-ability from field to table but then we would have countless things to argue about besides being limited to CAB and Grassfed and Texbred, just think of all the frames you will be selling to hold all these certificates.

Of course there are many who will say this will never happen in the USA. Afterall, it will mean traceability of each animal, require the USDA to hire more gov't inspectors, create jobs for men who tend to wear man-buns who will not produce anything other than paper certifications, create more of a burden on the actual producer and more government intrusion so they might just have a point. But maybe I'm missing something. We'll just have to wait and see I guess.

 

[nathan arizona]

My daughter is getting a degree in Sustainable Agriculture. She wants to be a missionary. She has a great heart and figures she will help folks in a practical way. But.... I asked her to plant a my raised beds when she got home from college. She put about 12 tomato plants and some peppers and squash all in 1 4'x8' bed. Not real sure what I'm paying for, but it must be sustainable....

 

[Jogeephus]

Hehehehe. She'll come around. I know a girl who was working toward her doctorate in agriculture but her mind was full of these fantasy ideas of how easy nature is to deal with and she was lovingly growing some tomato plants when some insects invaded her loved ones and she was at whits end after trying all the organic "tonics" to no avail. She eventually gave in and used some pesticide to rid her plants of the pests and she saw the light. Last I heard she is a researcher for DOW.

Lots of these people mean well but they and their ignorance are so far removed from the earth they have no real understanding. I'm all for sustainability and good stewardship but its hard to be sustainable when the gov't wants to take half what you work for each generation so other than entities like Cargill I really don't know one can claim to be sustainable.

 

[john250]

Wish I could get some certified sustainable hunters here to certifiably kill my all-too-sustainable deer. Am researching nuisance permits. We had 6 deer taken in the fall--didn't put a dent in them. Herds of 20-25 in my field at a time. Eating my hay, crashing the fences (note: fences definitely NOT sustainable).

Does the ammo need certified to qualify?

Don't fence me in. Gotta free range. :lol2: