On a rant need some advice

[OwnedByTheCow]

So the 4-H club that I am in only consists of three people me, my 4-H leaders kid and this new bratt. She joined the club last year to show her Jersey the first fair went fine but it was the next one that changed things, she is making this 4-h club h*!! for me and the 4-h leaders kid. Her family acts like they own the club. All four of them sit in front of the cows and will wait there all day long. There little barn help that they bring to the fair with them cleans up the cows *for* us before we even get to the barn in the morning (I get up around 4:00 in the morning) . I keep losing my herdsmanship because of them! There little barn help is always there to pick up any mess. The girl is completely rude to us especially the 4-h leaders kid who she constantly taking advantage of. My 4-H leader does not like her either he completely stopped staying around completely and my mom won't even sit around the cows any more. She stole my show halter, i want it back but I have no proof that she took it but I know she did. So what I'm really worried and mad about is that she just bought 6 cows at the UNH 4-h auction and she is planning to show ALL of them this year with our club. I don't know what to do I don't want to leave my club but I can not deal with that family any more. We hate each other but we only stand each other because we have too. :help:

 

[Bigfoot]

Only thing I can tell you is, it takes all kinds to make this world go around. That includes her kind. Quicker you learn to deal with "negative" people, the more positive your life will be.

 

[branguscowgirl]

They should not be touching your cattle or your things unless you specifically ask them to. You will need to make that clear to them. 4H and the "Herdsman award" is all about what the participant does. Not about what someone else does for them.
I think that you have to politely set some boundaries and then reinforce them as needed. This is your project. Not theirs.
As far as just not liking them, well reread bigfoots comment. But I think if you set your boundaries the rest will get better also.

 

[wacocowboy]

It is sad but BF is right there are going to be people like her where ever you go. My Dad told me, "best thing to do is just learn how to deal with them and move on". As for her stealing your stuff I learned from being around 4H and FFA if you like it keep it locked up.

 

[cow pollinater]

Be yourself. Be gracious and kind like we see on here and present the best animal that you can. If that turns into to much then tell her where to stick it and then go right back to being gracious and kind. You might not ever beat her showing animals but cream rises to the top and people that can help you later in life are seeing how you act now. They also see what she's doing and how her family acts... In time that will bite her in the butt but if you stay true to yourself that will open doors for you that people would slam in her face if they get the chance.

 

[3waycross]

Be yourself. Be gracious and kind like we see on here and present the best animal that you can. If that turns into to much then tell her where to stick it and then go right back to being gracious and kind. You might not ever beat her showing animals but cream rises to the top and people that can help you later in life are seeing how you act now. They also see what she's doing and how her family acts... In time that will bite her in the butt but if you stay true to yourself that will open doors for you that people would slam in her face if they get the chance.

+1 excellent advice.

 

[D2Cat]

A thought that might help you in life. You reap what you sow, more then you sow, later then you sow.

That applies to everyone. So as suggested, be your best self and you'll be the person who ends up miles ahead in life. You'll be blessed when you don't immediately understand why, because of what you sow.

Others, and their negative habits, will drag themselves down eventually.

 

[branguscowgirl]

There little barn help that they bring to the fair with them cleans up the cows *for* us before we even get to the barn in the morning (I get up around 4:00 in the morning) . I keep losing my herdsmanship because of them!

I think that you all have given great advise, but are missing this part of her statement. They are interfering with her animal to the point that she is "losing her herdsmanship."
It is not "ok" for someone else to be caring for her animal without her permission. It is not what the 4H experience is about.
I agree that she should be "herself" and "polite", but set some boundaries on doing your project.

 

[cow pollinater]

There little barn help that they bring to the fair with them cleans up the cows *for* us before we even get to the barn in the morning (I get up around 4:00 in the morning) . I keep losing my herdsmanship because of them!

I think that you all have given great advise, but are missing this part of her statement. They are interfering with her animal to the point that she is "losing her herdsmanship."
It is not "ok" for someone else to be caring for her animal without her permission. It is not what the 4H experience is about.
I agree that she should be "herself" and "polite", but set some boundaries on doing your project.

You missed the "tell her where to stick it" part of my post. :mrgreen:

 

[branguscowgirl]

CP :lol: :lol:

It sounds like this other girl is not doing her own project either if she is planing on showing 6 more animals and have all that help doing it..........
Some how I thought 4H was suppose to be about the kids accomplishments, not the parents!

Maybe I am just bitter because my parents didn't help me in 4H! :lol: :lol:

 

[greybeard]

Sounds like a spoiled little rich kid to me. Someone(s) need their butt whipped.

 

[Lazy M]

If you're a girl, punch this other girl in the face. You're young enough to get away with it, and a little bit of trouble will be well worth it.
If you're a dude..well suck it up and get used to it..

