Crowderfarms
Well-known member
>Murphy's Real Laws
>1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
>
>2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
>
>3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
>
>4. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
>
>5. Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
>
>6. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
>
>7. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
>
>8. Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it.
>
>9. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
>
>10. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
>
>11. He's not dead. He's electroencephalography challenged.
>
>12. She's always late. In fact, her ancestors arrived on the "Juneflower."
>
>13. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted
>and used against you.
>
>14. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
>
>15. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
>
>16. Pardon my driving, I'm reloading.
>
>17 Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
>
>18. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
>
>19. It is hard to understand how a cemetery can raise its burial costs and
>blame it on the higher cost of living.
>
>20. Just remember if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
>
>21. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something
>right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
>
>22. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end,
>someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
>
>23. You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
>
>24. Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world
>population.
>
>25. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
>
>26. The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those
>who got there first.
>
>27. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he
>will sit in a boat all day drinking.
>
>28. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
>
>29. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture.
>
>30. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
>
>31. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
>
>32. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
>
>33. I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
>
>34. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
>
>35. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12
>people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
>
>36. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright
>until you hear them speak
>
>1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
>
>2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
>
>3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
>
>4. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
>
>5. Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
>
>6. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
>
>7. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
>
>8. Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it.
>
>9. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
>
>10. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
>
>11. He's not dead. He's electroencephalography challenged.
>
>12. She's always late. In fact, her ancestors arrived on the "Juneflower."
>
>13. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted
>and used against you.
>
>14. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
>
>15. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
>
>16. Pardon my driving, I'm reloading.
>
>17 Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
>
>18. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
>
>19. It is hard to understand how a cemetery can raise its burial costs and
>blame it on the higher cost of living.
>
>20. Just remember if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
>
>21. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something
>right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
>
>22. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end,
>someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
>
>23. You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
>
>24. Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world
>population.
>
>25. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
>
>26. The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those
>who got there first.
>
>27. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he
>will sit in a boat all day drinking.
>
>28. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
>
>29. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture.
>
>30. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
>
>31. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
>
>32. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
>
>33. I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
>
>34. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
>
>35. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12
>people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
>
>36. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright
>until you hear them speak
>
