men are like....

[RebelCritter]

For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free. Here's an update for you: Now days, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.

Men are like....
1. Men are like ..Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like. Bananas . The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like ...Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like ..Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like .... Commercials ....... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like ......Government Bonds ..... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like .....Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like .Popcorn .. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like ........ Lava Lamps .... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

 

[cowspider]

:shock: "OUCH" That hurt. :lol:

 

[flaboy?]

Women... Can't live with them, can't shoot'em!

Women... are like streetcars; a new one comes along every ten minutes

Women... are like floppy disks - Smart men always keep a back-up

Women... they are not all annoying, so are dead.

Women... are like hurricanes, when they come they are wet and wild, when they leave they take the house and car.


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[Canadian_Cowgirl]

RebelCritter where do you find these? they are so frickin funny!!!

Flaboy, your just mean!


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


Katy

 

[chrisy]

RebelCritter where do you find these? they are so frickin funny!!!

Flaboy, your just mean!


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


Katy

not mean Katy...just foolish,

behind ever good man is an even better woman.
when have any of you girls known a man to make a good decision, except the one he took in marrying you. :banana:

 

[flaboy?]

behind ever good man is an even better woman.
when have any of you girls known a man to make a good decision, except the one he took in marrying you. :banana:

Well, you gals finally see your place is BEHIND the man.

I would not say making a decision to marry is a good one. Conversely, I hear the divorce is up to the 70% range today. That would mean 70% bad decisions but then again we can't take all the blame. Those dang women must emit some mind altering drug to make us "pop" the :?: . :lol:

 

[pdfangus]

When women decided that they wanted to be like men, it marked the beginning of the decline in our civilization.
Now we are in free fall.

 

[RebelCritter]

We dont want to be like men! We are forced to get out there and help! Then found out how much fun you men were having so decided to do more! Besides, how many of us could actually sustain a half decent comfort of living if there werent two incomes? Man cant bring home enough bacon by himself anymore.
Q. Why do men like smart women?
A. Opposites attract.

flaboy -divorce rate is not that high. and the older you get the lower the rate is! The wise never marry. and when they marry they become otherwise.

I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I HAVE A GUN !!!

 

[pdfangus]

We dont want to be like men! We are forced to get out there and help! Then found out how much fun you men were having so decided to do more! Besides, how many of us could actually sustain a half decent comfort of living if there werent two incomes? Man cant bring home enough bacon by himself anymore.
Q. Why do men like smart women?
A. Opposites attract.

flaboy -divorce rate is not that high. and the older you get the lower the rate is! The wise never marry. and when they marry they become otherwise.

I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I HAVE A GUN !!!

Well....
Some one rose to the bait.

Before I start my rant I am not talking about all women but rather societal trends and mores.

I was not talking about working.
Most women have always worked hard. My wife works much harder than I do at anything she does.

I am talking about when women in our society decided they wanted to abandon the role of wife and mother and homemaker and cartaker of our cultural values and our morality and the upbringing of the next generation.
No family can keep up with the jones on a normal single person income. but who is it that mostly cares about just where the jones are by comparison?
Our societal values have changed.
And women changed them.
Bright and studious and god fearing children who were a credit to the family and the community used to be the goal of a family.
Now it is the latest cell phone, the newest car, the biggest house, the best plasma TeeVee, the highest speed internet, the best cable or satelite system, The Best vacation Ever... Every year, the best job, the highest pay, the best husband, the fastest horse, the biggest bull, the tightest abs...........the list goes on. women today are far more competetive than most men I know.
I work in an office where the women outnumber the men about three to one and some of these poor guys are abolutely terror stricken.
Women used to be the part of society that safeguarded morality and good behavior. They were the standard bearers of decency and respect and upright living. They looked down on those who could not live up to the standard with considerable distain. It worked for hundreds of years. It was not the mountain men and the cowboys who tamed the west in our country. they just substitued one kind of wild life for another.
It was the arrival of the women and their demand for decorum and respect and laws and proper conduct.

all that is out the window now. About fifty years ago women decided to burn the bras as a symbol of their new freedom. the barbarians among us applauded as we like to see em come off. Now this symbolic ritual is repeated often with great glee at Mardi Gras and anywhere there is a Girls Gone Wild camera.
women don't want to just make money like men. they want to drink like men talk like men and fight like men and live like pigs the way men have for thousands of years. fidelity and commitment have become things of the past because women in our society have cast them off. Most divorces I know of have occured because the women wanted out and not because of severe behavior by the husband. But men are supposed to be pigs. that is what women love about them. they don't swoon over charles the mild mannered accountant. they throw themselves at billy badass.

Heard a working mother just yesterday lament the fact that her kid mooned another kid at his five year old birthday party. A birthday party that was more extravagant and had more guests by the way than my sisters recent wedding.
"Where did a five year old learn about mooning?"
Helloooooooooo.......is there anyone in there??????? The kid has been in daycare and other proxy care for 12 hours a day since he was six weeks old. I wonder where he picked it up.

As my final argument. Yesterday I had three women discussing pushing me into a deep body of water. but there were too many witnesses. today i have been threatened by e-mail gunfire and hormones.

I rest my case.

 

[Auburn_Ag]

For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free. Here's an update for you: Now days, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.

