Cemetery etiquette

[Bigfoot]

I may be a little jaded on this subject. My brother and I aren't care takers of the graveyard at church. It's not big enough for something like that. It's just a little country church with a cemetery. He and myself are the people to see if you need a plot, or have a question about an existing plot. I also have my kids pick up around it quit often. It's mowed by the same person that mows the church. It's not a big job, or a tough job by any means, but it does need done. Regurally we have to pick beer cans up that have been scattered by some fools. There is also a pretty handy turn around spot there, that nobody can seem to keep their tires on. I long ago came to the conclusion that if you are not at a cemetery to pay respect, then you really have no business there.
I was recently in a conversation with some one that had been taking pictures of head stones------Striclty because they struck her as creepy. They were old, and interesting. I'll give her that. It wasn't her family members, or mine either for that matter. She was dressed like she had gothic tendancies. It strikes me that some people can't respect anything. Just a vent. It may have not been out of line for her to take pictures. It just rubbed me wrong.

 

[skyhightree1]

Bigfoot the goth people here will camp in cemetaries and post with headstones. Here we have the hollywood cemetary in which is basically a tourism graveyard. There is some weird people out there and I am pretty strange too because I try not to walk on someones grave if I can help it.

 

[Bigfoot]

This person appeared to have been gothic when they were younger, but had grown up a little since then. I didn't know pics of head stones went with that culture.

 

[skyhightree1]

it seems as though they like weird stuff like that .. I don't know much about gothic stuff.

 

[Jogeephus]

I know someone who does charcoal tracings of headstones and collects them as she would art. Though its not for me, I do find some of them pretty interesting and as long as they treat the graveyard with respect I don't see a problem with it.

 

[greybeard]

I guess I'm of a different opinion here, especially regarding old headstones. I was at a funeral a few weeks ago, and after the graveside service, everyone else was standing around gabbing-again, so I wandered off an looked at the headstone inscriptions. It wasn't a large cemetery nor particularly old--most were born in the late 19th or early 20th century, but it was a very rural area just out of a very small town..population less than 500 for sure. Couldn't help but wonder, with the big 20th century migration away from farmin, just how many of the cemetery inhabitant's living descendants were still in the area. My own great grand parents were buried in a different cemetery about 20 miles away from this one, and I've only been by to "say hello" a couple of times. I know there's nothing down there but an empty shell of bones, but still, I don't think it hurts for even a complete stranger to come by and trace out an inscription.

When I take the long dirt nap, I'm not gonna mind if a stranger of a woman--goth or otherwise comes to visit and read what is written about me.
(and........I might just take a peek up her skirt too--just cuz I can :D

 

[Kingfisher]

As I was leaving Austin today I heard a snip on the radio about the city going to make it illegal for folks to "decorate" their kin graves....not enough information to really understand the complaint but seems like the decorations must blow off or deteriorate such thAt it causes some more work for the city.....now they have some torques widows to deal with. Keep Austin Weird baby! ;(

 

[MO_cows]

I don't see it as disrespectful to take photos of the gravestones and look at them as art. Shoot, the souls of the departed might have been pleased to be getting some attention.

Whenever I attend a burial, I always seem to walk around the cemetery to see the different styles of markers and look at the stories the inscriptions tell. Like, a double stone where one spouse died 30 years ago and the other one apparently still living. Then you see another couple who died within weeks of each other. And the sad little graves of children and babies. Again, it doesn't seem disrespectful to take an interest.

 

[Caustic Burno]

I seen a monument in a cemetery that has stuck with me for years, the inscription may not be exactly right but close.

It read.
Christian
Loving
Son
Husband
Father
Grandfather
Rancher

 

[inyati13]

Bigfoot, I mowed a cemetery at the Oakland Christian Church for years during the summer while I was going to college. I always tried to pick up my empty beer cans that I drank while on breaks. On ocasion I would miss one but I always found it with the lawn mower the next time I mowed.

When I was little, Mom would never let us walk on a grave. I had a hard time not doing that with a push mower. Now days it would be easy, you could get a riding mower.

 

[M5farm]

I took a picture several years ago of a headstone that said "tougher than a waffle house steak"

 

[Jogeephus]

Art, poetry and a testament of someone's life. Lots to be learned about the person and life. As long as there are people in the cemeteries that show respect it doesn't give room for the vandals and the litter bugs.

