Ya gotta love this Rancher!!!!!!!

[BILL CLAYLAND]

A DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."


The rancher says, "Okay , but do not go in that field over there," as he points out the location.

The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me." Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher. "See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand? "
The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.



A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher's huge Santa Gertrudis bull.

With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get gored before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified.


The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs "Your badge ... show him your BADGE!"

 

[E in PA]

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

 

[Brute 23]

:lol2: :nod:

 

[Isomade]

:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[Dixieangus]

:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[jack1234]

:lol2: :lol2: Good one. Reminds me of this one...

Two battleships assigned to the training squadron had been at sea on maneuvers in heavy weather off the California coast for several days. As night fell, the captain noticed the patchy fog and decided to remain on the bridge.

Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing of the bridge reported, "Light. Bearing on the starboard bow".

"Is it steady or moving astern?" the captain asked.

The lookout replied, "Steady, captain," which meant the battleship was on a collision course with the other ship.

The captain called to the signalman, "Signal that ship. You are on a collision course. Advise you alter course
20 degrees."

Back came the answering signal, "Advisable that you change course 20 degrees."

The captain said, "Send another message. I am a Senior Captain. Change course 20 degrees."

"I am a Seaman Second Class," came the reply, "Change your course at once."

The officer was furious. He spat out, "We are a battleship squadron. You are ORDERED to change your course 20 degrees."

The flashing light replied, "I am a lighthouse."