Men are like....
1. Men are like ..Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like. Bananas . The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like ...Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like ..Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like .... Commercials ....... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like ......Government Bonds ..... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like .....Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like .Popcorn .. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like ........ Lava Lamps .... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

I find 13. tobe true for men and women. 13 also has another part that is,

Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are either handicapped or so far out there you don't want them. So you just keep driving around to you find one.

Also
14. Men are like dogs......... some just have less fleas than others! Older lady at the co-op use to say that one.

 

[RebelCritter]

Actually I agree with most of that! But !! Men have changed over these years as well. You cant blame all the worlds problem on women burning bras!!! Have you ever worn a bra? Worst stupidest invention every created!

Now it is the latest cell phone, the newest car, the biggest house, the best plasma TeeVee, the highest speed internet, the best cable or satelite system, The Best vacation Ever... Every year, the best job, the highest pay, the best husband, the fastest horse, the biggest bull, the tightest abs...........the list goes on. women today are far more competetive than most men I know.

Wrong there. I couldnt care less about the latest anything! I am the last one to get the new technology! I see men doing that more often - with cars, lawn equipment, tools, tractors ....

Agree a bunch of women working in an office does sound like a noisy chicken coop! I guarantee I am not one of them!

and competition is healthy in my opinion. there has been competivness since the beginning of time. wanna race?

women don't want to just make money like men. they want to drink like men talk like men and fight like men and live like pigs the way men have for thousands of years. fidelity and commitment have become things of the past because women in our society have cast them off. Most divorces I know of have occured because the women wanted out and not because of severe behavior by the husband. But men are supposed to be pigs. that is what women love about them. they don't swoon over charles the mild mannered accountant. they throw themselves at billy badass.

Most divorces do occur because the men do something stupid! like cheating. Men are not supposed to be pigs and I do NOT like men who are pigs! (could this be part of the problem?) There is something between mild mannered and billy badboy! Thats the man I want.

I totally agree that the child rearing, tv, violence, on and on, is all wrong. That cant be blamed all on women! It takes two! I blame narcissism and the escape from God. There are too many causes to the problems in the world today to list! you cant blame it all on women!

and the gunfire hormone comment was a JOKE!!! see the little laughing face emoticon? :roll:

this is way too deep.... on with life we go....

 

[flaboy?]

A woman marries a man expecting him to change, and he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting her not to change and she does.

 

[pdfangus]

"and the gunfire hormone comment was a JOKE!!! see the little laughing face emoticon?

this is way too deep.... on with life we go...."

There are days when i think all of life is a Joke.
but this just ain't one of em.

By the way.......
One of my pet peeves is all the man bashing that takes place in our society today.
I get a couple of dumb man e-mails every week and I try to respond to every one of em.
some responses are more lucid than others but I ain't going to just set back and take it.
todays women want to be equal they got to be able to take it as well as dish it out.

Notice the differing responses between this thread and the similar thread about women. I just view myself as equal time.

 

[RebelCritter]

You know what? nevermind all that chatter i posted. Its not me to debate and argue. I like to joke and kid, and dish it out and take can take it. I work hard, harder than most men and I am proud of it. I live a simple life. I enjoy growing my own food. I enjoy healthy living. I love God. I wish for fidelity and commitment! I havent found the "mind altering drug" yet.

 

[Dave]

I have noticed that the men who do cheat and sleep around do it with..... get this.... Women. And most of those women are either cheating on their husbands or they are well aware that the man they are involved with is married.

 

[flaboy?]

You know what? nevermind all that chatter i posted. Its not me to debate and argue. I like to joke and kid, and dish it out and take can take it. I work hard, harder than most men and I am proud of it. I live a simple life. I enjoy growing my own food. I enjoy healthy living. I love God. I wish for fidelity and commitment! I havent found the "mind altering drug" yet.

Aw, come here Critter and let me give you a hug, then go get me another beer and open it on the way back. :lol:

 

[pdfangus]

I have noticed that the men who do cheat and sleep around do it with..... get this.... Women. And most of those women are either cheating on their husbands or they are well aware that the man they are involved with is married.

I started to mention that most of these men were not doing this alone but figured I had already hit a little harder than was antipated.

But I have seen quite a few men loose a wife to "I want something more out of life" or "You just have not grown with me" or "we have grown apart".

Quite often these fine ladies had little trouble becoming otherwise associated rather quickly.

where I am troubled is that we now have generations of children raised to accept that divorce is a normal part of the marriage. The marriage becomes in the common parlance of the day an extended "hookup"

 

[pdfangus]

"Aw, come here Critter and let me give you a hug, then go get me another beer and open it on the way back. "

FlaBoy.

I can see I need to educate you here. It is perfectly acceptable to have them bring you the beer but under no circumstances should you accept one that is already open.

 

[RebelCritter]

I agree with you pdfangus. The problem I have is you blaming it ALL (ALL) on women. Thats just not fair. Women are part the problem I agree. But MEN are part of it as well. Give me that and we can truce.

:HUG: flaboy!!! Heres your beer :drink:
Now
Pour me a cold one and oh, by the way
Rub my feet, gimme something to eat
Fix me up my favorite treat

 

[flaboy?]

But I have seen quite a few men loose a wife to "I want something more out of life" or "You just have not grown with me" or "we have grown apart".

quote]

Well, here is some real life experience. I was told I didn't meet her "emotional needs". When asked to explain she couldn't. She just wanted someone to kiss her you know what all the time and I wasn't the person for that job.