Ever Notice?

[MikeC]

That the amount of milk a calf is getting while sucking is directly proportional to how fast his tail is wagging?

 

[ALACOWMAN]

now mike you got too much time on your hands :lol: but its a good sign for me too see the tail wagging on a new one

 

[dun]

I've wondered how big a calf would really get if all of the milk it gets on it's face/head would have gotten in it's mouth

dun

 

[DOC HARRIS]

It is obvious to me that ALL of you hve WA-a-a-ay too much time on your hands now that the first cutting is finished and the calves are almost all here! I am afraid that you are looking at the problem from the 'outside in' rather than from the 'inside out'!

It is genetypically and phenotypically obvious that the consumption of milk by a calf is in direct proportion (NOT an indirect ratio to the rapidity and "clockwise" rotational revolution of the calve's posterior appendage inasmuch as the pre-weaning interior biological pump acts as a vacuum - thereby causing the atmospheric pressure on the dam's udder to attempt to fill the void which inherently exists in the calf's as yet not-entirely-developed rumen - and resulting in the dams milk being passed from the udder- through the teats - into the calf's "milk stomach" thereby satisfying the hunger impulses, the purpose of which is to encourage the calf to consume nutrition. In short - the faster the tail rotates, the more milk goes down the gullet of the calf, and the quicker the cow is relieved of the pressure being created by her production of milk and storing it in her udder for later dispersal!

Any further questions?

DOC HARRIS

 

[MikeC]

You are too much Doc. Now I'm smiling on the "Inside"! ;-)

 

[ALACOWMAN]

It is obvious to me that ALL of you hve WA-a-a-ay too much time on your hands now that the first cutting is finished and the calves are almost all here! I am afraid that you are looking at the problem from the 'outside in' rather than from the 'inside out'!

It is genetypically and phenotypically obvious that the consumption of milk by a calf is in direct proportion (NOT an indirect ratio to the rapidity and "clockwise" rotational revolution of the calve's posterior appendage inasmuch as the pre-weaning interior biological pump acts as a vacuum - thereby causing the atmospheric pressure on the dam's udder to attempt to fill the void which inherently exists in the calf's as yet not-entirely-developed rumen - and resulting in the dams milk being passed from the udder- through the teats - into the calf's "milk stomach" thereby satisfying the hunger impulses, the purpose of which is to encourage the calf to consume nutrition. In short - the faster the tail rotates, the more milk goes down the gullet of the calf, and the quicker the cow is relieved of the pressure being created by her production of milk and storing it in her udder for later dispersal!

Any further questions?

DOC HARRIS

a tad more info than a feller needs doc. someone ask you how too fix a car you tell them how too build the factory ;-)

 

[Ryan]

It is obvious to me that ALL of you hve WA-a-a-ay too much time on your hands now that the first cutting is finished and the calves are almost all here! I am afraid that you are looking at the problem from the 'outside in' rather than from the 'inside out'!

It is genetypically and phenotypically obvious that the consumption of milk by a calf is in direct proportion (NOT an indirect ratio to the rapidity and "clockwise" rotational revolution of the calve's posterior appendage inasmuch as the pre-weaning interior biological pump acts as a vacuum - thereby causing the atmospheric pressure on the dam's udder to attempt to fill the void which inherently exists in the calf's as yet not-entirely-developed rumen - and resulting in the dams milk being passed from the udder- through the teats - into the calf's "milk stomach" thereby satisfying the hunger impulses, the purpose of which is to encourage the calf to consume nutrition. In short - the faster the tail rotates, the more milk goes down the gullet of the calf, and the quicker the cow is relieved of the pressure being created by her production of milk and storing it in her udder for later dispersal!

Any further questions?

DOC HARRIS

How does this relate to the milk in the "milk stomach" versus milk on the face ratio? Does the increase in the posterior appendage's speed decrease the balance of the calf, or the accuracy at which it acquires the milk?

Ryan

 

[jnowack]

How does this relate to the milk in the "milk stomach" versus milk on the face ratio? Does the increase in the posterior appendage's speed decrease the balance of the calf, or the accuracy at which it acquires the milk?

Ryan

I always thought the milk on the face was a snack for later on.

 

[rkm]

DOC, did you ever speak simple English. You sure ain't no Hill Billy.

 

[rattler]

Dang! Doc your good.

 

[Chris H]

Any further questions?

DOC HARRIS

Yes, do the tails rotate in the opposite direction in the southern hemisphere than they rotate in the northern hemisphere?

 

[Hill Creek Farm]

I've wondered how big a calf would really get if all of the milk it gets on it's face/head would have gotten in it's mouth

dun

I agree with you Dun on that one. :cboy:

 

[Hill Creek Farm]

Mike, you definitely have to much time on your hands. :cboy:

 

[msscamp]

It is obvious to me that ALL of you hve WA-a-a-ay too much time on your hands now that the first cutting is finished and the calves are almost all here! I am afraid that you are looking at the problem from the 'outside in' rather than from the 'inside out'!

