A major research institution has just announced the discovery of
the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been
named "Governmentium". Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant
neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an
Atomic mass of 311.
These 311 particles are held together by forces called morons,
which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called
peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can
be detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
contact.
A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over
4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not
decay, but, instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the
Assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time,
since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons,
forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some
scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a
certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred
to as "Critical Morass". When catalyzed with money Governmentium becomes
Administratium, an element which radiates just as much energy,
since it has 1/2 as many peons but twice as many morons.
the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been
named "Governmentium". Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant
neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an
Atomic mass of 311.
These 311 particles are held together by forces called morons,
which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called
peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can
be detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
contact.
A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over
4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not
decay, but, instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the
Assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time,
since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons,
forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some
scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a
certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred
to as "Critical Morass". When catalyzed with money Governmentium becomes
Administratium, an element which radiates just as much energy,
since it has 1/2 as many peons but twice as many morons.
