Thoughts on getting old.....

UnlistMe
Gather App
Inventry
Rustler9

Rustler9

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 14, 2004
Messages
2,356
City & State/Province
Southern Middle Tennessee
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied. "Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?

I've sure gotten old.! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my
driver's license.

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. "Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

I'm getting into swing dancing. Not on purpose. Some part of my body are just prone to swinging.

It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.

These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."

Don't think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner child playing with matches.

Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up!

Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing.
THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
 
I see how you are met me once and now you'r telling everyone how old I am. :lol: :lol:
 
I thought that having your eyebrows trimmed at the barber shop was a right of passing into geezer-hood until I had the ear hair trimmed...that was liks an invite to the senior center.
At least I still have all my own hair and most of my teeth and some of my memory left...Dave Mc
 
Weber Hickory Wood Chunks Outdoor Cooking Fuel, 4 lb – Premium BBQ Smoking & Grilling Chips for Rich, Subtly Sweet Flavor – Ideal for Beef, Lamb, Poultry & Pork – Long Lasting
See price on Amazon
Weber Hickory Wood Chunks Outdoor Cooking Fuel, 4 lb – Premium BBQ Smoking & Grilling Chips for Rich, Subtly Sweet Flavor – Ideal for Beef, Lamb, Poultry & Pork – Long Lasting
Old Potters Smoker Wood Chunks 13-16 lbs for Grilling, Smoking, and Wood Fire Cooking ~ 2 x 3 Inches, (Hickory, 790 Cu in.)
See price on Amazon
Old Potters Smoker Wood Chunks 13-16 lbs for Grilling, Smoking, and Wood Fire Cooking ~ 2 x 3 Inches, (Hickory, 790 Cu in.)
Hickory Pizza Oven Wood 6 Inch, 15 lbs Box – Kiln Dried & Bark-Free Firewood for Pizza Ovens, BBQ Smoking & Grilling – Premium Hickory Wood Logs for Ooni, Gozney, Solo Stove, Bertello
See price on Amazon
Hickory Pizza Oven Wood 6 Inch, 15 lbs Box – Kiln Dried & Bark-Free Firewood for Pizza Ovens, BBQ Smoking & Grilling – Premium Hickory Wood Logs for Ooni, Gozney, Solo Stove, Bertello
Firewood Central Kiln-Dried PA Hickory – 8” Splits (Approx 39.5 lb) – Bold Smoking Wood for Pizza Ovens, BBQ & Fire Pits – Easy Light, Low Smoke, USA Sourced
See price on Amazon
Firewood Central Kiln-Dried PA Hickory – 8” Splits (Approx 39.5 lb) – Bold Smoking Wood for Pizza Ovens, BBQ & Fire Pits – Easy Light, Low Smoke, USA Sourced
Firewood Central Kiln-Dried PA Hickory – 6” Splits (Approx. 42 lb) – Bold Smoking Wood for Pizza Ovens, BBQ & Fire Pits – Easy Light, Low Smoke, USA Sourced
See price on Amazon
Firewood Central Kiln-Dried PA Hickory – 6” Splits (Approx. 42 lb) – Bold Smoking Wood for Pizza Ovens, BBQ & Fire Pits – Easy Light, Low Smoke, USA Sourced
Greenworks 24V 6in BL Pruning Saw w/Auto Oiler, Tool Only
See price on Amazon
Greenworks 24V 6in BL Pruning Saw w/Auto Oiler, Tool Only
Old Potters Kiln Dried Firewood - Cherry, 1100 Cu. in, 16-18 Logs ~ 8" x 2.5" Logs. Solo Stove and Cooking Wood for Grilling, Smoking, and Firepits, Cherry.
See price on Amazon
Old Potters Kiln Dried Firewood - Cherry, 1100 Cu. in, 16-18 Logs ~ 8" x 2.5" Logs. Solo Stove and Cooking Wood for Grilling, Smoking, and Firepits, Cherry.
Heritage Smoke Wood Hickory Pizza Oven Wood with Fire Starter - Kiln Dried Firewood 6" Hardwood Logs for Brick Fire Pizza Ovens & Grills, 6 lb, Low Smoke, High Heat, Competition-Grade Clean Burn
See price on Amazon
Heritage Smoke Wood Hickory Pizza Oven Wood with Fire Starter - Kiln Dried Firewood 6" Hardwood Logs for Brick Fire Pizza Ovens & Grills, 6 lb, Low Smoke, High Heat, Competition-Grade Clean Burn
39" Fire Pits with Wood Storage for Outside, Large Wood Burning Outdoor Fireplace with Chimney, Mesh Spark Screen & Fire Poker, Idea for Backyard, Patio, Party, Camping, Picnic
See price on Amazon
39" Fire Pits with Wood Storage for Outside, Large Wood Burning Outdoor Fireplace with Chimney, Mesh Spark Screen & Fire Poker, Idea for Backyard, Patio, Party, Camping, Picnic
Smoak Firewood Cooking Wood Mini Splits - USDA Certified Kiln Dried Pizza Oven Wood, Grilling Wood, Smoking Wood, BBQing Wood (8inch Pieces, 25-30lbs 1728 Cubic in - Hickory)
See price on Amazon
Smoak Firewood Cooking Wood Mini Splits - USDA Certified Kiln Dried Pizza Oven Wood, Grilling Wood, Smoking Wood, BBQing Wood (8inch Pieces, 25-30lbs 1728 Cubic in - Hickory)
As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Product prices and availability are accurate as of the date/time indicated and are subject to change.
Susie David":29yzzpti said:
I thought that having your eyebrows trimmed at the barber shop was a right of passing into geezer-hood until I had the ear hair trimmed...that was liks an invite to the senior center.
At least I still have all my own hair and most of my teeth and some of my memory left...Dave Mc
Click to expand...

I've still got all my hair too. Unfortunately its all in my brush.

Chris
 
lol good ones.

Also have you ever noticed, the first thing old people look at in the newspaper is the obituaries?
 
Ok MoGal, now you got me worried. Thats the first thing my wife looks at in the paper. You think she might be looking for mine?
 
lol... well, lets hope not.

The last few years my folks have met a few challenges of their senior years:
Dad told me the majority of his friends had MD or DO at the end of their name, he said when you get over 65 you're either looking for a place to pea or trying to remember someone's name and of course they keep themselves busy every day looking for something that they misplaced or "put up so they would remember where it was", but of course don't remember where that was until after its found.
 
I've noticed when ya get older ya also get wiser. when i bend down to pick something up i look around and see if there's anything else to pick up while i'm down there.

Cal
 

Latest posts

Back
Top