Small Claims Court?

[3waycross]

APOLOGIZE! I thought you were kidding! ILH's got nothing to apologize for. She did what she promised she would do. Deadbeat didn't. Deadbeat lied and stole her meat. If anyone owes anyone anything it would be dead beat owing an apology and some cash to ILH's for stiffing her after the months of work she spent on producing the meat. I can hear some social worker talking now, "its ok deadbeat. you don't owe ILH's any money. She's got plenty of cows. She owes you. The gov't owes you. Everyone owes you." Jimminy. What's the world coming to?

In this case, non-payment of meat for only $4-500, is not a relatively big issue but the spiritual principle is the same. There are not too many ways to remove resentment. If allowed to accumulate on your conscience, unpredictable volatile manifestations are likely to occur in your future. One way to remove resentment, is by apologizing, as one who resents another human being is most definitely not without error. I realize this is the opposite of what you may believe, but this is the way is really is, in the world and in the spiritual world.

THAT has got to be the single biggest load of horseshyt I have ever read on this forum. The only way I would ever apologizt to someone who ripped me off like that was if I got to tell them how sorry I was that I didn't get to break both their legs.
I guess that's what you would call an UNPREDICTIBLE VOLATILE MANIFESTATION.
Thanks for the best laugh I have had in years. :lol: :lol: :lol: :cowboy:

 

[HerefordSire]

So you do resent people the owe you money or do not honor their word?

Yes, most of the time I have resented people for simple and major issues that developed over the years. In my experience, the ones I have to watch out for are the bigger issues. It takes a big person to confront an issue (gives me anxiety sometimes). Many times I have been positively surprised at the outcome. If the person were to pass away unexpectedly, for example, it would not be possible to confront the person. In other words, another avenue to relieve oneself should be discovered and executed.

Good for you, so you are helping others expecting monetary gain? Most places it is illegal to accept "gifts"

Negative. The example I gave about receiving money in my mailbox from an anonymous person was to show an example how to truly help someone in need without anyone knowing instead of broadcasting how good a person we are.

You do not need a lawyer for small claims .

True. My point about attorney fees was in reference to her comment about contacting her attorney in regards to the letter the attorney is going to send the person in question. Sounds to me like this is also taking food out of her children's mouth and spending good money after bad money. There are times to just take a loss and conserve our energy and not prove any principles of how bad another human being is and how we are much better.

They earn a living from their farm which in turn puts food on the table and clothes on the children's back. :roll:

A loss is a loss no matter what we do for a living.

Sorry but no I can't forgive or apologize to someone who intentionally steals from another. If that was the case I would have apologized and begged for forgiveness from the SOB that imbezzled 1/4 of a mill from us..Not Ever Going To Happen...I guess that is something that I will have to ask for forgiveness of.

The principals are the same, regardless of the resentment magnitude. I shared something with the board that works. Not everyone will have the wisdom to interpret the concept no matter how many times one reads the content. I would think having an open mind is important as a starting point.

 

[HerefordSire]

Went back and reread HerefordSire's post recommending apologizing. I understand the concept and it is a good one. Read it again.

I forgot to metion the most important concept:

You likely resent this person. I have learned to remove resentment from my conscience as resentment is sometimes worse than the cause of the resentment, and in your case, financial non-payment of the meat. If not removed, the resentment can manifest itself in unpredictablu volatile negative ways especially if allowed to accumulate over a period of 20 years. Therefore, it is important you remove the resentment. By apologizing to the individual, you are removing the resetment, even though you did not wrong. Of course, he will have no idea what you are referring to which is fine. You should clean your side of the street and don't worry about his side.

Resentment eats away at you from inside and does nothing to change the one you hold in contempt. It is ridding oneself of this resentment that HS feels the need to apologize. It is his way to help him and bring closure to the incident. Others may be able to forgive the actions of a person without a face to face apology.

I'll conceed their may be a reason this person is holding out on you and not telling the truth and you are not yet enlightend to the reason. Learn from it. The action one takes in a situation like this says a lot about oneself. But I don't think a civil attempt to collect a debt is wrong.

A gentleman I know has a saying about holding a grudge. He says by holding a grudge, you are letting that person live rent free in your head and sometimes that person doesn't even know they have a room their.

Hillsdown, I wish I would have gotten my post up before your last post. It sounds like it is directed to you, but it wasn't, although it sounds like someone is occuping a huge apartment in your mind. I hope with time you can resolve it. It is just that the word apologize in HerfordSires post; I think it skewed the way a lot of people interpreted his post. I truthfully have to count myself as one of them. Rereading it carefully brings it into a new light.

