Children and animal death

[CG1]

How did you all deal or how do you deal with your kids or grandkids when it comes to animals dying on the farm? Its a debate at our house. My husband thinks i show my son too much. I am too honest with him. Our family dog is about to die any day now. He's watched me bury quiet a few dead animals this year. But he's only 2. I just thought the more honest with him about it I am the better but my husband thinks we have to have a better story for why the dog died. Personally id like to just tell him the dog died.

 

[Bigfoot]

First pet animal we ever lost, I told them it went to a petting zoo. I regretted that a long time. Should have been honest with them.

 

[Bright Raven]

I think you should be pragmatic. No petting zoo, etc. Our society already adheres to too many primitive myths about the nature of things. Having said that, when I was living in Montana, the porcupines were killing all my yard trees. One night I looked out and saw one in the act of committing the crime. I went out with a 22 handgun and shot it. When I got back in the house, my son was upset. He related to me that he often watched them come into the yard and wander about. He liked them and said they were more entertaining than the trees. So we struck a deal. I would NOT kill them but instead I could catch and relocate them. They are easy to catch.

 

[A.J.]

Sorry to hear about your pup. I'm in agreement with you on the subject.
I guess it depends on the individual child, but we started out telling and showing our son about this at an early age. He's 4 now, and has helped me bury several pets, calves, goat kids, etc that have died, and he's dealt with it really well. I just try to explain to him it's part of life and it's ok to be sad and miss them. We have prayed over several that were sick or injured, and he's seen some make it, and some not. We're teaching him to give them the best care possible while you have them, and sometimes it's not meant to be, and they don't make it. This is one of the many good lessons kids can learn on a farm at an early age.

 

[herofan]

I was always honest, and I recall the same when I was a kid. I thinks lot of it has to do with the approach. Sometimes parents are extremely dramatic toward their kids with situations, which in turn makes it harder on the children.

I was that way with everything. I hear some today say that there is an age that is too young to go to the funeral home, for example. I don't recall that. I went regardless of age, and as Woodrow Call said, "It ain't hurt me none."

 

[dieselbeef]

dying is part of living..tell em the truth..my son was watching cows get butchered at 10..he has no illuisions of where food comes from..or that people and animals die...my wife/his mother died when he was 9...don't lie to him...itll make him a puss when he gets older

 

[CG1]

I think you should be pragmatic. No petting zoo, etc. Our society already adheres to too many primitive myths about the nature of things. Having said that, when I was living in Montana, the porcupines were killing all my yard trees. One night I looked out and saw one in the act of committing the crime. I went out with a 22 handgun and shot it. When I got back in the house, my son was upset. He related to me that he often watched them come into the yard and wander about. He liked them and said they were more entertaining than the trees. So we struck a deal. I would NOT kill them but instead I could catch and relocate them. They are easy to catch.

I see a lot of these deals in my future. Can't tell you the number of fish I've let go this year because of those eyes looking up at me :shock:

 

[CG1]

Sorry to hear about your pup. I'm in agreement with you on the subject.
I guess it depends on the individual child, but we started out telling and showing our son about this at an early age. He's 4 now, and has helped me bury several pets, calves, goat kids, etc that have died, and he's dealt with it really well. I just try to explain to him it's part of life and it's ok to be sad and miss them. We have prayed over several that were sick or injured, and he's seen some make it, and some not. We're teaching him to give them the best care possible while you have them, and sometimes it's not meant to be, and they don't make it. This is one of the many good lessons kids can learn on a farm at an early age.

Thank you...old dog that is battling kidney cancer. It's hard to watch. I agree with you, it is a good lesson that comes from a farm. They will deal with death and loss their entire lives, we all do.

 

[Bestoutwest]

We have always told our son. Lost some chickens that were his, all the cattle we butchered, his pet rabbit, a calf, told him they all died. But he's older than 2. 2 is a bit young to comprehend things. One of the best pieces of advice I've ever gotten was that when little, little kids ask a question they just want an answer. It's adults that tend to get too deep into it. Just remember that, and it makes things easier.

 

[Ryder]

Tell the kid the truth.
Lying to the kid is not going to make the world a better place.

 

[bird dog]

Tell the truth to the child no matter what age. Bury the animal with the child. Be sad with the child. Get over it with the child. Find a new dog with the child.

Its a lot more in your face when you have farm animals, so get them used to it early.

 

[wbvs58]

The truth is the safest, remember they go to school and their mates soon put them straight. I remember some people brought their cockatoo for me to put down and told their kids some fancifull story about how we were looking after it. My daughter Kerri saw me do it as she often did and when the conversation came up at school she told them "no, it went into a black plastic bag" she was very honest and factual with things. I got into big $hit for letting Kerri see what happened and telling the people's kids. My kids always had their noses over the edge of the table and new that the deaduns were slid into a black plastic bag. They even new when to duck so that they didn't get urine flicked onto them from the tail as it flipped over.

Ken

 

[littletom]

I have two young daughters. My wife is a vet and we operate a medium size farm. Good bit of dyeing going on around here, and all the dead stuff i drag in and whats on the walls, and the outdoor channel every night. I see honesty as our only option. Your kids you all need to agree on it.

 

[haase]

I think you're first choice was correct, be honest about it, it's part of life, 2 years old is young, no sense in sugar coating it or making deals, when they grow up there prepared to deal with it the same way their parents tought them, the truth.

 

[herofan]

It seems there is always concern about exposing young children to things such as this, but does anyone know of anyone it harmed? Sure, they may have some downhearted moments at the time, but does anyone know an adult who says they are permanently scarred because their parents were honest about their dog dying when they were two. I do not.

 

[M.Magis]

Two years old is too young to understand what death is, but it makes no sense to lie about it. Eventually they need to understand, and being truthful when they're young will make it easier to understand as they get older.

 

[ohiosteve]

It's a tough one, but obviously honesty is best. Last winter my 5 year old niece had a dog that got ran over and killed. My Dad and her were talking about it and she asked "What happens when you die?" Obviously a very tough question we just sat silent for about a minute, then Dad, (her grandfather) calmly said, "Well Caroline, that's the million dollar question." I think that was a good answer.

 

[hillbilly beef man]

Be honest with them. They need to understand that death is a part of life, especially if they are going to have livestock. Our son lost his first dog when he was three. My wife and I were worried about how to handle it. We finally agreed to just tell him the truth. He cried for a little while, and then wanted to help me bury her. This was a good decision in the long run. At six now he understands that all of us are only here for a little while, and death is a natural part of life just like birth.

 

[Chevy]

What a wonderful question. We always just tell our children the truth and try to explain it to them. We had my brother's old pitbull we fostered....long story short it was his time to go to doggie heaven. of course you can't have a dog that disappears and the kids not want to know why. We had our share of died cows and chickens this year. Along with some bizarre things happening to people we know that died, our neighbor had a haybaler accident, my nieces dad was stuck by lightning.... we didn't go in details about that but did explain they past on. I'm like you I'd rather tell the truth than make up a lie or try to sugar coat it to sound better. Not that I'm heartless or anything. The children seen with the animals being sick we did try to help the best we could. With the chickens it was from another animal killing them.
What do ya'll say about that jolly rich white guy they call Santa?! where did this crazy madness even come from? I'd let a rich white guy buy me presents for Christmas that be a sugar daddy what the heck. So what is the really story behind the story here?!

 

[sstterry]

Are all of you telling me that my first dog did not go to live on another farm??????