IluvABbeef
Well-known member
- Joined
- Mar 29, 2006
- Messages
- 3,630
It is apparent that some of the people who post in these threads are regarded as <shudder> HICKS.
Merriam Webster defines Hick as: an unsophisticated provincial person – and defines unsophisticated as “not worldly wise; simple, straightforward or natural” – and defines provincial as “a person of local or restricted interests or outlook or a person lacking urban polish or refinement”
That pretty well identifies our resident HICKS – simple, natural and lacking in urban refinement <ugh>.
The more urbane and sophisticated members of our population do not care to associate with HICKS because such people might live in shacks (anything less than a McMansion), and live out in the sticks (outside the urban and suburban areas). They no doubt drive old junk cars on dirt roads and don’t have sidewalks and shopping malls. Isn’t it the height of ridiculous that people would choose to live so . . so .. crudely?
Some of the simplest of HICKS appear to raise, store and consume their own food – personally. They are so unsophisticated that they don’t understand that grocery stores are the ultimate source of all vegetables, meat and meat products. The clods probably don’t even use precooked foods or microwave ovens, and therefore must wait minutes (sometimes longer, even hours) for their food (probably eaten from unmatched china with improperly placed and aligned stainless steel or plastic silverware).
The very worst of the breed will actually KILL animals and eat their flesh <oh, barf>. How could the barbarians do that to Bambi, the Three Little Pigs, Chicken Little, and the Cow that jumped over the Moon? Were their parents illiterate and therefore unable to read them nursery rhymes when they were children – thereby crippling their moral development as refined adults?
Most of the bums don’t work. Everyone knows that every worthy person must have a job unless they are independently wealthy. The perennially unemployed HICKS try to eek out a meager existence on their grubby little “homesteads” (a scrap of land and a hovel, both probably dishonestly acquired or deeply in hock).
Many of the self-proclaimed "homesteaders" claim that they don’t collect welfare, but we all know better than that. They must be crooking the system somehow. Of course they collect welfare, just as sophisticates do when they lose their job or lose their health from stress.
The worst thing that can happen to a dignified sophisticate who finally acquires enough money, status and leisure is to buy some rural property to live on, build a prestige home (preferably three to five thousand square feet for each person in residence), manicure the lawns – then realize that the people who have been living on adjoining property, perhaps for generations, are HICKS.
The only thing the obviously wronged McMansion owner can do in a case like that is to become politically active, suck up to the necessary politicians or buy their influence, and get some laws passed that keep HICKS and their unsightly property away from proper sophisticates who realize that grass is to be mowed and that plants are for beauty, not consumption. Complaining to bureaucrats about the smell of livestock <ugh> and fertilizer <puke> in formerly rural areas is a good way to start improving the community. Inventing hypothetical "threats" and "dangers" furthers the cause.
As more sophisticates move into the area and build fine residences, taxes increase until the HICKS eventually must sell out to their more successful and superior neighbors (hahahahahaha). That gets rid of the bums – at least from the immediate area.
Once the HICKS are forced to move far enough away, sophisticates can enjoy their rural property without having to look at disgusting rural activities. Of course, as the number of sophisticates increases there is greater and greater need for suburbs and McMansionvilles – so eventually the HICKS must be displaced even further from “civilization”. There is historical precedent for such action in the treatment of Native Americans by the more successful, righteous and noble people of European decent.
It has been suggested that HICKS are genetically inferior to the more superior and worthy members of society. However, there is little scientific evidence to indicate that such traits are heridetary. To explain why hickish tendencies appear to run in families, many sociologists attribute it to deviant behavior learned from ancestors. A few generations back America was largely Hicksville, excepting a few cosmopolitan urban centers with their superior occupants. Fortunately that disgusting era is past, and with the influence of Mass Television most citizens have become at least faux sophisticated and far removed from their disgusting ancestral past.
As I completed this bit of satire (and it is satire even though it might be regarded otherwise by some), I realize that the people I have chosen for friends throughout life have been simple, natural and lacking in urban refinement – HICKS. I simply identified them as the REAL PEOPLE as opposed to “plastic people” who measure their success and sophistication by prevailing urban, suburban, corporate, and entertainment criteria.
The Real People I know define success in terms other than money, possessions and power – and live by their terms – and don’t ask the government to solve their personal problems.
