Calhoun Farm
Well-known member
I'll try to keep this as short and to the point as possible.
A little history first:
My grandparents bought our farm in '87, I was 4yrs old at the time. I spent almost every summer there working with my grandpa bailing hay, doctoring cattle etc. I lived about 30mins away so I was there much more that just summer time, but you get the idea. Throughout my childhood/teenage years my grandfather would tell me that one day the farm would be mine to raise my family on. Well, he died in '02. When that happened my dad took my grandmother and had the will redone so he got everything when she died. He got divorced and moved to the farm with her around '08, he did the bare minimum in terms of taking care of the farm/cattle. He didn't vaccinate or worm anything because he didn't care, he only did what little he did to suffice my grandmother because she liked cattle. She died 2yrs ago, about 2months after she died he went and got a big loan (over 100k) and put the farm up for collateral. The farm and all equipment had been paid for for years until he did this. He blew the money from that loan and within another year he sold 35head of cattle, basically our entire herd and used all the money to buy a Harley and have it customized. In 2013 my dad asked me, my wife and 11month old son to move in with him so we could save money. The house is a 2 story brick so he lived downstairs and we lived upstairs. Everything was fine for the most part until June of this year when he started having back problems and went out on disability from his job.
Let me back up a minute and add he has another home about 80miles away where he lives with his g/f that's MY AGE. Until his back problems he spent EVERY weekend up there with her and rode atv's/Harley's/drank beer with his buddies etc. Even when my grandmother was on her death bed he wouldn't stay with her on weekends, he left to go play and drink with his friends.
So fast forward to now and the dr's have told him there is no cure for his back problems and that he will have to manage as best he can with pain meds/patches. Come December '14 if he hasn't returned to work his pay will be cut by 25% until he turns 62 and can retire. He will be 59 end of this month. Every dime he has he has spent on his other house (double wide) building a garage and having concrete poured/finished, chain link fence put up etc. He doesn't save it to pay bills he blows it on having things built he may not even be able to use given his health. But if anyone tries explaining that he gets mad. He told me the other day he was going to sell the farm in 3yrs, then called my mom the next day (my parents have been divorced over 25yrs now) crying about his health and how much he cared for me and my son and was going to wait 5yrs until he sold the farm. He basically lives day to day up at his other place and might call me twice a month. His daily routine is eating pain pills and laying around while his young g/f serves him 3 meals a day in bed. If he feels like it he drinks with his buddies on weekends. His day job is sitting in a chair behind a desk, not hard work at all. His company ask him to return to work for 4hrs/day to see how it goes and he refused.
Here's my dilemma, if the time comes in the near future he can't make the farm payment anymore me and my family are out on the street. It's hard for me not to get pi$$ed off when I think about how he used this farm my grandparents worked for as an atm to bleed dry. Not to mention my dream of owning/running the farm is in jeopardy because he's a greedy a$$hole. At times I think the he77 with this, I worked my butt off all summer keeping 60acres maintained while working a 40hr/week day job and helping raise a 22month old little boy. If I just up and moved it would be up to him to keep this place up in his condition and living 80miles away would be near impossible.
When I get mad thinking about it that's what I want to do just to spite him. Then another part of me wants to hang in there as long as I can and hope he starts to drown in debt and then buy him out at what ever he still owes on the place. There's also a chance he puts the farm in real-estate and sells out from under me then I'm screwed either way. I was told our place appraised for over $400k in 2012. I think his grand plan is to sell it for about $350k pay off his loan and walk off with his pockets full of money. Which I'd say would take him less than 2yrs to blow every dime. He's the most greedy self centered person I've ever met. I don't know what to do honestly, I can't sleep at times, its causing me and my wife problems in our marriage because I get so consumed with trying to figure out what he's going to do and what I can do to counter it.
I just wonder if all the stress is worth keeping the farm or would I be better off to let him have it and walk away? What would you do?
A little history first:
My grandparents bought our farm in '87, I was 4yrs old at the time. I spent almost every summer there working with my grandpa bailing hay, doctoring cattle etc. I lived about 30mins away so I was there much more that just summer time, but you get the idea. Throughout my childhood/teenage years my grandfather would tell me that one day the farm would be mine to raise my family on. Well, he died in '02. When that happened my dad took my grandmother and had the will redone so he got everything when she died. He got divorced and moved to the farm with her around '08, he did the bare minimum in terms of taking care of the farm/cattle. He didn't vaccinate or worm anything because he didn't care, he only did what little he did to suffice my grandmother because she liked cattle. She died 2yrs ago, about 2months after she died he went and got a big loan (over 100k) and put the farm up for collateral. The farm and all equipment had been paid for for years until he did this. He blew the money from that loan and within another year he sold 35head of cattle, basically our entire herd and used all the money to buy a Harley and have it customized. In 2013 my dad asked me, my wife and 11month old son to move in with him so we could save money. The house is a 2 story brick so he lived downstairs and we lived upstairs. Everything was fine for the most part until June of this year when he started having back problems and went out on disability from his job.
Let me back up a minute and add he has another home about 80miles away where he lives with his g/f that's MY AGE. Until his back problems he spent EVERY weekend up there with her and rode atv's/Harley's/drank beer with his buddies etc. Even when my grandmother was on her death bed he wouldn't stay with her on weekends, he left to go play and drink with his friends.
So fast forward to now and the dr's have told him there is no cure for his back problems and that he will have to manage as best he can with pain meds/patches. Come December '14 if he hasn't returned to work his pay will be cut by 25% until he turns 62 and can retire. He will be 59 end of this month. Every dime he has he has spent on his other house (double wide) building a garage and having concrete poured/finished, chain link fence put up etc. He doesn't save it to pay bills he blows it on having things built he may not even be able to use given his health. But if anyone tries explaining that he gets mad. He told me the other day he was going to sell the farm in 3yrs, then called my mom the next day (my parents have been divorced over 25yrs now) crying about his health and how much he cared for me and my son and was going to wait 5yrs until he sold the farm. He basically lives day to day up at his other place and might call me twice a month. His daily routine is eating pain pills and laying around while his young g/f serves him 3 meals a day in bed. If he feels like it he drinks with his buddies on weekends. His day job is sitting in a chair behind a desk, not hard work at all. His company ask him to return to work for 4hrs/day to see how it goes and he refused.
Here's my dilemma, if the time comes in the near future he can't make the farm payment anymore me and my family are out on the street. It's hard for me not to get pi$$ed off when I think about how he used this farm my grandparents worked for as an atm to bleed dry. Not to mention my dream of owning/running the farm is in jeopardy because he's a greedy a$$hole. At times I think the he77 with this, I worked my butt off all summer keeping 60acres maintained while working a 40hr/week day job and helping raise a 22month old little boy. If I just up and moved it would be up to him to keep this place up in his condition and living 80miles away would be near impossible.
When I get mad thinking about it that's what I want to do just to spite him. Then another part of me wants to hang in there as long as I can and hope he starts to drown in debt and then buy him out at what ever he still owes on the place. There's also a chance he puts the farm in real-estate and sells out from under me then I'm screwed either way. I was told our place appraised for over $400k in 2012. I think his grand plan is to sell it for about $350k pay off his loan and walk off with his pockets full of money. Which I'd say would take him less than 2yrs to blow every dime. He's the most greedy self centered person I've ever met. I don't know what to do honestly, I can't sleep at times, its causing me and my wife problems in our marriage because I get so consumed with trying to figure out what he's going to do and what I can do to counter it.
I just wonder if all the stress is worth keeping the farm or would I be better off to let him have it and walk away? What would you do?
