Jogeephus
Well-known member
Seems I'm having an identity crisis and can't exactly figure out who I am or where I fit in.
I recently read a book that grouped humans into 10 distinct categories however I seem to be having an identity crisis and can't seem to figure out where I fit in. (I know this book must be good cause it had a hard cover and many colored pictures in it. ;-) )
Rug Rats. Principle event in this stage is learning to walk. The next learning experience is to learn what the word NO means. This is vital knowledge which will be extremely important as one commingles with girls from this stage on until one becomes codgerfied. Though have in recent years had to crawl on the carpet to the bathroom and do sometimes have the strong desire to become unweaned, I've learned what NO means and am pretty sure I don't belong in this category.
Child – The child is a very important element to the nation's economy since they represent the entire human market for chocolate covered rice and other sugar saturated sweets passed off by the cereal industry as nutrition.
Though I have been accused of acting childish at times. Especially when Her Majesty denies a Kitchen Pass so I can't go play cards with my friends in Las Vegas without her. Though I am still partial to Coco Puffs, I don't think I fit in this category completely – though it is sometimes debateable.
Adolescent – at this stage a person does about what he pleases and vowes never to grow up and be like his parents. Energy level is in maximum overdrive (probably due to vast sugar buildup in body from the nutritious breakfasts) but often is restrained by adults who tell him, "these are the best years of your life". With such a malleable mind, the adolescent believes this and is marred for life.
Nope, that ain't me. If it wasn't for the caffeine, I don't think I'd have any energy.
Young Adult – at this stage, your brain is at its maximum information storage capacity and the young adult knows it all and input of any additional information or instruction is utterly useless. The young adult also remembers his vow made in adolescence but during the first few years of this stage duplicates his parents exactly hence breaking the first of many promises to himself.
Well this might just be me.
Still a Young Adults typically walk around with a dazed somber look on their face. Often can be heard telling adolescents, "these are the best years of your life".
Well, now I am confused. This might explain why I sometimes feel like I got the word IDIOT tattooed on my forehead – maybe it's the dazed look.
Not Getting any Younger Adults typically feel they have missed something in their life and will sometimes buy a new wardrobe along with a flashy new sports car.
Ouch, that was my toe! Been kinda thinking about buying a Ford Quad Cab with the leather seats and all the trimmings and going on The Sipping and Cruising World Tour of Cattle Farms and Other Out of the Way Juke Joints and Oddities Tour. Just hadn't figured out how I'm going to get the truck to Sweden cause I promised a fella I was going to add that to my tour. Figured I'd drop by and help stack some lumber. So, this must not be me yet either.
Duffer A duffer is a Not Getting any Younger Adult who finally figures out they aren't getting any younger. They typically just plod along on a routine and are sometimes accused of being clumsy, forgetful and incompetent.
Well this might just be me too. Is the world tour off? Or have I already been? Gee this is confusing.
Codger aka coffin dodger, is usually an old person who moans about their arthritis or other ailments. They have little hair on their head, but compensate by tufts sprouting from their ears and noses (male) chins and top lips (female). They despise anything that anyone under 30 may do.
Cant manage to drive more than 30mph, and only drive on Sundays. In general, they usually sit around at the coffee shop complaining - to those who will listen – about their many ailments and otherwise just enjoying their poor health.
Not there yet. Hair just moved off my forehead and down my neck and back. I must still be a young pup.
Geezer Elderly, cranky old son of a bi$%& who drives too dang slow and complains about how things were in his day and how much easier it is for the youngsters these days.
Can cold Tennessee whiskey cause temporary mutations in people? Nah, couldn't be.
Coot, though called that at times I don't exactly fit the bill since coots are free from the shackles of social convention. They can drink whiskey whenever they wish and everyone will simply smile. Coots are also allowed improper advances toward younger women which would normally warrant a tail stomping by their husbands or boyfriends.
Not there, but looking forward to it.
Nevertheless, I am still somewhat confused as to where I fit in and who I am. How bout yourself? Who are you?
Maybe we will never know the answer completely and maybe Bennett said it best,
An identity is questioned only when it is menaced, as when the mighty begin to fall, or when the wretched begin to rise, or when the stranger enters the gates, never, thereafter, to be a stranger.... Identity would seem to be the garment with which one covers the nakedness of the self: in which case, it is best that the garment be loose, a little like the robes of the desert, through which one's nakedness can always be felt, and, sometimes, discerned. This trust in one's nakedness is all that gives one the power to change one's robes.
