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Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a ship that had sunk. "Follow me son", the father shark said to his son, and they swam to the survivors.
"First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing." And they did.
"Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing." And they did.
"Now we eat everybody." And they did.
When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just eat them? Why did we swim around and around them?"
His wise father replied, "Because they taste better without the $hit inside!"
****************
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers.
"Hello?"
"Mrs Sanders, please."
"Speaking."
"Mrs. Sanders, this is Dr Jones at St. Agnes Laboratory. When your
husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from
another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one
belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too
good."
"What do you mean?" Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.
"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the
other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which."
"That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Sanders.
"Normally we can, but the new health care system will only pay for these
expensive tests just one time."
''Well, what am I supposed to do now? "
"The folks at Obama health care recommend that you drop your husband off
somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep
with him."
*******************
Cremation: Thinking outside of the box.
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Did You Hear About the guy that threatened to jump off a 300 foot cliff?
It turned out to be a big bluff.
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