Cattle Rack Rancher
Well-known member
This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a
bad
day at work, think of this guy. Bob is a commercial saturation diver for
Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore
drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent
it
to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was
sponsoring
a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down
lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make
you
realize it's not so bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a
few
technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of
the
sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the
water is quite cool.
So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial
water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the
sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to
the
diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times
with
no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is
take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my
whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to
itch.
So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from
my
back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.
The
hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't
stick
to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I
scratched
what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into
the
crack of my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other
divers, was laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive.
I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin
my
chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing
nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running
down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my
butt
as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I
couldn't
poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse
it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my Job."
bad
day at work, think of this guy. Bob is a commercial saturation diver for
Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore
drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent
it
to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was
sponsoring
a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down
lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make
you
realize it's not so bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a
few
technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of
the
sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the
water is quite cool.
So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial
water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the
sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to
the
diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times
with
no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is
take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my
whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to
itch.
So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from
my
back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.
The
hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't
stick
to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I
scratched
what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into
the
crack of my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other
divers, was laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive.
I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin
my
chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing
nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running
down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my
butt
as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I
couldn't
poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse
it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my Job."
