Judge Sharpe
Well-known member
If you see your mule in the corn crib and he's not supposed to be there, sneaking up behind him and screaming is neither the safest or most effective means of removing him from said corn crib.
Don't ask me how i know these are true things that happened, LOL
Cows may be domesticated, but very few have really had adequate training under saddle. Even fewer have ever expressed a desire to jump fences, and their enthusiasm tends to be further dampened by the presence of a passenger.
icy hot and sex don't mix.....
Never get a 5 year old a pocket knife for Christmas.........
Never drink a lot of beer with the next door neighbor, then decide that getting the bonfire started would be easier if you used a little gunpowder...
Snorting Jack Daniels PROBABLY isn't a wise idea.
It's a bad idea to try to scale a 6 foot fence when you are 7 months pregnant......
While running from the police......
With crack in your pocket........
Never ever reach down a hole it the ground to see what it in it. You might just find out.
(28 year old male second time bit by a rattler. )
"Hey y'all watch this" is ALWAYS followed by stitches in the ER.
Never jump off a bridge while a boat is coming under it.
Don't name your daughters with boy names just so you can remember who their sperm donor was...
Do not let you teenage girlfriend with braces perform orally while you're driving over railroad tracks, it will hurt.
It's great to help friends move but please use rope to hold the mattress on the roof of the car, not your spread eagle body, and especially not while driving 70 mph on the highway
I know its hard to resist helping your buddy but please dont ever hold anything for your buddy when he intends to hit it with a sledge hammer
Never drink from a whiskey bottle just because it says whiskey on the outside. It could be turpentine
That thing they said about police dogs and their sharp teeth...it's true!
The deer you just hit may not be dead, just knocked out, not a good idea to put it in your car.....
A small rose tattoo on the breast will eventually be a long- stemmer.
Do not hang out, reading the Bible on the porch of the local house that you really honestly didn't know was a Crack house, at 3:00 AM, absolutely minding your own business....because "Some Dude" will come along and and shoot you for no apparent reason!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And finnally-
When deer hunting - while up in the deer stand - after drinking a bottle of Whiskey - with your best friend, Bob - with guns loaded - do not tell Bob about sleeping with his wife - and how good she was in bed. That gunshot wound in the shoulder really damaged a great tattoo.\
Have a great weekend
JS
Don't ask me how i know these are true things that happened, LOL
Cows may be domesticated, but very few have really had adequate training under saddle. Even fewer have ever expressed a desire to jump fences, and their enthusiasm tends to be further dampened by the presence of a passenger.
icy hot and sex don't mix.....
Never get a 5 year old a pocket knife for Christmas.........
Never drink a lot of beer with the next door neighbor, then decide that getting the bonfire started would be easier if you used a little gunpowder...
Snorting Jack Daniels PROBABLY isn't a wise idea.
It's a bad idea to try to scale a 6 foot fence when you are 7 months pregnant......
While running from the police......
With crack in your pocket........
Never ever reach down a hole it the ground to see what it in it. You might just find out.
(28 year old male second time bit by a rattler. )
"Hey y'all watch this" is ALWAYS followed by stitches in the ER.
Never jump off a bridge while a boat is coming under it.
Don't name your daughters with boy names just so you can remember who their sperm donor was...
Do not let you teenage girlfriend with braces perform orally while you're driving over railroad tracks, it will hurt.
It's great to help friends move but please use rope to hold the mattress on the roof of the car, not your spread eagle body, and especially not while driving 70 mph on the highway
I know its hard to resist helping your buddy but please dont ever hold anything for your buddy when he intends to hit it with a sledge hammer
Never drink from a whiskey bottle just because it says whiskey on the outside. It could be turpentine
That thing they said about police dogs and their sharp teeth...it's true!
The deer you just hit may not be dead, just knocked out, not a good idea to put it in your car.....
A small rose tattoo on the breast will eventually be a long- stemmer.
Do not hang out, reading the Bible on the porch of the local house that you really honestly didn't know was a Crack house, at 3:00 AM, absolutely minding your own business....because "Some Dude" will come along and and shoot you for no apparent reason!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And finnally-
When deer hunting - while up in the deer stand - after drinking a bottle of Whiskey - with your best friend, Bob - with guns loaded - do not tell Bob about sleeping with his wife - and how good she was in bed. That gunshot wound in the shoulder really damaged a great tattoo.\
Have a great weekend
JS
