Choosing the Best Cattle Breed - A Quantitative Approach

[Jogeephus]

I'm sure many of you have heard of the Helsinky Institute's research on everything from pain medication to organic cold remedies as seen on television but I don't think many are aware of their research in the cattle industry. Recently they just came out with a quantitative approach to choosing the best cattle breed that I thought might end the age old debate over the BEST BREED. Anyhow, here is their research. (Hoss, you may want to get your calculator for this un)

This math test will predict the best breed for your situation.
Try it without looking at the answers it really does work

Pick a number from 1-9
now multiply it by 3
then add 3
now multiply by 3 again

you'll get your answer by adding the 2 digits together to find the best breed for your operation.

1 Black Angus
2 Red Angus
3 Hereford
4 Charolais
5 Longhorn
6 Beefmaster
7 Simmental
8 Murray Grey
9 Imbalancer Plus
10 Limousin
11 Goats
12 Pygmy Goats
13 Shorthorn

So there you have it. Irrefutable proof.

 

[backhoeboogie]

63 equals 9. What in the hades is that? A new name for my brangus gals?

 

[Keren]

I got 9 - imbalancer plus

WTF is that?

 

[Keren]

oh you cheeky bugger

 

[aussie_cowgirl]

Should have conveniently placed your imbalancer website address on the bottom there.

 

[3waycross]

Have you trademarked the name CIP. I am sure this new Certified Imbalancer Plus is going to be all the rage by this time next year.

 

[KNERSIE]

Since my freemartin heifer helped develop the breed I'll recommend myself for treasurer of the IIbPA (International Imbalancer Plus Association)

 

[3waycross]

Since my freemartin heifer helped develop the breed I'll recommend myself for treasurer of the IIbPA (International Imbalancer Plus Association)

I suggest ya'll hire our new member "angusprguy" for all of your Advertising. He has already made a big splash here on CT. with his Angus report, and since Angus has already been promoted to death he will most likely have a lot of extra time on his hands to devote to the new "BRAND"

 

[HOSS]

63 equals 9. What in the hades is that? A new name for my brangus gals?

Yep.....I had 63 = 9 or Imbalancer Plus also. I've seen these rascals....they are all that and a pack of crackers. If only Jo would turn loose of a few top heifers.

 

[KNERSIE]

63 equals 9. What in the hades is that? A new name for my brangus gals?

Yep.....I had 63 = 9 or Imbalancer Plus also. I've seen these rascals....they are all that and a pack of crackers. If only Jo would turn loose of a few top heifers.

Since the foundation female was a freemartin heifer from my herd, heifers are a prize item if you can find them.

 

[hillsdown]

Great thread Jo.. :lol: :clap: :clap:

 

[Jogeephus]

Should have conveniently placed your imbalancer website address on the bottom there.

I wanted to but our CFO and global sales strategist aka Knersie wouldn't let me. Myself, I'd be content to sell heifers after their seventh calf but NNNOOOO, not Knersie. He's a perfectionist it seems some girl named Natalie Suleman put the idea in his head of octo-heifers and he's not budging.

BTW - we are in discussion with Wendy's and their new "here's the beef" ad campaign. :cowboy:

 

[TexasBred]

Have you trademarked the name CIP. I am sure this new Certified Imbalancer Plus is going to be all the rage by this time next year.

I got a bunch of'em for sale. A few minutes ago they would have been papered brangus ladies. :cry2: :cry2:

 

[KNERSIE]

Have you trademarked the name CIP. I am sure this new Certified Imbalancer Plus is going to be all the rage by this time next year.

I got a bunch of'em for sale. A few minutes ago they would have been papered brangus ladies. :cry2: :cry2:

Not every calf sired by a Demetrius lookalike will qualify for the CIP program. A calf sired by a Demetrius lookalike out of a freemartin will qualify as an appendix Z animal. Carefully planned AI by either Demetrius or a direct descendant out of the base population might result in a calf that will qualify as an appendix Y animal only if the carcass quality is satisfactory. We don't believe in technology we don't understand and the only carcass data that means something to us is what is proved on the BBQ. Should the said animal pass its BBQ test you are free to breed it to whatever you like.

 

[DavisBeefmasters]

((1x3)+3)x3 = 18... resulting in 9
((2x3)+3)x3 = 27... resulting in 9
((3x3)+3)x3 = 36... resulting in 9
((4x3)+3)x3 = 45... resulting in 9
((5x3)+3)x3 = 54... resulting in 9
((6x3)+3)x3 = 63... resulting in 9
((7x3)+3)x3 = 72... resulting in 9
((8x3)+3)x3 = 81... resulting in 9
((9x3)+3)x3 = 90... resulting in 9

...I love equations that are rigged for whatever result you want...

 

[Jogeephus]

...I love equations that are rigged for whatever result you want...

Rigged!??! Surely you aren't implying that a cattleman would ever rig numbers! That's unheard of! This is why we generously wined and dined and payed the Helsinki Institute to do their own unbiased research. Geesh. Here we go again. We are offering the solution to the age old debate over the best cattle breed and there you go muddying the water. Instead of viewing it as rigged just view it for what it really means. The Imbalancer© is a success and fits each and every situation from Antartica to the lush slopes of the Eyjafjallajökull volcano in Iceland. If that's not proof enough consider this. One Imbalancer Octo-Heifer© can easily wean 4800 lbs before it becomes a cow. What other breed can say this? ;-) :cowboy:

 

[DavisBeefmasters]

One Imbalancer Octo-Heifer© can easily wean 4800 lbs before it becomes a cow. What other breed can say this? ;-) :cowboy:

:arrow: :cowboy: Just what is in them smokes? It must have you seeing a whole LOT of stuff in a new way!

We'll stick with #6 beefmasters thanks -- they work for us (we don't work for them).

 

[Jogeephus]

One Imbalancer Octo-Heifer© can easily wean 4800 lbs before it becomes a cow. What other breed can say this? ;-) :cowboy:

:arrow: :cowboy: Just what is in them smokes? It must have you seeing a whole LOT of stuff in a new way!

We'll stick with #6 beefmasters thanks -- they work for us (we don't work for them).

:lol2: :lol2: You must have missed the third calf heifer post someone made while back. What you reckon a 3 calf beefmaster heifer could wean? ;-) :lol2:

 

[RD-Sam]

I've been had! :dunce: