my last farm related rant..

rockridgecattle

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Manitoba, Canada
..just cause i will be to busy to care...
why can't in laws leave well enough alone?
After three years of tenseness on the farm (live within 75 feet of each other) we are finally starting to get along. We, hubby and i feel comfortable enough to share some of the changes we are going through on the farm. So why do they have to mess it about?

we have a 7' mower 3pt. It's been on the farm as long as they have. It't in rough shape. The tractor we have that runs it is our only 3 pt, and it's having some engine problems, slight but it's soon time to fix.
Here is the deal, the mower has been retired, we own it. We have a nine foot with a good tractor that works well. The tractor we are trying to use a little as possible to keep it going until we have the funds to fix. It's a massie35 with a 3cly perkins. It's known for blowing head gaskets and droping sleives in the engine block. Right now it has JB weld on the sleives to create a level surface for the gasket. So the tractor is used for the garden tiller, garden cultivator and the post hole auger. That is it. We are just routing $ where really needed.
The FIL wanted to hook up the broken mower and use it. Hubby says no, it's broken, going to cost to fix, we don't need it, we have a nine foot and a haybine, use what we have. I should mention that we pay all the bills, FIL pays no fuel, oil, or repairs. He instead works a few hours a week to "pay his share of the expense" so to speak. And he has free use of all machinery.
We say no do not fix, oh yes it needs to be fixed, It's a good mower.
Hello, we bought it, we pay the expensses, if we do not want it fixed why can they not leave it at that? He did not even ask, Just we are going to fix it cause we want it fixed. Its 58 years old. It's seen better days,
uggg
end of total incoherent rant
 
hubby came in just now, and we had a chat. I should mention i went out to the field to talk to him about how inappropriate that conversation was. I also told him he needed to talk to them. I also told him not to come home until he talked to them. Not a good move but he has a history of saying he will talk to them and then not, something came up, he forgot, until it's too late to say anything. So this time i wanted this dealt with cause give a bale string soon they want the whole ball of twine.
So he talked to them and they agreed what they did was wrong. Hopefully I will not be on the #$##@@^ list for long. End of rant
 
In Laws. Aren't they great? It is hard when you don't always get along. I have issues with the FIL myself and it can really take a toll on a marriage at times. My husband does not like to cross his dad, even when he knows his dad is wrong. A lot of it is related to me, but that's my rant. Hang in there.
 
sounds like yall just dont get along when it comes todoing somethings on the farm.but thats the generation gap an old age kicking in.my mom is the same if you tear the tractor up im not fixing it.im like ok dont fix it.if tears up ill get it fixed.so yes i know what your going through.just have to gritt your teeth an do what you have to.
 
Know just what you are talking about RR.
My FIL was the same way. Got on his sh*t list after standing up to him and chewing him a new one. He didn't speak to me for 2 weeks. :D

Know about the equipment issue too. FIL's brothers would come and "borrow" the front end loader tractor, calf branding table or the little Ford tractor. everything would be returned empty on fuel and/or broken. :devil2:
One cousin pulled an attitude with me over his using the calf table. Told me it was for everybody to use. Husband got him off the place before I loaded him with buckshot. Cousin bought his own after that.

You have my support on this, because I have been there.
 
I can relate... here's my rant... only its with BIL. We're in a position that we try to help who we can when we can, only 99% of the time I'm disappointed by people that WONT help themselves. You try to give someone a helping hand and they screw it all up turning what you did into a total waste...I'd rather help a complete stranger and walk away then to help a family member. :mad:

BIL moved his family here from out of state... they "needed a change" so moved into our old farmhouse and was going to buy it. We gave them 6mo that they didn't have to pay us rent (we still pay a mtg on it) so they could get jobs and get on their feet. Month 8 they moved 2 hrs away and now don't talk to us. They couldn't have lived anywhere else for FREE but we ask them to pay a little rent and we're suddenly "horses arses" Everyone says we were just taken advantage of, plain and simple. Thanks for allowing my little rant.... Next?
 
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Wisteria Farms":awxqfna2 said:
I can relate... here's my rant... only its with BIL. We're in a position that we try to help who we can when we can, only 99% of the time I'm disappointed by people that WONT help themselves. You try to give someone a helping hand and they screw it all up turning what you did into a total waste...I'd rather help a complete stranger and walk away then to help a family member. :mad:

BIL moved his family here from out of state... they "needed a change" so moved into our old farmhouse and was going to buy it. We gave them 6mo that they didn't have to pay us rent (we still pay a mtg on it) so they could get jobs and get on their feet. Month 8 they moved 2 hrs away and now don't talk to us. They couldn't have lived anywhere else for FREE but we ask them to pay a little rent and we're suddenly "horses arses" Everyone says we were just taken advantage of, plain and simple. Thanks for allowing my little rant.... Next?


Sounds like you were taken advantage of, but thats kind of what some family members end up doing. Best bet is to forget about it and move on, but I surely would just let them be, and not offer any further assistance.

GMN
 
rockridgecattle":29dmn05x said:
..just cause i will be to busy to care...
why can't in laws leave well enough alone?
After three years of tenseness on the farm (live within 75 feet of each other) we are finally starting to get along. We, hubby and i feel comfortable enough to share some of the changes we are going through on the farm. So why do they have to mess it about?

That one is really quite simple - every person has a different outlook/outtake on things depending on their age and background, and they may or may not see it from your point of view. Add to that the fact that they may or may not know about your personal problems, and you have a mess looking for the moment to blow up in your face.

we have a 7' mower 3pt. It's been on the farm as long as they have. It't in rough shape. The tractor we have that runs it is our only 3 pt, and it's having some engine problems, slight but it's soon time to fix.
Here is the deal, the mower has been retired, we own it. We have a nine foot with a good tractor that works well. The tractor we are trying to use a little as possible to keep it going until we have the funds to fix. It's a massie35 with a 3cly perkins. It's known for blowing head gaskets and droping sleives in the engine block. Right now it has JB weld on the sleives to create a level surface for the gasket. So the tractor is used for the garden tiller, garden cultivator and the post hole auger. That is it. We are just routing $ where really needed.
The FIL wanted to hook up the broken mower and use it. Hubby says no, it's broken, going to cost to fix, we don't need it, we have a nine foot and a haybine, use what we have. I should mention that we pay all the bills, FIL pays no fuel, oil, or repairs. He instead works a few hours a week to "pay his share of the expense" so to speak. And he has free use of all machinery.
We say no do not fix, oh yes it needs to be fixed, It's a good mower.
Hello, we bought it, we pay the expensses, if we do not want it fixed why can they not leave it at that? He did not even ask, Just we are going to fix it cause we want it fixed. Its 58 years old. It's seen better days,
uggg
end of total incoherent rant

FIL chose to fix it against the wishes of hubby, FIL pays for it - period, end of discussion. That point should have been made from the git go.
 
Wisteria Farms":obfru88k said:
I can relate... here's my rant... only its with BIL. We're in a position that we try to help who we can when we can, only 99% of the time I'm disappointed by people that WONT help themselves. You try to give someone a helping hand and they screw it all up turning what you did into a total waste...I'd rather help a complete stranger and walk away then to help a family member. :mad:

BIL moved his family here from out of state... they "needed a change" so moved into our old farmhouse and was going to buy it. We gave them 6mo that they didn't have to pay us rent (we still pay a mtg on it) so they could get jobs and get on their feet. Month 8 they moved 2 hrs away and now don't talk to us. They couldn't have lived anywhere else for FREE but we ask them to pay a little rent and we're suddenly "horses arses" Everyone says we were just taken advantage of, plain and simple. Thanks for allowing my little rant.... Next?