In retrospect, my words were very dangerous, as you may have read some of the negative and insulting replies I received. As already mentioned, many of us will never understand the concepts presented. We can usually tell what "happiness stage" of life our fellow acquaintances are in by reading some of the replies. This doesn't make them a bad person though. They may have not suffered enough pain like some of us have, yet. Most may never suffer enough pain to keep an open mind and change. I can guarantee you one thing first hand though....there are things is this world that will break us from thinking and acting certain ways.

 

[I luv herfrds]

We have what is called Pre-Paid Legal. We joined quite a few years ago as members. We pay a membership fee each year, then we have access to a lawyer pretty much anytime we need one. It's come in handy quite a few times. :nod:

Got a return call from the lawyer this morning. He advised that I go ahead and write the first letter and send it certified mail. He also said to give this guy 10 days to pay. If he still doesn't pay, then the lawyer will write a letter and if he still doesn't pay, the lawyer said he would walk me get through the paperwork for the small claims court. The lawyer said we can include court costs in our suit, if we go that far.

This guy is not taking up all my thoughts, all the canning I'm doing is taking care of that. :lol2:
I also have too many other things to do then think about him all day.

 

[Conagher]

Went back and reread HerefordSire's post recommending apologizing. I understand the concept and it is a good one. Read it again.

I forgot to metion the most important concept:

You likely resent this person. I have learned to remove resentment from my conscience as resentment is sometimes worse than the cause of the resentment, and in your case, financial non-payment of the meat. If not removed, the resentment can manifest itself in unpredictablu volatile negative ways especially if allowed to accumulate over a period of 20 years. Therefore, it is important you remove the resentment. By apologizing to the individual, you are removing the resetment, even though you did not wrong. Of course, he will have no idea what you are referring to which is fine. You should clean your side of the street and don't worry about his side.

Resentment eats away at you from inside and does nothing to change the one you hold in contempt. It is ridding oneself of this resentment that HS feels the need to apologize. It is his way to help him and bring closure to the incident. Others may be able to forgive the actions of a person without a face to face apology.

I'll conceed their may be a reason this person is holding out on you and not telling the truth and you are not yet enlightend to the reason. Learn from it. The action one takes in a situation like this says a lot about oneself. But I don't think a civil attempt to collect a debt is wrong.

A gentleman I know has a saying about holding a grudge. He says by holding a grudge, you are letting that person live rent free in your head and sometimes that person doesn't even know they have a room their.

Hillsdown, I wish I would have gotten my post up before your last post. It sounds like it is directed to you, but it wasn't, although it sounds like someone is occuping a huge apartment in your mind. I hope with time you can resolve it. It is just that the word apologize in HerfordSires post; I think it skewed the way a lot of people interpreted his post. I truthfully have to count myself as one of them. Rereading it carefully brings it into a new light.

In retrospect, my words were very dangerous, as you may have read some of the negative and insulting replies I received. As already mentioned, many of us will never understand the concepts presented. We can usually tell what "happiness stage" of life our fellow acquaintances are in by reading some of the replies. This doesn't make them a bad person though. They may have not suffered enough pain like some of us have, yet. Most may never suffer enough pain to keep an open mind and change. I can guarantee you one thing first hand though....there are things is this world that will break us from thinking and acting certain ways.

HS,

I have not been following this post, but have just read through it in its entirety. I am humbled by your responses. I too am wishing for this level of maturity and understanding in the next stage of my life. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

Thanks & May God Bless (I think he already has). :nod:

 

[Wewild]

john250 the couple of times I was able to talk to him on the phone he promised to pay that week. Told him if he had to we would accept payments. That was the last time I talked to him at all.

HD is right why should I let him get away with some good beef that we bred and raised. He sure as heck was not out there feeding this steer nor fixing fence.
I bet if I didn't pay my horse trainer he would keep my horse.
It is a good lesson for us though. No pay, no beef. We have several people who we have dealt with in the past who have bought from us and have not had problems.

I've carried debt on folks before. For the most part I can't recall when they didn't pay it. Sometimes it can be over a year or more time. I lose but gain in other ways.

The rule is one time. I can stand that.

I've got only one guy that has failed to come clean. I think it would be $900. He won't hardly speak. That's on him.

 

[Wewild]

I have not been following this post, but have just read through it in its entirety. I am humbled by your responses. I too am wishing for this level of maturity and understanding in the next stage of my life. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

Thanks & May God Bless (I think he already has). :nod: [/b]

Nice post. I missed that before my last post on here.

 

[hillsdown]

I have not been following this post, but have just read through it in its entirety. I am humbled by your responses. I too am wishing for this level of maturity and understanding in the next stage of my life. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

Thanks & May God Bless (I think he already has). :nod: [/b]

Nice post. I missed that before my last post on here.

I agree ,I think one has had to suffer great tragedy at their own hands or someone else to just completely forgive all and if that is the case I too say God Bless. HS whatever you have been through I am truly sorry and I do wish you all the best with blessings.

