aplusmnt
Well-known member
I think I will write a book entitled "Caustic Quotes and One Liners" I figure a few friends and family will buy it for the memories and then people like Plb and T&S and a few others will buy it to use in the out house 
Well here is a few of them saved since I been around. Please fill free to add any of your favorites to the list.
Chapter 1
· I was busier than a grasshopper in the henhouse
· I was as nevous as a long tail cat in a room full of rockin chairs
· Man needs to know that bad ass Kung Fu just to feel safe in that pasture
· you should have that fence along the road hotter that the hinges on the gates to Hel
· you have to get tighter than a crabs ass and thats waterproof to make it.
· thing works as slick as a cats gut
· Success always occurs in private and failure in full view your butt is hangin out the window
· You took an IQ test and the results were negative
· I bet you are a little bitty short fellow you sound like you ate ate up with Short Mans Syndrome that has been mad all there life
· come on boy cough up that cud show us some proof.
· Take an aspirin try to get your panties out of knot.
· the boy is confused as a baby in a topless bar
· We have to never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups
· most of you can't tell cow flop from wild honey
· WOW that was almost scary
· some day your Paul Bunyon mouth is going to overload your Mickey Mouse butt
· kinda hard to be scared by a boy running up and down the fence like a fiest dog barking to feel his butt hole wiggle.
· he can float like a butterfly and sting like a bee but regretable as it may be he is as smart as Muhamed Ali.
· Dang AppleButter that almost hurt my one feeling but thanks for not scaring me like plb
· opinons are just like buttholes everbody has one and they all stink.
· Need to put some miracle grow in that Herfs food and see if you can grow him into some real hamburger.
· Well on a lot of them blondes the drapes don't match the carpet
· It total amazes me how much cow flop can be spread
· A screech owl and a duck call would run most of you out of the county after dark.
· Well boys and girls it's colder here than a witch's teat in a brass bra we going Hog huntin tonite.
· I am more polite on this board, in person if you don't want to know how the cow ate the cabage don't ask.
· Fine as frogs hair
· By the way the dirt road is the county road
· You couldn't tell the difference in a Shanghai rooster from a Durham heifer
· seem to have your oars in the water
· wondering how long it would be before that night crawler baited hook hit the pond.
· guy that is as screwed up as a football bat
· not sure you know the difference between cow flop and wild honey.
· I was ten feet tall and bulletproof then.
· reason they call it the beginners board is it is a place you can come to for advice depending on the question or get your head pulled out of your butt by crusty old cattlemen.
· Hmm the old cull has the look vet bill 75 bucks 22 mag bullet priceless
· Only belligerent to queers, steers,liberals and phony people
· If it has hair I can get in a trailer
· we are going to have another Jed and Ellie May talk
· Everthing is great here, trappin hogs, killin rats, and learnig how to be a real cattlemen
· your learning hobby wantabee accounting
· I couldn't find anything that remedial for you in Cattle for dumbies.
· I am not the one with kindergarten cattle operation
· Question for naming a cow……Answer " Canidate for a bullet"
· you blow up like an explosion in a steel wool factory[/b]
Well here is a few of them saved since I been around. Please fill free to add any of your favorites to the list.
Chapter 1
· I was busier than a grasshopper in the henhouse
· I was as nevous as a long tail cat in a room full of rockin chairs
· Man needs to know that bad ass Kung Fu just to feel safe in that pasture
· you should have that fence along the road hotter that the hinges on the gates to Hel
· you have to get tighter than a crabs ass and thats waterproof to make it.
· thing works as slick as a cats gut
· Success always occurs in private and failure in full view your butt is hangin out the window
· You took an IQ test and the results were negative
· I bet you are a little bitty short fellow you sound like you ate ate up with Short Mans Syndrome that has been mad all there life
· come on boy cough up that cud show us some proof.
· Take an aspirin try to get your panties out of knot.
· the boy is confused as a baby in a topless bar
· We have to never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups
· most of you can't tell cow flop from wild honey
· WOW that was almost scary
· some day your Paul Bunyon mouth is going to overload your Mickey Mouse butt
· kinda hard to be scared by a boy running up and down the fence like a fiest dog barking to feel his butt hole wiggle.
· he can float like a butterfly and sting like a bee but regretable as it may be he is as smart as Muhamed Ali.
· Dang AppleButter that almost hurt my one feeling but thanks for not scaring me like plb
· opinons are just like buttholes everbody has one and they all stink.
· Need to put some miracle grow in that Herfs food and see if you can grow him into some real hamburger.
· Well on a lot of them blondes the drapes don't match the carpet
· It total amazes me how much cow flop can be spread
· A screech owl and a duck call would run most of you out of the county after dark.
· Well boys and girls it's colder here than a witch's teat in a brass bra we going Hog huntin tonite.
· I am more polite on this board, in person if you don't want to know how the cow ate the cabage don't ask.
· Fine as frogs hair
· By the way the dirt road is the county road
· You couldn't tell the difference in a Shanghai rooster from a Durham heifer
· seem to have your oars in the water
· wondering how long it would be before that night crawler baited hook hit the pond.
· guy that is as screwed up as a football bat
· not sure you know the difference between cow flop and wild honey.
· I was ten feet tall and bulletproof then.
· reason they call it the beginners board is it is a place you can come to for advice depending on the question or get your head pulled out of your butt by crusty old cattlemen.
· Hmm the old cull has the look vet bill 75 bucks 22 mag bullet priceless
· Only belligerent to queers, steers,liberals and phony people
· If it has hair I can get in a trailer
· we are going to have another Jed and Ellie May talk
· Everthing is great here, trappin hogs, killin rats, and learnig how to be a real cattlemen
· your learning hobby wantabee accounting
· I couldn't find anything that remedial for you in Cattle for dumbies.
· I am not the one with kindergarten cattle operation
· Question for naming a cow……Answer " Canidate for a bullet"
· you blow up like an explosion in a steel wool factory[/b]
