EIEIO
Well-known member
Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising along a country road one evening when an ancient cow loomed in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn't- the aged bovine was struck and killed.
Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. She of course stayed in the car making phone calls to lobbyists and of course checking in on Bill.
About an hour later the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive whisky in one hand, a huge cigar in the other, and was smiling happily, smeared with lipstick.
"What happened to you?" asked Hillary.
"Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the whisky, and their beautiful twin daughters made mad passionate love to me."
"My God, what did you tell them?" asked Hillary.
The driver replied: "I just stepped inside the door and said, ' I'm Hillary Clinton's driver, and I've just killed the old cow,' and the rest happened like lightning!
Hillary, fuming, then stormed out of the limo and marched to the farmhouse. As she was walking up the drive she noticed that she was surrounded by large flies, which buzzed annoyingly around her head.
She got to the farmhouse and banged on the door, which opened by a wizened old rancher, who invited her in.
"I won't come in. I just wanted to voice my displeasure with your comparing me to an old cow! AND WHAT THE HECK IS IT WITH ALL THESE FLIES??
The rancher smiled and replied, "Sorry, Madame Senator. You're correct, that was rude and insensitive of us, and I offer my heartfelt apology. And those are horseflies. It's strange they're buzzing around your head like that. Usually they just buzz around the southern end of a northbound horse."
Hillary thought for a second and shreeked "Are you saying I'm a horse's ass?
The old rancher replied, "Oh, no ma'am! I would never say such a thing!
Hillary, satisfied, turned to leave. As she was walking down the steps the old rancher added "Of course, them flies are a whole lot better judge than I am...
Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. She of course stayed in the car making phone calls to lobbyists and of course checking in on Bill.
About an hour later the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive whisky in one hand, a huge cigar in the other, and was smiling happily, smeared with lipstick.
"What happened to you?" asked Hillary.
"Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the whisky, and their beautiful twin daughters made mad passionate love to me."
"My God, what did you tell them?" asked Hillary.
The driver replied: "I just stepped inside the door and said, ' I'm Hillary Clinton's driver, and I've just killed the old cow,' and the rest happened like lightning!
Hillary, fuming, then stormed out of the limo and marched to the farmhouse. As she was walking up the drive she noticed that she was surrounded by large flies, which buzzed annoyingly around her head.
She got to the farmhouse and banged on the door, which opened by a wizened old rancher, who invited her in.
"I won't come in. I just wanted to voice my displeasure with your comparing me to an old cow! AND WHAT THE HECK IS IT WITH ALL THESE FLIES??
The rancher smiled and replied, "Sorry, Madame Senator. You're correct, that was rude and insensitive of us, and I offer my heartfelt apology. And those are horseflies. It's strange they're buzzing around your head like that. Usually they just buzz around the southern end of a northbound horse."
Hillary thought for a second and shreeked "Are you saying I'm a horse's ass?
The old rancher replied, "Oh, no ma'am! I would never say such a thing!
Hillary, satisfied, turned to leave. As she was walking down the steps the old rancher added "Of course, them flies are a whole lot better judge than I am...