It is genetypically and phenotypically obvious that the consumption of milk by a calf is in direct proportion (NOT an indirect ratio to the rapidity and "clockwise" rotational revolution of the calve's posterior appendage inasmuch as the pre-weaning interior biological pump acts as a vacuum - thereby causing the atmospheric pressure on the dam's udder to attempt to fill the void which inherently exists in the calf's as yet not-entirely-developed rumen - and resulting in the dams milk being passed from the udder- through the teats - into the calf's "milk stomach" thereby satisfying the hunger impulses, the purpose of which is to encourage the calf to consume nutrition. In short - the faster the tail rotates, the more milk goes down the gullet of the calf, and the quicker the cow is relieved of the pressure being created by her production of milk and storing it in her udder for later dispersal!

Any further questions?

DOC HARRIS

Doc, you're killing me - you're just killing me!

 

[DOC HARRIS]

Yes, do the tails rotate in the opposite direction in the southern hemisphere than they rotate in the northern hemisphere?

Oh no, no, no! If "Reverse Cycling" should occur, the Ethereal Emanations resulting from the inverse Radon isotope destruction would inadvertently create a phenomena universally known as "Restorative Indemnification Meolc Restitution Syndrome" which would adversely affect the "Milk Stomach" of the new Bovine Progeny, thereby causing a reversing effect and ultimately creating a 'Super-Pressurized' milk flow - - transuding the injested milk by the calf back into the cow's udder and thence through her interstitial cells, eventually causing the dam to become lighter than air (somewhat similar to a dirigible) and contracting an odd-appearing condition known as "FMP" (Floating Mama Peculiarity). This apparition has been known to cause chaos in the Upper Chambers of Academia resulting in extreme measures being activated in the Legal offices and Lower Courts of the Land for the purpose of obviating any further continuation of this practice. In the meantime - the poor calf is starving to death! I recommend that all children under the age of 3 be locked away to prevent their viewing this frightening occurance and preclude the psychological damage to their little Ids! An almost guaranteed etiological cerebellar contusion would transpire! And we certainly can't allow THAT to happen!

In summary, I would say that the Northern Hemisphere NOR Southern Hemisphere has anything at all to do with early calf liquid nutrition acquisition.

Let 'em eat "cake"!

DOC HARRIS

 

[Chris H]

Yes, do the tails rotate in the opposite direction in the southern hemisphere than they rotate in the northern hemisphere?

Oh no, no, no! If "Reverse Cycling" should occur, the Ethereal Emanations resulting from the inverse Radon isotope destruction would inadvertently create a phenomena universally known as "Restorative Indemnification Meolc Restitution Syndrome" which would adversely affect the "Milk Stomach" of the new Bovine Progeny, thereby causing a reversing effect and ultimately creating a 'Super-Pressurized' milk flow - - transuding the injested milk by the calf back into the cow's udder and thence through her interstitial cells, eventually causing the dam to become lighter than air (somewhat similar to a dirigible) and contracting an odd-appearing condition known as "FMP" (Floating Mama Peculiarity). This apparition has been known to cause chaos in the Upper Chambers of Academia resulting in extreme measures being activated in the Legal offices and Lower Courts of the Land for the purpose of obviating any further continuation of this practice. In the meantime - the poor calf is starving to death! I recommend that all children under the age of 3 be locked away to prevent their viewing this frightening occurance and preclude the psychological damage to their little Ids! An almost guaranteed etiological cerebellar contusion would transpire! And we certainly can't allow THAT to happen!

In summary, I would say that the Northern Hemisphere NOR Southern Hemisphere has anything at all to do with early calf liquid nutrition acquisition.

Let 'em eat "cake"!

DOC HARRIS

haha, bet you could give an explanation on how brown cows give chocolate milk!

 

[MikeC]

Doc, I must disagree with you on one point. :shock:

I think the explanation of the tail wagging while sucking is much, much simpler than you have detailed to us.

I simply think the tail wagging creates a gyroscopic effect that keeps the calf from falling down while sucking with his eyes closed. :lol: Thus, the more milk that is traveling down the esophagus, the faster the tail must wag to counter balance the extra weight of the milk on his/her front feet.

Add to that the constant swallowing which upsets the inner ear and throws the natural balancing effect out of synchronization.

Does my theory merit a peer review? :lol: :lol:

 

[Mango1]

OH MY GOODNESS!! This is my first post, I am brand new to this board and this is what I find!! :lol: This is going to be a lot of fun and most very educatiional!

 

[ALACOWMAN]

I know with my heavy milking simbrah momas every time i walk by one while a calf is nursing the wind from the tails blows my hat off my head

 

[MikeC]

I know with my heavy milking simbrah momas every time i walk by one while a calf is nursing the wind from the tails blows my hat off my head

You must buy yourself a hat that fits, ACM, and while your at it you might buy yourself a pair of taller boots! It's getting deep! :lol: