Catching your spouse...

[alisonb]

A friend of mine called me today and asked if we could meet for coffee, I was in town so said sure.
Ordered our coffee and I could see she was on edge so told her to spit it out.

It would seem that her husband is having an affair......with his best friend of male gender :shock: :shock: . She is devastated and wants out of the marriage. Was not sure what to advise her but told her to get proof before she makes any moves. Financial implications huge.

Told her to install a camera....have I been watching too many movies?

 

[J&D Cattle]

As my little girl would say, "awkward". With huge implications I would get proof too. He might admit it though, never know about people.

 

[melking]

Proof/Documentation is the absolute key to winning this battle. It is not about the gender issue it is about the braking of the marriage contract. Everything she can get in advance of spilling the "beans" will work in her favor.

 

[Alan]

You said he was having an affair with "his" best friend, did you mean "her" best friend, if not is his best friend a he or a she?

The main reason I ask if his best friend is a she it should be easy to catch and see the signs of an affair. If it's her best friend than there are two people close to her who should be feeling guilty and even easier to see the signs of and catch them.

If his best friend is a he, :shock: no clue or advice. I've been acquainted with two men throughout my life who had their respective wife(s) leave them for a girlfriend. in both cases it hit them out of left field, they had no clue .... They said.

As some here know, my first wife had an affair and left me and the kids. In hindsight the signs and clues were right there, all I had to do was open my eyes ..... Which I can see now took me too long to do. My advice is to tell her to open her eyes, read the signs correctly and do what is necessary. Get out or/and seek a GOOD lawyers advice

 

[Limomike]

A friend of mine called me today and asked if we could meet for coffee, I was in town so said sure.
Ordered our coffee and I could see she was on edge so told her to spit it out.

It would seem that her husband is having an affair......with his best friend of male gender :shock: :shock: . She is devastated and wants out of the marriage. Was not sure what to advise her but told her to get proof before she makes any moves. Financial implications huge.

Told her to install a camera....have I been watching too many movies?

That might be a movie she doesnt want to watch....but almost has to.

 

[greybeard]

You said he was having an affair with "his" best friend, did you mean "her" best friend, if not is his best friend a he or a she?

Alan, I read it to understand he, has gone to the other side--or to the "same side" if ya get that:
"with his best friend of male gender"

(is this where I'm 'sposed to say "not there's anything wrong with that." )

Alisonb, a relative of mine had the same thing happen. The jilted wife never really recovered from the shock and self imposed guilt and humiliation, and the discovery happened 20+ years ago..
Be careful--send her nothing in email or other social media regarding this-- you'd be surprised how sneaky cheating spouses can be in reading their opposite's private correspondence.

 

[john250]

A friend of mine called me today and asked if we could meet for coffee, I was in town so said sure.
Ordered our coffee and I could see she was on edge so told her to spit it out.

It would seem that her husband is having an affair......with his best friend of male gender :shock: :shock: . She is devastated and wants out of the marriage. Was not sure what to advise her but told her to get proof before she makes any moves. Financial implications huge.

Told her to install a camera....have I been watching too many movies?

How do South African courts view this? To me it seems "alienation of affection" might be the proper legal course, if we are going to court.

 

[danl]

I know it is not PC, but my first response is YUCK...

 

[snake67]

Financial implications huge.

So are health issues - get tested!!

Bez

 

[ga.prime]

Told her to install a camera....have I been watching too many movies?

You haven't been watching enough movies. Tell her to ask him if he's fruity.

 

[Tim/South]

A relative of mine found out his wife was secretly seeing her best friend in a romantic way. She did not want word to get out that she had switched teams, neither did her family. He had a pretty simple divorce, was much more kind in dividing than I would have been.

 

[slick4591]

Sounds like all she has is probable cause at the moment. What she really needs is evidence.

 

[backhoeboogie]

Know a guy who got a video of his wife with another man.

They wound up in divorce court and she was taking all she could get, until she saw the video. "Oh no! He will kill me! You can have what you want just don't show that video in court..." Turns out the guy in the video was a second boyfriend and not the boyfriend in court with her.

 

[Kingfisher]

You can count on "him" getting docked at the sale barn....;(

 

[inyati13]

Alison, I think I will stay out of this one. I have aggravated enough people lately. I'll just worry about my heifer.

 

[Jogeephus]

Happened to a friend of mine. His wife switched teams and I truly believe it would have been easier on him had she run off with a guy.

Tell her its war. Take no prisoners. Get all the dirt you can. Get tested. Get retested. Lock the barn door. Convert to Islam and have him stoned.

 

[Alan]

Alison, I think I will stay out of this one. I have aggravated enough people lately. I'll just worry about my heifer.

Worry about your heifer! Do you think she's cheating on you! :shock: :lol:

 

[TexasBred]

Alison, I think I will stay out of this one. I have aggravated enough people lately. I'll just worry about my heifer.

Worry about your heifer! Do you think she's cheating on you! :shock: :lol:

Does she talk too?? :lol: :lol: Probably can't believe a word she says. :cowboy:

 

[Douglas]

In some states you can sue the lover for alienation of affection. In this civil suit you can use discovery process the find out a lot about their relationship. The threat of deposing the lover helps a lot in the divorce negotiations.

 

[inyati13]

In some states you can sue the lover for alienation of affection. In this civil suit you can use discovery process the find out a lot about their relationship. The threat of deposing the lover helps a lot in the divorce negotiations.

Ouch!!!