Two $$$$ Bill

[john s]

THE $2.00 BILL I TRIED TO SPEND:

IF YOU'RE AS OLD AS I AM, THIS IS A RIOT!

Everyone should start carrying $2 bills! I'm STILL laughing!!

I think we need to quit saving our $2 bills and bring them out in public.

The younger generation doesn't even know they exist!
STORY: On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick
bite to eat. I have a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure with the $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about irritating anyone for trying
to break a $50 bill.

Me: 'Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.'


Server: 'That'll be $1.04. Eat in?'

Me: 'No, it's to go.' At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill.
He looks at it kind of funny.

Server: 'Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back.'


He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

Server: 'Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?'
Manager: 'No. A what?'
Server: 'A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me...'

Manager: 'Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2 bill.'
Server: 'Yeah, thought so.'

He comes back to me and says, 'We don't take these. Do you have anything else?'

Me: 'Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?
Server: 'I don't know.'
Me: 'See here where it says legal tender?'
Server: 'Yeah.'
Me: 'So, why won't you take it?'

Server: 'Well, hang on a sec.'

He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, 'He says I have to take it.'

Manager: 'Doesn't he have anything else?'

Server: 'Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change.
Manager: 'I'm not opening the safe with him in here.'
Server: 'What should I do?'
Manager: 'Tell him to come back later when he has real money.'

Server: 'I can't tell him that! You tell him.'
Manager: 'Just tell him.'
Server: 'No way! This is weird. I'm going in back.

The manager approaches me and says,
'I'm sorry, but we don't take big bills this time of night.'

Me: 'It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill.'
Manager: 'We don't take those, either.'
Me: 'Why not?'
Manager: 'I think you know why.'
Me: 'No really, tell me why.'

Manager: 'Please leave before I call mall security.'
Me: 'Excuse me?'
Manager: 'Please leave before I call mall security.'
Me: 'What on earth for?'
Manager: 'Please, sir..'

Me: 'Uh, go ahead, call them.'
Manager: 'Would you please just leave?'
Me: 'No.'
Manager: 'Fine -- have it your way then.'
Me: 'Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?'

At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area,
and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect.

A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in.

Guard: 'Yeah, Mike, what's up?'
Manager (whispering): 'This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.'
Guard: 'No kidding! What?'
Manager: 'Get this. A two dollar bill.'

Guard (incredulous): 'Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?'
Manager: 'I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing he
has is a fifty.'
Guard: 'Oh, so the fifty's fake!'
Manager: 'No, the two dollar bill is.'

Guard: 'Why would he fake a two dollar bill?'
Manager : 'I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?'
Guard: 'Yeah.'

Security Guard walks over to me and......
Guard: 'Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use.'

Me: 'Uh, no.'
Guard: 'Lemme see 'em.'
Me: 'Why?'
Guard: 'Do you want me to get the cops in here?'

At this point I'm ready to say, 'Sure, please!' but I want to eat, so I say,
'I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill.

I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at him.
He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says,
'Hey, Mike, what's wrong with this bill?'

Manager: 'It's fake.'
Guard: 'It doesn't look fake to me.'
Manager: 'But it's a two dollar bill.'
Guard: 'Yeah? '
Manager: 'Well, there's no such thing, is there?'

The security guard and I both look at him like he's an idiot and it dawns
on the guy that he has no clue and is an idiot.

So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink
and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.

Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what
happens when I try to buy stuff.

Just think... those two are of the age to be voting!!!

NOW do you understand why and how Obama got a 2nd term?

 

[denvermartinfarms]

I could tell that same story, but it happend to me at a gas station, I whent inside paid with a check for my fuel, then thought I might want a bottle of water, I get one go back up and try to pay for it with a 2$ bill, the girl who was probably as old or maybe older than me has never seen one and has to find the manager, and figure out what to do, they ended up taking it, and it wasn't near as long and drawn out as your deal, but still one of the funniest thing I have ever come across.

 

[P & H cattle]

I got a book of 3 dollar bills. Would you like to try them?
See: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCFNtBtori8

 

[presmudjo]

Time to bring out the Sacagawea dollars.

 

[denvermartinfarms]

Time to bring out the Sacagawea dollars.

I have, and I have had some people look them over, but never give much trouble.

 

[Jogeephus]

Fantastic. I would have had to of held out for the police and then the newspaper. I had a woman refuse to break a $100 and then refuse to take fifty five pennies once and was plumb ugly to me. She was fired the next week. One of my good friends was her boss's boss's boss and it wasn't the first time she was a b!tch to customers.