;-) ;-) ;-) ;-)
Merriam Webster defines Hick as: an unsophisticated provincial person – and defines unsophisticated as “not worldly wise; simple, straightforward or natural” – and defines provincial as “a person of local or restricted interests or outlook or a person lacking urban polish or refinement”
That pretty well identifies our resident HICKS – simple, natural and lacking in urban refinement <ugh>.
The more urbane and sophisticated members of our population do not care to associate with HICKS because such people might live in shacks (anything less than a McMansion), and live out in the sticks (outside the urban and suburban areas). They no doubt drive old junk cars on dirt roads and don’t have sidewalks and shopping malls. Isn’t it the height of ridiculous that people would choose to live so . . so .. crudely?
Some of the simplest of HICKS appear to raise, store and consume their own food – personally. They are so unsophisticated that they don’t understand that grocery stores are the ultimate source of all vegetables, meat and meat products. The clods probably don’t even use precooked foods or microwave ovens, and therefore must wait minutes (sometimes longer, even hours) for their food (probably eaten from unmatched china with improperly placed and aligned stainless steel or plastic silverware).
The very worst of the breed will actually KILL animals and eat their flesh <oh, barf>. How could the barbarians do that to Bambi, the Three Little Pigs, Chicken Little, and the Cow that jumped over the Moon? Were their parents illiterate and therefore unable to read them nursery rhymes when they were children – thereby crippling their moral development as refined adults?
Most of the bums don’t work. Everyone knows that every worthy person must have a job unless they are independently wealthy. The perennially unemployed HICKS try to eek out a meager existence on their grubby little “homesteads” (a scrap of land and a hovel, both probably dishonestly acquired or deeply in hock).
Many of the self-proclaimed "homesteaders" claim that they don’t collect welfare, but we all know better than that. They must be crooking the system somehow. Of course they collect welfare, just as sophisticates do when they lose their job or lose their health from stress.
The worst thing that can happen to a dignified sophisticate who finally acquires enough money, status and leisure is to buy some rural property to live on, build a prestige home (preferably three to five thousand square feet for each person in residence), manicure the lawns – then realize that the people who have been living on adjoining property, perhaps for generations, are HICKS.
The only thing the obviously wronged McMansion owner can do in a case like that is to become politically active, suck up to the necessary politicians or buy their influence, and get some laws passed that keep HICKS and their unsightly property away from proper sophisticates who realize that grass is to be mowed and that plants are for beauty, not consumption. Complaining to bureaucrats about the smell of livestock <ugh> and fertilizer <puke> in formerly rural areas is a good way to start improving the community. Inventing hypothetical "threats" and "dangers" furthers the cause.
As more sophisticates move into the area and build fine residences, taxes increase until the HICKS eventually must sell out to their more successful and superior neighbors (hahahahahaha). That gets rid of the bums – at least from the immediate area.
Once the HICKS are forced to move far enough away, sophisticates can enjoy their rural property without having to look at disgusting rural activities. Of course, as the number of sophisticates increases there is greater and greater need for suburbs and McMansionvilles – so eventually the HICKS must be displaced even further from “civilization”. There is historical precedent for such action in the treatment of Native Americans by the more successful, righteous and noble people of European decent.
It has been suggested that HICKS are genetically inferior to the more superior and worthy members of society. However, there is little scientific evidence to indicate that such traits are heridetary. To explain why hickish tendencies appear to run in families, many sociologists attribute it to deviant behavior learned from ancestors. A few generations back America was largely Hicksville, excepting a few cosmopolitan urban centers with their superior occupants. Fortunately that disgusting era is past, and with the influence of Mass Television most citizens have become at least faux sophisticated and far removed from their disgusting ancestral past.
As I completed this bit of satire (and it is satire even though it might be regarded otherwise by some), I realize that the people I have chosen for friends throughout life have been simple, natural and lacking in urban refinement – HICKS. I simply identified them as the REAL PEOPLE as opposed to “plastic people” who measure their success and sophistication by prevailing urban, suburban, corporate, and entertainment criteria.
The Real People I know define success in terms other than money, possessions and power – and live by their terms – and don’t ask the government to solve their personal problems.
;-) ;-) ;-) ;-)