 

[TexasBred]

I enjoy visiting old secluded cemeteries. No particular reason other than to read headstones, date of birth, date of death, etc. Always amazes me on the really older ones you'll have ma/paw and two or three children that died at very young ages. Probably from illnesses that are easily treated these days. There will usually be one or two that for whatever reason are located off and away from all the others and you wonder why?? Wouldn't even think about doing anything harmful to anything in the place as I see them as holy places.

 

[M5farm]

I enjoy visiting old secluded cemeteries. No particular reason other than to read headstones, date of birth, date of death, etc. Always amazes me on the really older ones you'll have ma/paw and two or three children that died at very young ages. Probably from illnesses that are easily treated these days. There will usually be one or two that for whatever reason are located off and away from all the others and you wonder why?? Wouldn't even think about doing anything harmful to anything in the place as I see them as holy places.

I too enjoy old cemeteries. we have quite a few small ones in our area on private land from the 19th centuries.

 

[I luv herfrds]

Have had vandals hit some old cemeteries up here pushing over 100+ year old tomb stones. Does not happen often because it is a sure fire way to get people up in arms.
Years ago the people in charge of the cemetery here decided that all tombstones needed to be ground level, no more wrought iron fences, no grave site covers etc.
well word got out they just went ahead were pushing these tombstones down a coulee near the cemetery. Needless to say a lot of folks showed up armed to the teeth. No more tombstones were touched. It does come up once in awhile about changing the headstones to ground level and that gets folks fired up again. All we have to do is walk about 50 feet from where the in laws are buried to look down the coulee and see the fences and markers still laying there. Still makes my blood boil.

 

[Alan]

I enjoy visiting old secluded cemeteries. No particular reason other than to read headstones, date of birth, date of death, etc. Always amazes me on the really older ones you'll have ma/paw and two or three children that died at very young ages. Probably from illnesses that are easily treated these days. There will usually be one or two that for whatever reason are located off and away from all the others and you wonder why?? Wouldn't even think about doing anything harmful to anything in the place as I see them as holy places.

Same here, although some of the oldest gravesite out here only go back to the mid to late 1800's. But I know where I am and am always very respectful of what is below us .... and Greybeard my wife never wears a dress to a graveyard for that very reason. :lol:

 

[Jogeephus]

I treat them as sacred land too. Have three cemeteries on some land I look after and I keep the plots up and go out of my way not to disturb them. I built a road to one of them so we could keep an eye on it then a lady who was doing a genealogy study called me out of the blue asking if I knew where a certain grave site was. I met her and unlocked the gate and we drove to the plot. She was thrilled to find her ancestor's graves still being cared for by complete strangers. She asked if she could come back and do some more work and maintenance and I gave her an open invitation. I know it meant a lot to her but it also meant a lot to me that our trouble wasn't in vain.

 

[Ryder]

I like to visit cemeteries and read the stones. They would not have inscriptions other than for people to read.

Did have sort of a fright once. My wife and I happened to be passing a cemetery where a governor of many years past was laid to rest. Curiosity beckoned. So I parked outside the perimeter fence and we walked in. It was a very pretty cemetery with nice plants and trees. Very peaceful.

Then came a loud noise down the road that sounded like a bunch of liquored up cowboys on Saturday night. I could not figure it.
Then the noise source came into view. It was one black man making strange motions with his hands and talking in loud strange lingo. I knew something was not right. Lo and behold as he reached the gate he turned and came in. :shock:
I concluded that he was a crazy man and I became very uneasy. We were in a location far away from my car and he was between us and the car. My gun was in the car outside the cemetery. :hide:

He walked right by us and went over to a grave, lit a cigarette, and laid down on top of the grave and became quiet and peaceful.
I gladly vacated and left the cemetery to him.

 

[greybeard]

I've been in more than one old cemetery, where I noticed an awful lot of young kids (you can tell of course, by the Born vs Died dates) all dying within a 1-3 yr span. Influenza, cholera, smallpox type outbreaks.

 

[inyati13]

I've been in more than one old cemetery, where I noticed an awful lot of young kids (you can tell of course, by the Born vs Died dates) all dying within a 1-3 yr span. Influenza, cholera, smallpox type outbreaks.

Have seen the same thing here in KY.