 

[Isomade]

Fantastic. I would have had to of held out for the police and then the newspaper. I had a woman refuse to break a $100 and then refuse to take fifty five pennies once and was plumb ugly to me. She was fired the next week. One of my good friends was her boss's boss's boss and it wasn't the first time she was a b!tch to customers.

A snotty young girl got a job as a bank teller in our small town bank. I walked in and handed her a $300 check to cash. While she was filling out the slip I tried to make conversation which she was not interested in and made no attempt to respond. She just finished filling out the slip and promptly counted out $3,000 handed it to me and turned to walk away. She was even snottier when I called her back and asked her to examine the check again. She jerked the $3,000 off the counter threw down the $300 and walked away. I got a call from the bank president, who I have lunch with every week, before I got out of the parking lot apologizing. One of the regular tellers witnessed the ordeal and told him. I never saw her again.

 

[JSCATTLE]

I have a 2 dollar bill in my truck I'm gonna give that a try . I wouldn't mind a free burrito . I had a girl at a gas station mark my 100 dollar bill with a sharpie instead of the marker that goes on yellow and turns black if the bill is fake . I made her call the cops and after 20 min of me trying to explain it to him he remarked the bill and it was good . Some people's children .

 

[Jogeephus]

I have a 2 dollar bill in my truck I'm gonna give that a try . I wouldn't mind a free burrito . I had a girl at a gas station mark my 100 dollar bill with a sharpie instead of the marker that goes on yellow and turns black if the bill is fake . I made her call the cops and after 20 min of me trying to explain it to him he remarked the bill and it was good . Some people's children .

:lol2: :lol2: :lol2: At least with the police coming to the scene its on record that she is an imbicile.

 

[Alan]

I have a 2 dollar bill in my truck I'm gonna give that a try . I wouldn't mind a free burrito . I had a girl at a gas station mark my 100 dollar bill with a sharpie instead of the marker that goes on yellow and turns black if the bill is fake . I made her call the cops and after 20 min of me trying to explain it to him he remarked the bill and it was good . Some people's children .

:lol2: :lol2: :lol2: At least with the police coming to the scene its on record that she is an imbicile.

Or a theft, that's a scam that has been pulled here before.

 

[Commercialfarmer]

I have a 2 dollar bill in my truck I'm gonna give that a try . I wouldn't mind a free burrito . I had a girl at a gas station mark my 100 dollar bill with a sharpie instead of the marker that goes on yellow and turns black if the bill is fake . I made her call the cops and after 20 min of me trying to explain it to him he remarked the bill and it was good . Some people's children .

:lol2: :lol2: :lol2: At least with the police coming to the scene its on record that she is an imbicile.

Or a theft, that's a scam that has been pulled here before.

That is what I was thinking as well. She may be brighter than given credit for. $100 bucks a pop.

 

[greybeard]

Local scrap dealer advertises that they pay in small denomination bills.

http://www.cdscrapmetal.com/

 

[dun]

Back in the 50s the military used to be paid in cash. " Sailors Marines and Dogs stay off the grass" used to be a fairly common sentiment in san diego. A couple of pay days all the military was paid in nothing but 2 dollar bills. Amazing how fast the sentiment changed when the city gov realized how much the military spent in that town.

 

[greybeard]

In the 70s, those "..Keep off the grass" signs used to still be common in Norfolk Va and even in Havelock N.C.

 

[Fly-guy]

Fantastic. I would have had to of held out for the police and then the newspaper. I had a woman refuse to break a $100 and then refuse to take fifty five pennies once and was plumb ugly to me. She was fired the next week. One of my good friends was her boss's boss's boss and it wasn't the first time she was a b!tch to customers.

A snotty young girl got a job as a bank teller in our small town bank. I walked in and handed her a $300 check to cash. While she was filling out the slip I tried to make conversation which she was not interested in and made no attempt to respond. She just finished filling out the slip and promptly counted out $3,000 handed it to me and turned to walk away. She was even snottier when I called her back and asked her to examine the check again. She jerked the $3,000 off the counter threw down the $300 and walked away. I got a call from the bank president, who I have lunch with every week, before I got out of the parking lot apologizing. One of the regular tellers witnessed the ordeal and told him. I never saw her again.

Hey Iso, I can "one up you" on your check, I made a $1200 deposit one time that went through as a $12000 deposit. When I caught it the next day and called them, they said they would correct it for me. :lol2: :lol2: