Crowderfarms
Well-known member
Tennessee Border Pass
Applies to each person as they enter the State. Learn &remember: North East
Coast and California-types pay particular attention!
1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a
pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're
going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
3. They are cattle and horse farms. That's what they smell
like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it?
I-40 goes east and west, I-65 goes north and south. Pick one.
4. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly.
Try to understand the concept.
5. If that cell phone rings while a deer is coming in, we WILL shoot it
out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at
the time.
6. Yeah, we eat catfish. You really want sushi &caviar? It's available
at the corner bait shop.
7. The "Opener" refers to the first day of hunting season. It's a
religious holiday.
8. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of
age.
9. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you
can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham &turkey.
10. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats,
vegetables and breads. We use two spices: salt, pepper.
11. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served
over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know
how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
12. The Titans, and the Vols are
important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to
watch.
13. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it
spooks the fish.
14. Colleges? Try Nashville, Knoxville,Memphis, or a bunch
of others. They come outa there with an education plus a love for God
and Country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come home
for the holidays.
Applies to each person as they enter the State. Learn &remember: North East
Coast and California-types pay particular attention!
1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a
pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're
going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
3. They are cattle and horse farms. That's what they smell
like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it?
I-40 goes east and west, I-65 goes north and south. Pick one.
4. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly.
Try to understand the concept.
5. If that cell phone rings while a deer is coming in, we WILL shoot it
out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at
the time.
6. Yeah, we eat catfish. You really want sushi &caviar? It's available
at the corner bait shop.
7. The "Opener" refers to the first day of hunting season. It's a
religious holiday.
8. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of
age.
9. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you
can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham &turkey.
10. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats,
vegetables and breads. We use two spices: salt, pepper.
11. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served
over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know
how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
12. The Titans, and the Vols are
important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to
watch.
13. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it
spooks the fish.
14. Colleges? Try Nashville, Knoxville,Memphis, or a bunch
of others. They come outa there with an education plus a love for God
and Country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come home
for the holidays.
