Hunting jokes

Gather App
UnlistMe
Inventry
K

Kingfisher

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 5, 2010
Messages
5,195
City & State/Province
Austin Texas
Opening weekend a dude asked me " what's the first thing You do after shooting a buck?"
With a big grin I told him " turn off the light....:)"

Your turn! :santa:
 
Kingfisher":22m33r98 said:
Opening weekend a dude asked me " what's the first thing You do after shooting a buck?"
With a big grin I told him " turn off the light....:)"

Your turn! :santa:
Click to expand...

I'm slow. Took me a while to get it.

I saw a guy squirrel hunting the other. His game bag was completely full, but he wasn't carrying a gun. Finally out of curiosity, I asked how he was killing them. He said he was so ugly, when squirrels see him they drop dead. I said no way man. About that time a big fox squirrel stepped out on a limb. He yelled to get its attention. Soon as the squirrel looked at him it dropped dead. I was shocked, I asked do you know anybody else that hunt squirrels this way. He said my dad and brother can both do it. I said that's amazing anybody else in your family got the gift. He said well my sister can't go squirrel hunting at all. That really got my attention i said, oh is your sister good looking? He said naw, she tears them up to bad to eat!
 
Oldie and a fishing joke, but here's you go king.
Guys out in his boat fishing with dynamite. Game warden pulls up and yells. Hey you can't do that I'm going to have to take you in.
Old boy lights a stick and throws it to the game warden, who catches it out of reflex. He ask the warden. You gonna talk or you gonna fish.
 
Three guys are out hunting and sitting around the evening campfire exchanging their worst experiences.

The first guy says the worst thing that ever happened to him was, he was up on scaffold 7 stories high washing windows when the scaffold collapsed and he fell, breaking every bone in his body and he was hospitalized for six months.

The second guy says the worst thing that ever happened to him was, he was hitch-hiking and a Greyhound bus ran over him, breaking his back and he wound up in the hospital for nearly a year.

The 3rd guy was not saying anything, so one of the others asked him about his worst experience.

He said, "Well, I'll tell you about the second worst thing that ever happened to me, I was out hunting one time and I had to take a dump, so I stepped behind a tree, dropped my trousers, and crouched down into *the* position."

"Yeah? What happened next?" Asks his friend.

"I got a little too close to the ground and -- WHAM -- a bear trap snapped shut on my nuts."

One of the other guys said, "God! If that was the second worst, what in the world was the worst?"

He calmly replied "Oh, that would be when I hit the end of the chain."
 

Latest posts

Back
Top