How to know you are too fat

[SPRINGER FARMS MURRAY GRE]

You Know It's Time to Diet When...

- You dance and it makes the band skip.

- You are diagnosed with the flesh eating virus, and the doctor gives you 22 more years to live.

- You put mayonnaise on an aspirin.

- You go to the zoo and the elephants throw you peanuts.

- Your driver's license says, "Picture continued on other side."

- You ran away and they had to use all four sides of the milk carton for your picture.

- You learn you were born with a silver shovel in your mouth.

- You could sell shade.

- Your blood type is Ragu.

- You need an appointment to attend an 'open house'.

;-) :cboy: :lol:

 

[Crowderfarms]

Mr. Springer, You are to be commended. Excellent!

 

[ollie']

Very funny. I actually currently weigh 415 down from 435 just before Christmas. I can make the band skip.

 

[Scout]

We used to know a guy around here - his main occupation was making shade. He was the best in his class, let me tell you.

 

[ollie']

My Dad weighed 615 when he died and my mom weighed 120. I take after my dad. This was back when we lived in Noraway.

 

[Crowderfarms]

We used to know a guy around here - his main occupation was making shade. He was the best in his class, let me tell you.

Hmmmm,? Scout sounds like you experieced an eclipse.

 

[ollie']

It was tough on mom.She finally decided to divorce dad . In court she told the judge she had struggled with mattress depression for years...

 

[ollie']

He was so fat he had to take a bath one leg at a time.

 

[ollie']

My mother always told me I wasn't fat but rather that I had a gravitational advantage over my peers.

 

[Mahoney Pursley Ranch]

I knew a girl once was so fat somebody told her to haul butt she had to make two trips.

 

[msscamp]

I knew a girl once was so fat somebody told her to haul butt she had to make two trips.

That's awful! :roll:

 

[Crowderfarms]

I once knew a girl that was so fat, that when she wore a red dress, the whole neighborhood yelled Kool Aid, Kool Aid!.

 

[msscamp]

Oh Lord, here we go with the bad jokes!

 

[Just_a_girl]

Oh Lord, here we go with the bad jokes!

Isn't that the truth. :roll:

 

[Saltydawg]

I knew a girl who was so fat she couldn't wear a Malcolm X t-shirt cause the helicopters kept trying to land on her.

 

[Beefy]

i once knew a girl who was so fat that when she jumped up in the air she got stuck.

 

[aplusmnt]

I was trying to loose weight till I read an article that said obesity was hereditary, so now I put my parents on a diet to solve my problem.

 

[ChrisB]

I knew a girl that was so fat that when she stood on the street corner the cops came by and said to break it up.

 

[warpaint]

"Makes the band skip", Thats classic. Very funny. :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[ctlbaron]

I knew a girl that was so fat that she was almost hit by a car. the guy swerved to miss her and ran out of gas.