I recently read a book that grouped humans into 10 distinct categories however I seem to be having an identity crisis and can't seem to figure out where I fit in. (I know this book must be good cause it had a hard cover and many colored pictures in it. ;-) )
Rug Rats. Principle event in this stage is learning to walk. The next learning experience is to learn what the word NO means. This is vital knowledge which will be extremely important as one commingles with girls from this stage on until one becomes codgerfied. Though have in recent years had to crawl on the carpet to the bathroom and do sometimes have the strong desire to become unweaned, I've learned what NO means and am pretty sure I don't belong in this category.
Child – The child is a very important element to the nation's economy since they represent the entire human market for chocolate covered rice and other sugar saturated sweets passed off by the cereal industry as nutrition.
Though I have been accused of acting childish at times. Especially when Her Majesty denies a Kitchen Pass so I can't go play cards with my friends in Las Vegas without her. Though I am still partial to Coco Puffs, I don't think I fit in this category completely – though it is sometimes debateable.
Adolescent – at this stage a person does about what he pleases and vowes never to grow up and be like his parents. Energy level is in maximum overdrive (probably due to vast sugar buildup in body from the nutritious breakfasts) but often is restrained by adults who tell him, "these are the best years of your life". With such a malleable mind, the adolescent believes this and is marred for life.
Nope, that ain't me. If it wasn't for the caffeine, I don't think I'd have any energy.
Young Adult – at this stage, your brain is at its maximum information storage capacity and the young adult knows it all and input of any additional information or instruction is utterly useless. The young adult also remembers his vow made in adolescence but during the first few years of this stage duplicates his parents exactly hence breaking the first of many promises to himself.
Well this might just be me.
Still a Young Adults typically walk around with a dazed somber look on their face. Often can be heard telling adolescents, "these are the best years of your life".
Well, now I am confused. This might explain why I sometimes feel like I got the word IDIOT tattooed on my forehead – maybe it's the dazed look.
Not Getting any Younger Adults typically feel they have missed something in their life and will sometimes buy a new wardrobe along with a flashy new sports car.
Ouch, that was my toe! Been kinda thinking about buying a Ford Quad Cab with the leather seats and all the trimmings and going on The Sipping and Cruising World Tour of Cattle Farms and Other Out of the Way Juke Joints and Oddities Tour. Just hadn't figured out how I'm going to get the truck to Sweden cause I promised a fella I was going to add that to my tour. Figured I'd drop by and help stack some lumber. So, this must not be me yet either.
Duffer A duffer is a Not Getting any Younger Adult who finally figures out they aren't getting any younger. They typically just plod along on a routine and are sometimes accused of being clumsy, forgetful and incompetent.
Well this might just be me too. Is the world tour off? Or have I already been? Gee this is confusing.
Codger aka coffin dodger, is usually an old person who moans about their arthritis or other ailments. They have little hair on their head, but compensate by tufts sprouting from their ears and noses (male) chins and top lips (female). They despise anything that anyone under 30 may do.
Cant manage to drive more than 30mph, and only drive on Sundays. In general, they usually sit around at the coffee shop complaining - to those who will listen – about their many ailments and otherwise just enjoying their poor health.
Not there yet. Hair just moved off my forehead and down my neck and back. I must still be a young pup.
Geezer Elderly, cranky old son of a bi$%& who drives too dang slow and complains about how things were in his day and how much easier it is for the youngsters these days.
Can cold Tennessee whiskey cause temporary mutations in people? Nah, couldn't be.
Coot, though called that at times I don't exactly fit the bill since coots are free from the shackles of social convention. They can drink whiskey whenever they wish and everyone will simply smile. Coots are also allowed improper advances toward younger women which would normally warrant a tail stomping by their husbands or boyfriends.
Not there, but looking forward to it.
Nevertheless, I am still somewhat confused as to where I fit in and who I am. How bout yourself? Who are you?
Maybe we will never know the answer completely and maybe Bennett said it best,
An identity is questioned only when it is menaced, as when the mighty begin to fall, or when the wretched begin to rise, or when the stranger enters the gates, never, thereafter, to be a stranger.... Identity would seem to be the garment with which one covers the nakedness of the self: in which case, it is best that the garment be loose, a little like the robes of the desert, through which one's nakedness can always be felt, and, sometimes, discerned. This trust in one's nakedness is all that gives one the power to change one's robes.