But ,I do not think it is wrong to hold people accountable for what they have agreed too.
It is not wrong to ask someone to pay for a product that they have received . We all need to be accountable for our own actions.

 

[novatech]

But ,I do not think it is wrong to hold people accountable for what they have agreed too.
It is not wrong to ask someone to pay for a product that they have received . We all need to be accountable for our own actions.

If you do not hold people accountable for their debt then the people that get hurt may be your family and creditors you owe money to.

 

[I luv herfrds]

Phone rang this evening. You know who was calling, he got my letter today. Conversation went like this.
Him, "I sent you a check the next day after I last spoke to you." 3+ months ago.
Me, "Did it clear, because we never got it. I called and left 3 different messages for you after that time"
Him, "Bank statement shows that it didn't clear, but I will call the bank tomorrow and find out what is going on, then I will mail you another one and send it to you just like you sent me this letter."
Me, "That would be fine."
Bye.

Now the waiting game begins. Now he has to do a stop payment on his "check".
Who believes he sent a check? If he had we would have gotten it.
I have gotten so much mail just addressed with my name and town, I know it would have gotten to us.

 

[HerefordSire]

Phone rang this evening. You know who was calling, he got my letter today. Conversation went like this.
Him, "I sent you a check the next day after I last spoke to you." 3+ months ago.
Me, "Did it clear, because we never got it. I called and left 3 different messages for you after that time"
Him, "Bank statement shows that it didn't clear, but I will call the bank tomorrow and find out what is going on, then I will mail you another one and send it to you just like you sent me this letter."
Me, "That would be fine."
Bye.

Now the waiting game begins. Now he has to do a stop payment on his "check".
Who believes he sent a check? If he had we would have gotten it.
I have gotten so much mail just addressed with my name and town, I know it would have gotten to us.

Mail has been known to be lost for decades. It happens all the time. It is good you are mainly asking (us) though.

 

[dun]

Kind of like "the dog ate my homework" excuse

 

[newrancher]

Oh yeah, right, the checks in the mail= chewed grass. Document dates and times of all phone calls,letters, any contact you have with this person. Ill bet that if HS sold a potload of cattle to someone , and they didnt pay, he would have trouble following his own advice as then it would be a SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT of money. The principle is the same.

 

[HerefordSire]

Oh yeah, right, the checks in the mail= chewed grass. Document dates and times of all phone calls,letters, any contact you have with this person. Ill bet that if HS sold a potload of cattle to someone , and they didnt pay, he would have trouble following his own advice as then it would be a SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT of money. The principle is the same.


That would be nice selling a couple of double-decker truck loads. I will gurantee you the funds will clear before I let the cattle get on the truck. In the spirit of playing, if by chance I had many Bud Limes, and a gentlemen smooged me by acting like my best friend with personality euphoria, and payment was somehow not made for the cattle, then yes, I would have trouble following my own principle since anxiety would creep in. However, if I ever had enough courage to face him man to man in an apologetic attitude, it would instantly remove any hard feelings I had for the gentlemen. Pretty neat trick once you learn how to master it. The alternative? What do you do? Send him to prison knowing you did the right thing in your heart? Then what? Act like it doesn't bother you? Then another and another event occurs. Then what? All of the sudden you are 60 years old and Christmas comes around...and you say Ba! Humbug!????

 

[dun]

All of the sudden you are 60 years old and Christmas comes around...and you say Ba! Humbug!????[/i]

I said that long before I was 60

 

[I luv herfrds]

Like I said it is a waiting game. He has 10 days to pay and if he doesn't then the next letter is from the lawyer, then court.

HS that money was to buy school clothes for my kids. Amazing how fast they out grow everything especially shoes.
Like I said I have too much to do to sit around and stew about this guy. Today is plum jelly and cleaning my daughters room.

 

[3waycross]

Like I said it is a waiting game. He has 10 days to pay and if he doesn't then the next letter is from the lawyer, then court.

HS that money was to buy school clothes for my kids. Amazing how fast they out grow everything especially shoes.
Like I said I have too much to do to sit around and stew about this guy. Today is plum jelly and cleaning my daughters room.

That sure puts it in a different perspective doesn't it. When you pencil out what the money was supposed to buy. Awful hard to look at your kids and tell them you ain't gonna get school clothes this year cuz I'm practicing to be Ghandi and not getting paid on the cattle.

 

[HerefordSire]

Much more difficult to eyeball children when I am Scrooge. Bah! Humbug! You don't deserve Christmas! I can't believe I had you children.

 

[1982vett]

All of the sudden you are 60 years old and Christmas comes around...and you say Ba! Humbug!????[/i]

I said that long before I was 60

Early achiever myself.

 

[3waycross]

Much more difficult to eyeball children when I am Scrooge. Bah! Humbug! You don't deserve Christmas! I can't believe I had you children.

What the heck are you talking about