This one is your own fault - if you can't afford it, don't offer the help. If you choose to offer the help anyway, then don't be bitching about it when you get taken advantage of - plain and simple. ;-)
 
msscamp":1lb2vy0a said:
Wisteria Farms":1lb2vy0a said:
I can relate... here's my rant... only its with BIL. We're in a position that we try to help who we can when we can, only 99% of the time I'm disappointed by people that WONT help themselves. You try to give someone a helping hand and they screw it all up turning what you did into a total waste...I'd rather help a complete stranger and walk away then to help a family member. :mad:

BIL moved his family here from out of state... they "needed a change" so moved into our old farmhouse and was going to buy it. We gave them 6mo that they didn't have to pay us rent (we still pay a mtg on it) so they could get jobs and get on their feet. Month 8 they moved 2 hrs away and now don't talk to us. They couldn't have lived anywhere else for FREE but we ask them to pay a little rent and we're suddenly "horses arses" Everyone says we were just taken advantage of, plain and simple. Thanks for allowing my little rant.... Next?

This one is your own fault - if you can't afford it, don't offer the help. If you choose to offer the help anyway, then don't be bitching about it when you get taken advantage of - plain and simple. ;-)

I offer help WHETHER OR NOT I can afford it... (that's what good people do)... As for bitching when I'm taken advantage of... I'm sorry but thats never going to change because its wrong to take advantage of people. My error was in thinking that they had a concience (which they obviously don't)... I'm sorry, Msscamp, that you think I just need to put on my "big girl panties" and deal with it... No... its wrong. Period. :tiphat:
 
Well I"m going to make y'all jealous.. no BIL, no FIL, no MIL.. in fact, no in laws anywhere in site. My mom lives an hour away, we talk occassionally.. but no one else is involved with us or the farm.

I'm sure the "family closeness" is what everyone is striving for, but so much of the time it's hurt feelings and bruised egos and trying daily to get along. Life is too short, and I have little or no patience for drama.

:tiphat:
 
Wisteria Farms":2328cviv said:
msscamp":2328cviv said:
Wisteria Farms":2328cviv said:
I can relate... here's my rant... only its with BIL. We're in a position that we try to help who we can when we can, only 99% of the time I'm disappointed by people that WONT help themselves. You try to give someone a helping hand and they screw it all up turning what you did into a total waste...I'd rather help a complete stranger and walk away then to help a family member. :mad:

BIL moved his family here from out of state... they "needed a change" so moved into our old farmhouse and was going to buy it. We gave them 6mo that they didn't have to pay us rent (we still pay a mtg on it) so they could get jobs and get on their feet. Month 8 they moved 2 hrs away and now don't talk to us. They couldn't have lived anywhere else for FREE but we ask them to pay a little rent and we're suddenly "horses arses" Everyone says we were just taken advantage of, plain and simple. Thanks for allowing my little rant.... Next?

This one is your own fault - if you can't afford it, don't offer the help. If you choose to offer the help anyway, then don't be bitching about it when you get taken advantage of - plain and simple. ;-)

I offer help WHETHER OR NOT I can afford it... (that's what good people do)... As for bitching when I'm taken advantage of... I'm sorry but thats never going to change because its wrong to take advantage of people. My error was in thinking that they had a concience (which they obviously don't)... I'm sorry, Msscamp, that you think I just need to put on my "big girl panties" and deal with it... No... its wrong. Period. :tiphat:

That is your choice, but anything you post on this forum is open for discussion (and opinions). As far as dealing with it goes - I don't need to deal with anything - it wasn't my decision, and it's not my ass on the line. As far as "good people" go - I'm willing to help anyone in any way that I can, but I'll be damned if I'm going to put my operation and animals at risk because of someone who is "looking to make a change" - that is just plain stupid. My first priority is my basic needs, and my financial responsibilities. My second priority is my animals. If there is anything left over, I will be more than happy to discuss what I can do to help.
 
I have found that the best way to get away from friends and relatives is to loan them money. Tom :cboy:
 
Msscamp,
1. You are welcome to your opinion (as is anyone).
2. I didn't tell YOU to deal with anything.... what I said was, "I'm sorry you think I need to put my "big girl panties on" and deal with it"
3. Who said I put my operation and animals at risk? I am not "just plain stupid".... I was "just plain taken"!!!

Now, I'm starting to notice, you chew my ass any chance you get. Anyone on these boards knows I don't go looking for arguments so how about you enlighten us ALL as to what I did to pisssss you off? BREATH????!!!! Get your priorities straight and you might feel good at the end of the day and not be so bitter....have a good day :D

p.s. My apologies to the rest of you.
 

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