Caustic Burno
Well-known member
A. A. A. D. D.
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:
I decide to water my lawn.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over
at my car and decide my car needs washing.
As I start toward the garage, I notice that there
is mail on the porch table that I brought up from
the mail box earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail
in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the
can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take
out the garbage first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox
when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay
the bills first.
I take my check book off the table, and see that there
is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go
inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke
that I had been drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push
the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.
I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should
put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke a vase of
flowers on the counter catches my eye - they need to be
watered.
I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my
reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first
I'm going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a
container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will
be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's
on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the
living room where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills
on the floor.
So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some
towels and wipe up the spill.
Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was
planning to do.
At the end of the day:
the lawn isn't watered,
the car isn't washed,
the bills aren't paid,
there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
the flowers don't have enough water,
there is still only one check in my check book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
I don't remember what I did with the car keys,
and my neighbor called to tell me he turned off the hose
that was flooding the driveway.
Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long,
and I'm really tired. I realize this is a serious problem,
and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.
Do me a favor, will you? Forward this message to everyone
you know, because I don't remember to whom it has been sent.
Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!
GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY.
GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC!
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:
I decide to water my lawn.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over
at my car and decide my car needs washing.
As I start toward the garage, I notice that there
is mail on the porch table that I brought up from
the mail box earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail
in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the
can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take
out the garbage first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox
when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay
the bills first.
I take my check book off the table, and see that there
is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go
inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke
that I had been drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push
the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.
I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should
put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke a vase of
flowers on the counter catches my eye - they need to be
watered.
I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my
reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first
I'm going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a
container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will
be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's
on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the
living room where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills
on the floor.
So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some
towels and wipe up the spill.
Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was
planning to do.
At the end of the day:
the lawn isn't watered,
the car isn't washed,
the bills aren't paid,
there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
the flowers don't have enough water,
there is still only one check in my check book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
I don't remember what I did with the car keys,
and my neighbor called to tell me he turned off the hose
that was flooding the driveway.
Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long,
and I'm really tired. I realize this is a serious problem,
and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.
Do me a favor, will you? Forward this message to everyone
you know, because I don't remember to whom it has been sent.
Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!
GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY.
GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC!
