Not raising COws?

[vclavin]

Can we do this with Cattle?

>Not Raising Hogs
> >------------------------------------
> >
> >Secretary of Agriculture
> >Washington, D.C.
> >
> >Dear Sir:
> >
> >My friend, Ed Peterson, over at Red Oak, Iowa, received a check
> for
> >$1,000 from the government for not raising 60 hogs. So, I want
> to
> >go into the not raising hog business next year.
> >
> >What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best kind
> of
> >farm to not raise hogs on, and what is the best breed of hogs
> not
> >to raise? I want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in
> >keeping with all government policies. I would prefer not to
> raise
> >razorbacks, being that Clinton is originally from Arkansas, but
> if
> >that is not a good breed not to raise then I will just as
> gladly
> >not raise Yorkshires or Durocs, or whatever you think is best.
> >
> >As I see it, the hardest part of this program will be in
> keeping an
> >accurate inventory of how many hogs I haven't raised.
> >
> >My friend Peterson is very joyful about the future of the
> business.
> >He has been raising hogs for 20 years or so, and the best he
> ever
> >made was $422 in 1986, until this year when he got your check
> for
> >$1,000 for not raising hogs.
> >
> >If I get $1,000 for not raising 50 hogs, will I get $2,000 for
> not
> >raising 100 hogs? I plan to operate on a small scale at first,
> >holding myself down to about 4,000 hogs not raised, which will
> mean
> >about $80,000 the first year.
> >
> >Now, another thing-these hogs I will not raise will not eat
> 100,000
> >bushels of corn. I understand that you also pay farmers for not
> >raising corn and wheat. Will I qualify for payments for not
> raising
> >corn and wheat to feed the 4,000 hogs I am not going to raise?
> >
> >I want to get started as soon as possible as this seems to be a
> >good time of the year to not raise hogs and grain.
> >
> >Also, I am considering the "not milking cows" business, so
> please
> >send me any information on that too.
> >
> >In view of theses circumstances you understand that I will be
> >unemployed and I plan to file for unemployment and food stamps.
> >
> >Be assured that your progressive administration will have my
> vote
> >in the next election.
> >
> >Patriotically Yours.
> >
> >-T.C.N
> >

 

[Jogeephus]

I received a similar letter once from the ASCS office after I planted some cropland into pine trees. They offered to pay me several thousand dollars if I would agree not to plant any vegetables on the land.

 

[john250]

I received a similar letter once from the ASCS office after I planted some cropland into pine trees. They offered to pay me several thousand dollars if I would agree not to plant any vegetables on the land.

Several years ago Wilford Brimley convinced me that pine nuts ARE a vegetable. Or at least a breakfast cereal.

 

[Jogeephus]

I received a similar letter once from the ASCS office after I planted some cropland into pine trees. They offered to pay me several thousand dollars if I would agree not to plant any vegetables on the land.

Several years ago Wilford Brimley convinced me that pine nuts ARE a vegetable. Or at least a breakfast cereal.

Remember Yule Gibbons?

 

[Anonymous]

Question is Joe, did you take the check????

 

[john250]

I received a similar letter once from the ASCS office after I planted some cropland into pine trees. They offered to pay me several thousand dollars if I would agree not to plant any vegetables on the land.

Several years ago Wilford Brimley convinced me that pine nuts ARE a vegetable. Or at least a breakfast cereal.

Remember Yule Gibbons?

Yeah--Yule Gibbons--that's what I meant. :lol:

 

[fit2btied]

Remember Yule Gibbons?

My grandpa always told us he died after he ate a cedar chest and couldn't pass the hardware. :shock: