*Cowgirl*
Well-known member
My Dearest Redneck Son,
> > >
> > > I'm writing this slow, because I know you can't read fast.
> > >
> > > We don't live where we did when you left home.
> > >
> > > Your Dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20
> > > miles of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the
> > > address because the last Arkansas family that lived here took the
> > > house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their
> > > address.
> > >
> > > This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not
> > > sure it works so well, though. Last week I put a load of clothes in
> > > and pulled the chain. We haven't seen them since.
> > >
> > > The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the
> > > first time for three days, and the second time for four days.
> > >
> > > About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Billy Bob said it
> > > would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we had
> > > to cut them off. You can find them in the pockets.
> > >
> > > Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried
> > > because it took him two hours to get me and your Pa out.
> > >
> > > Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it
> > > is yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle. It's the dangdest
> > > thing, but the baby looks just like your brother.
> > >
> > > Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to
> > > pull him out, but he fought them off and drowned. We had him
> > > cremated; he burned for three days.
> > >
> > > Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Bubba was
> > > driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other
> > > two friends, Cletus and Buford, were in the back. They drowned because
> > > they couldn't get the tailgate down.
> > >
> > > There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the
> > > normal has happened.
> > >
> > > Your Favorite Aunt,
> > >
> > > Mom
> > >
> > > I'm writing this slow, because I know you can't read fast.
> > >
> > > We don't live where we did when you left home.
> > >
> > > Your Dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20
> > > miles of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the
> > > address because the last Arkansas family that lived here took the
> > > house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their
> > > address.
> > >
> > > This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not
> > > sure it works so well, though. Last week I put a load of clothes in
> > > and pulled the chain. We haven't seen them since.
> > >
> > > The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the
> > > first time for three days, and the second time for four days.
> > >
> > > About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Billy Bob said it
> > > would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we had
> > > to cut them off. You can find them in the pockets.
> > >
> > > Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried
> > > because it took him two hours to get me and your Pa out.
> > >
> > > Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it
> > > is yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle. It's the dangdest
> > > thing, but the baby looks just like your brother.
> > >
> > > Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to
> > > pull him out, but he fought them off and drowned. We had him
> > > cremated; he burned for three days.
> > >
> > > Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Bubba was
> > > driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other
> > > two friends, Cletus and Buford, were in the back. They drowned because
> > > they couldn't get the tailgate down.
> > >
> > > There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the
> > > normal has happened.
> > >
> > > Your Favorite Aunt,
> > >
> > > Mom
