alexfarms
Well-known member
Granpa got a notice from the IRS that he was going to be audited.
The IRS auditor wasn't surprised when granpa showed up at his office with his attorney.
The auditor told Granpa that the IRS couldn't believe that he could have so little income when he was living such a wealthy lifestyle.
Granpa told the auditor "...I have a lot of money because I am a very good gambler".
The auditor looked at Granpa and shook his head in disbelief.
Granpa said "let me give you an example".
The auditor thought to himself-- what can it hurt to let him try to show me?
Granpa says "I bet you $1000. I can bite my left eye with my teeth".
The auditor says "that is ridiculous, no one can do that!! I'll take your bet."
So Granpa pulls out his glass eye and puts it between his teeth and bites as the auditor looks on in disbelief.
Then Granpa says "I bet you $2000. I can bite the other eye with my teeth."
The auditor says "Well, I know you aren't blind so there is no way you can do that. I'll take your bet."
Granpa pulls out his false teeth and puts them up and bites his other eye.
Now the auditor is really feeling stupid. He has sat here and lost $3000 to this old man and Granpa's lawyer has been here to witness.
So, knowing the auditor feels bad, Granpa says "I'll go double or nothing with you. I'll stand on one side of your desk and pee into the waste basket on the opposite side of your desk with out getting one drop of pee anywhere but into that waste basket. If I do it you owe me $6000, if not you owe me nothing."
The auditor figures there is no way this old man can possibly do that, so he says "I'll take your bet. Double or nothing."
So Granpa gets on the opposite side of the desk as the waste basket and he gets all ready and starts peeing and all of the pee goes all over the auditor's desk and not one drop goes into the waste basket!
The auditor is just so happy. Granpa couldn't do it, so now he doesn't have to worry about paying this old man $6000.
Then the auditor notices Granpa's lawyer is holding his head in his hands and is just heartbroken. The auditor says to Granpa's lawyer "What is wrong with you, why are you so upset?"
Granpa's lawyer looks up at the auditor and says "before Granpa and I came in here today, Granpa bet me $25,000. that he could come into your office and pee all over your desk and you would be happy about it!"
The audit was over.
The IRS auditor wasn't surprised when granpa showed up at his office with his attorney.
The auditor told Granpa that the IRS couldn't believe that he could have so little income when he was living such a wealthy lifestyle.
Granpa told the auditor "...I have a lot of money because I am a very good gambler".
The auditor looked at Granpa and shook his head in disbelief.
Granpa said "let me give you an example".
The auditor thought to himself-- what can it hurt to let him try to show me?
Granpa says "I bet you $1000. I can bite my left eye with my teeth".
The auditor says "that is ridiculous, no one can do that!! I'll take your bet."
So Granpa pulls out his glass eye and puts it between his teeth and bites as the auditor looks on in disbelief.
Then Granpa says "I bet you $2000. I can bite the other eye with my teeth."
The auditor says "Well, I know you aren't blind so there is no way you can do that. I'll take your bet."
Granpa pulls out his false teeth and puts them up and bites his other eye.
Now the auditor is really feeling stupid. He has sat here and lost $3000 to this old man and Granpa's lawyer has been here to witness.
So, knowing the auditor feels bad, Granpa says "I'll go double or nothing with you. I'll stand on one side of your desk and pee into the waste basket on the opposite side of your desk with out getting one drop of pee anywhere but into that waste basket. If I do it you owe me $6000, if not you owe me nothing."
The auditor figures there is no way this old man can possibly do that, so he says "I'll take your bet. Double or nothing."
So Granpa gets on the opposite side of the desk as the waste basket and he gets all ready and starts peeing and all of the pee goes all over the auditor's desk and not one drop goes into the waste basket!
The auditor is just so happy. Granpa couldn't do it, so now he doesn't have to worry about paying this old man $6000.
Then the auditor notices Granpa's lawyer is holding his head in his hands and is just heartbroken. The auditor says to Granpa's lawyer "What is wrong with you, why are you so upset?"
Granpa's lawyer looks up at the auditor and says "before Granpa and I came in here today, Granpa bet me $25,000. that he could come into your office and pee all over your desk and you would be happy about it!"
The audit was over.
