Jogeephus":vjp1pzbf said:
CF, just for your benefit I am going to go out of my way sometime in the future and take a picture of what a navigable stream is so you can better understand how things are now done in this country.
CF, as promised I went out of my way for your educational benefit and snapped this photo of the major water course that caused me so much trouble with the good folks at DotGov. To begin with, the initial intent of this huge water course was to allow for runoff from extreme weather conditions brought on by the government's installation of a multi-acre parking lot just feet from my property. It was agreed that during the construction the gov't would put the spoils on the left side of the ditch - their side. Unfortunately, the government employee started his dig on the opposite end and worked toward the point of beginning so while he did put the dirt on the left side of the dig it was on the opposite side it was supposed to go on. They put it on MY SIDE.
Now you don't know me but I don't let stuff like this bother me too much. No one died. They didn't tear anything up. Didn't tear a tractor in half and if this was the worst thing that was going to happen to me that week I would have been more than content. Sure, I could have thrown a fit and made them move the dirt but what would this had accomplished? Would have cost the government a pile of money or as I see it - cost us taxpayers a pile of money so I let it be on the condition the dirt would be mine. They readily agreed.
As time went on, I decided to act on some plans to add some fill to this property while digging a lake. Knowing I was going to be messing with wetlands and water I felt it best to bring in the NRCS office to get their blessing before I moved an inch of soil. They came out and I showed them my plans and shared my intentions and they issued me a Corps of Engineers exemption certificate and gave me their blessings to proceed as per their suggestions. I did.
With two excavators, twelve dump trucks, two tractors and two dozers I set off to make things happen as efficiently as possible but all this equipment was running me around $900 per hour but we were getting her done. At least until Dot Gov showed up.
I received a phone call from the foreman at the fill site telling me some light loafered fella from the government had shut them down and I needed to get there ASAP. Within 5 minutes I pull to the site and meet the pale face of DotGov. The boy looked like he had full blown AIDS but I suspect it was more than likely the result of his poor nutrition from his vegan diet but it very well could have been AIDS. His liberalism reeked worse than my conservatism. Needless to say we didn't hit it off well at all. He commenced to tell me everything I was doing wrong and how I needed to pay $5000 for an environmental impact plan, how I needed silt fencing and this that and the other. As said, I had done my homework and nothing he said applied to me. On top of that he didn't even know where he was since the requirements he said were mandatory were only applicable to the local government that had accepted a certain grant and I was out of this area. (I think I've mentioned before my hatred of grants. Selling your soul for a carrot is not good business in my book but that's another story)
I called the NRCS and they told me I could tell him to kiss my a$$ because he was clearly out of line. Telling him to kiss my a$$ was far from what I was ready to do to him at that moment. What I had in mind involved about 10 minutes with the excavator but I held my tongue. I gave him the phone so he could talk to the NRCS and they seemed to deflate him some but I could tell he felt emasculated by this - not that there was anything masculine about this POS. He gave the phone back to me and I could see him pout. Then he spied the government drainage ditch and saw we had been moving some of these spoils and he started on me again only this time it concerned a subject I'm well versed on so I stood my ground and fought him with facts. But this was like talking to a wall. According to him, this huge waterway - even though it meets none of the requirements - is considered navigable waters and falls under the jurisdiction of the Army Corps of Engineers which he was a representative for and the NRCS had no jurisdiction on this. I explained to him the facts but to no avail. I then asked him how in God's name could this little ditch be considered navigable. He pointed down to the dab of water in the bottom and
said a duck could use this to navigate so it was navigable which gave him jurisdiction.
I apologize for the long post but his shutting me down cost me around $1800 so I could be educated and I didn't want others to have to learn from my moronic delusions of reality. Learning the truth is sobering for sure. Its much like the time I thought my girl friend and I had had enjoyed one of the most fabulous dates of our lives until I came down off the LSD and found myself half naked in the parking lot dragging a mannequin which - based on the broken plate glass window - I had stolen from Macy's department store.
So what I'm saying is the truth is sobering. Humbling. Especially when you learn that DotGov is right. Here is a picture so you can see just what a navigable water is so you don't destroy the world like I have done. Especially after 3.5 inches of rain we just had. (this was the reason it took me so long to get back to you. Had to wait for some water.
Oh, every bit of this is true except for the part about the LSD and the mannequin. Don't know why I threw that in other than every time I think of this day I think this must be what a bad trip must be like. Anyhow, just look at the picture and you can clearly see that DotGov was right and they are only protecting us from ourselves and our ignorance.