Advanced education

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dun

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Summer Classes for Men at


THE
ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
By Friday, June 29th 2009

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM


Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
At 7:00 PM
Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined
Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14
The Stove/Oven-- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
 
Drats! I was really hoping they were going to offer a course about The Evolution of a Wash Rag. You see, I was captured by a certain Venetian years ago and was forced to attend most of these classes so I could be re-edumacated. But with poor memory and lack of an X chromosome I just cannot grasp the concept of why, when or how the Wash Rag evolved into something so glorious and holy that you cannot get it dirty. My grandmother - a Venetian - used old flower sacks as wash rags and she did not mind if you wiped your t-hiney or used it to check you oil. I think she was just proud you knew how to use one. I am perplexed by this policy change and really need to get some understanding of this cause I really do not want war with the Venetians - cause surely they will win. This seems to be a Catch 22 situation and maybe this is what in fact the Venetians ultimately intend cause they are a war-mongering sort that can never be satisfied.
 
We need to see a seminar on the meaning of "yes" and "sure you can" added to the agenda. So many times the word "yes" is a code word for how much trouble you are going to get into if you do something.

Perhaps we could call it sarcasm 101?
 
mabey another seminar on no and don't. :p

oh and one that lets them know tht you should turn off all lights and tvs before you leave the house.
 
Wouldn't it be easier to have classes for the woman before she marries, to teach her how a man acuatually will be when the rutting season is over and it is impossible to change him and the older he get the worst his habits, she will have to accept him as he is. Maybe that is the reason so many couples are not marrying anymore they just live togerther, she then kicks him out and gets another one until she gets tire of him, I think they have outsmarted us
 
cowboy43":1mmen7i2 said:
Wouldn't it be easier to have classes for the woman before she marries, to teach her how a man acuatually will be when the rutting season is over and it is impossible to change him and the older he get the worst his habits, she will have to accept him as he is. Maybe that is the reason so many couples are not marrying anymore they just live togerther, she then kicks him out and gets another one until she gets tire of him, I think they have outsmarted us

That goes back to the deal about a woman marries expecting her husband to chhange a man marries expecting his wife to never change.
 
I think I've said it before but why try to change him when you marry, as he may change into something you hate and not the man you fell in love with and married in the first place.????? if he leaves the toilet seat up then just shut it down, if he leaves his socks on the floor leave them there 'till the draw is empty, then he will have to pick them up or go and buy more or go bare footed, if he leaves the bath tub in a mess make him shower with the pigs/cows, he always seems to like peeing off of the porch so shouldn't leave the toilet seat up, or mind the shower outside. So you decided to marry an animal, and as we are always told you can't teach an old dog new tricks, so please Mum's when you have a son make sure he knows how to change a toilet roll, make his bed etc.etc then hopefully the next generation will know the etiquette we all strive for. :help:
 
chrisy":30bzf04z said:
I think I've said it before but why try to change him when you marry, as he may change into something you hate and not the man you fell in love with and married in the first place.????? if he leaves the toilet seat up then just shut it down, if he leaves his socks on the floor leave them there 'till the draw is empty, then he will have to pick them up or go and buy more or go bare footed, if he leaves the bath tub in a mess make him shower with the pigs/cows, he always seems to like peeing off of the porch so shouldn't leave the toilet seat up, or mind the shower outside. So you decided to marry an animal, and as we are always told you can't teach an old dog new tricks, so please Mum's when you have a son make sure he knows how to change a toilet roll, make his bed etc.etc then hopefully the next generation will know the etiquette we all strive for. :help:

Under normal curcumstances, it is usually more efficient if a man (or woman) spends time on which their education or trade was received and to hire a personnel assistant thereby focusing on higher paying duties. For example, I write computer code. Let's say I make $50 per hour and an assistant makes $10 per hour so I net $40 per hour. I could save $10 per hour by working the additional hours the assistant worked on my behalf when I am not working. In other words, if I could make $50 per hour why would I want to save $10 per hour (reduce my pay by 80%) ?

It pays to hire someone unless you are just greedy and after cash flow.
 
HerefordSire":lfjih6dg said:
It pays to hire someone unless you are just greedy and after cash flow.[/i]

Are we talking maids or bedmates here. If its the latter, I think I'd be afraid of what $10/hr would get me. ;-) :lol2:
 
Jogeephus":1zzvh6e7 said:
HerefordSire":1zzvh6e7 said:
It pays to hire someone unless you are just greedy and after cash flow.[/i]

Are we talking maids or bedmates here. If its the latter, I think I'd be afraid of what $10/hr would get me. ;-) :lol2:

I chose not to use either term for reasons. A personel assistant could do things an old fashion maid would not have to do, like go to the cleaners or to the bank or grocery shopping or get cow out of road. In regards to your other term, I better not make any comments associating wages with the term itself.

Times are changing fast. Nowadays, how many partners do you know that don't work? In the old days after WWII, since my father worked long hours, my mother raised children and kept house. Those days are long gone but the value of old fashion women skyrocketed in my view.
 
HerefordSire":o0fs1w1m said:
chrisy":o0fs1w1m said:
I think I've said it before but why try to change him when you marry, as he may change into something you hate and not the man you fell in love with and married in the first place.????? if he leaves the toilet seat up then just shut it down, if he leaves his socks on the floor leave them there 'till the draw is empty, then he will have to pick them up or go and buy more or go bare footed, if he leaves the bath tub in a mess make him shower with the pigs/cows, he always seems to like peeing off of the porch so shouldn't leave the toilet seat up, or mind the shower outside. So you decided to marry an animal, and as we are always told you can't teach an old dog new tricks, so please Mum's when you have a son make sure he knows how to change a toilet roll, make his bed etc.etc then hopefully the next generation will know the etiquette we all strive for. :help:

Under normal curcumstances, it is usually more efficient if a man (or woman) spends time on which their education or trade was received and to hire a personnel assistant thereby focusing on higher paying duties. For example, I write computer code. Let's say I make $50 per hour and an assistant makes $10 per hour so I net $40 per hour. I could save $10 per hour by working the additional hours the assistant worked on my behalf when I am not working. In other words, if I could make $50 per hour why would I want to save $10 per hour (reduce my pay by 80%) ?

It pays to hire someone unless you are just greedy and after cash flow.

:???: :? I thought marrage was a partnership in 50 - 50 :dunce: :cowboy:
 
chrisy":2tppld6t said:
I thought marrage was a partnership in 50 - 50

Maybe in theory but I think the fluctuations in people's emotions requires one giving more than 50% at times to keep it together. In a successful marriage, I think the balance sheet will balance but from day to day I don't think it works this way. Best not to keep score.JMO
 
chrisy":2hd48jxi said:
:???: :? I thought marrage was a partnership in 50 - 50 :dunce: :cowboy:

I know very little about marriage other than one cannot depend on it in today's time according to divorce statistics. Nowadays, women are married to women and men to men. Some partners make more money than others. Some partners excel in cleaning toilets while others excel in throwing hay to the highest stack in the hayloft. It would be much easier to manage successful marriages to have one bread winner and one home keeper.....but that is not the world in which we live in, thus the reason why I mentioned personel assistant. While I am single and have no partner, if two partners pay half of the $10 per hour personnel assistant, then the same principal should probably work as long as additional work in the chosen professions are obtainable.
 

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