What not to tell the police officer...

[milkmaid]

I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

Are You Andy or Barney?

I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

I pay your salary!

Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

 

[greenwillowherefords]

See what you think of this? My wife went to the Vet. last year to get a shot of lutalyse for a hereford heifer who got bred by a black brahman bull. She layed two needles in the seat of the car and went to pick our two sons up from school. She forgot the needles were in the seat of the car and our oldest son ended up setting on top of them. About half way home she remembered about the needles and screamed at our son to get up out of the seat. As he jumped up our other son in the back seat of the car also jumped up to see what was going on. Unknown to her there was an unmarked police car behind her. She pulled off beside the road to retrieve the syringes. As she held them in her hand, noting that the safety caps were still in place, she looked up to see a state trooper at her window. Imagine what a time she had explaining this scenario to the officer!