 

[red angus 2010]

CP :lol: :lol:

It sounds like this other girl is not doing her own project either if she is planing on showing 6 more animals and have all that help doing it..........
Some how I thought 4H was suppose to be about the kids accomplishments, not the parents!Maybe I am just bitter because my parents didn't help me in 4H! :lol: :lol:

That applies to sports also doesn't it? :lol2:

 

[red angus 2010]

So the 4-H club that I am in only consists of three people me, my 4-H leaders kid and this new bratt. She joined the club last year to show her Jersey the first fair went fine but it was the next one that changed things, she is making this 4-h club h*!! for me and the 4-h leaders kid. Her family acts like they own the club. All four of them sit in front of the cows and will wait there all day long. There little barn help that they bring to the fair with them cleans up the cows *for* us before we even get to the barn in the morning (I get up around 4:00 in the morning) . I keep losing my herdsmanship because of them! There little barn help is always there to pick up any mess. The girl is completely rude to us especially the 4-h leaders kid who she constantly taking advantage of. My 4-H leader does not like her either he completely stopped staying around completely and my mom won't even sit around the cows any more. She stole my show halter, i want it back but I have no proof that she took it but I know she did. So what I'm really worried and mad about is that she just bought 6 cows at the UNH 4-h auction and she is planning to show ALL of them this year with our club. I don't know what to do I don't want to leave my club but I can not deal with that family any more. We hate each other but we only stand each other because we have too. :help:

Point one the judge or judges need to have someone remind them of what goes into judging for the herdsmanship award
Point two the "little help" needs to be told to stay out of your stalls PERIOD..
Point three put the time in on your animals and you may be surprised. My son enjoyed showing and taking care of the beef cattle. There was one family of "professional fair" exhibitors. Long story short son had a steer that was born at the earliest date to get into "market steer" category his steer "bambi" stayed with his mom and nursed way longer than he should have but boy did he fill out nicely. Came time for the fair and he won market steer. Have to admit I enjoyed watching the dad storm around because "junior" lost.

 

[wacocowboy]

There little barn help that they bring to the fair with them cleans up the cows *for* us before we even get to the barn in the morning (I get up around 4:00 in the morning) . I keep losing my herdsmanship because of them!

I think that you all have given great advise, but are missing this part of her statement. They are interfering with her animal to the point that she is "losing her herdsmanship."
It is not "ok" for someone else to be caring for her animal without her permission. It is not what the 4H experience is about.
I agree that she should be "herself" and "polite", but set some boundaries on doing your project.

Correct me if I am wrong been a long time since I messed with show animals, and I never really showed much just dated girls who did, but shouldn't the leader or someone in charge tell this girl and her lil helper to stay away from other people animals. All these programs are for kids but politics, money and over involved parents ruin it.

 

[msplmtneer]

Does the fairgrounds have security if so tell someone on the fair board that someone is messing with your animals also mention it to security. Then keep everything locked up even your feed!

 

[boondocks]

You sound like a very grounded young person. You have been given very good advice, to set some reasonable boundaries (in, of course, a polite friendly manner). You will realize that people like this DO get what they have coming---it's a thing called karma. [Someone who did me wrong about 8 years ago just finally got his dose of it. When this happens, you are allowed just a small smile to yourself; Google the word: schadenfreude]. Just wait around for a while and you'll see! In the meantime, the 4H judges and others in your community will see that you are a fine upstanding young person, and that will stand you in good stead. This is also good practice in how to deal with aholes, because, I'm sorry to say, you will always encounter a few!

Good luck!

 

[branguscowgirl]

Your 4H leader should be taking control of the situation and informing the parents and their "crew" that you all should be handling your own projects. Period.
If he/she can't do that, they are not much of a leader. IMHO

 

[wacocowboy]

Your 4H leader should be taking control of the situation and informing the parents and their "crew" that you all should be handling your own projects. Period.
If he/she can't do that, they are not much of a leader. IMHO

That is what I was thinking

 

[OwnedByTheCow]

I wish he would help but he does not get involved the dad of the girl is best friends with his older brother so I think that might have something to do with it but for their little helper. He is their 7 year old milking intern of some sort he is really nice I have gotten to be friends with him but the girl takes so much advantage of him pushing him around and stuff I have asked him to stop and he knows he should not but they make him clean all the stalls and even though he is not allowed to walk or even help with the cows he does and I've tried everything I can to get through to them but they just don't understand. I am really expecting her to ask for help with her new 6 cows which I have no idea how I am going to handle it, she knows exactly how to manipulate me and I try but we will see I try and she knows how nice I am and just walks right over me. The major problem that I am worried about is the fact that me, my 4-h leaders kid, and her new 6 cows are going to have to share 1 power outlet and one cute and a milking machine. They are horrible heifers too so she is going to take forever to get them ready.