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Wouldn't this be Great
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<blockquote data-quote="Campground Cattle" data-source="post: 38622" data-attributes="member: 195"><p>My Fellow Americans: </p><p></p><p>>As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been </p><p></p><p>>completed. Since </p><p></p><p>>congress does not want to spend any more money on this </p><p></p><p>>war, our mission </p><p></p><p>>in Iraq is complete. </p><p></p><p>> </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>>This morning I gave the order for a complete removal </p><p></p><p>>of all American </p><p></p><p>>forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within </p><p></p><p>>30 days. It is now </p><p></p><p>>to begin the reckoning. </p><p></p><p>> </p><p></p><p>>Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the </p><p></p><p>>names of countries </p><p></p><p>>which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. </p><p></p><p>>This list is </p><p></p><p>>short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, </p><p></p><p>>and Poland are </p><p></p><p>>some of the countries listed there. </p><p></p><p>> </p><p></p><p>>The other list contains everyone not on the first </p><p></p><p>>list. Most of the </p><p></p><p>>worlds nations are on that list. My press secretary </p><p></p><p>>will be distributing </p><p></p><p>>copies of both lists later this evening. </p><p></p><p>> </p><p></p><p>>Let me start by saying that effective immediately, </p><p></p><p>>foreign aid to those </p><p></p><p>>nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. </p><p></p><p>>The money saved </p><p></p><p>>during the first year alone will pretty much pay for </p><p></p><p>>the costs of the </p><p></p><p>>Iraqi war. </p><p></p><p>> </p><p></p><p>>The American people are no longer going to pour money </p><p></p><p>>into third world </p><p></p><p>>Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat </p><p></p><p>>on corruption. </p><p></p><p>> </p><p></p><p>>Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? </p><p></p><p>>Call France. </p><p></p><p>> </p><p></p><p>>In the future, together with Congress, I will work to </p><p></p><p>>redirect this </p><p></p><p>>money toward solving the vexing social problems we </p><p></p><p>>still have at home. </p><p></p><p>>On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw </p><p></p><p>>with us and we </p><p></p><p>>will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your </p><p></p><p>>friends from the face </p><p></p><p>>of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to </p><p></p><p>>terrorize? Try France, or </p><p></p><p>>maybe China. </p><p></p><p>> </p><p></p><p>>To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. </p><p></p><p>>Work out a peace deal </p><p></p><p>>now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of </p><p></p><p>>you can go to </p><p></p><p>>Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces </p><p></p><p>>there. Big tables, </p><p></p><p>>too. I am ordering the immediate severing of </p><p></p><p>>diplomatic relations with </p><p></p><p>>France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, </p><p></p><p>>comrades. We are </p><p></p><p>>retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis. </p><p></p><p>>I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin </p><p></p><p>>towing the many </p><p></p><p>>UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more </p><p></p><p>>than two unpaid </p><p></p><p>>parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be </p><p></p><p>>stripped, shredded </p><p></p><p>>and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty </p><p></p><p>>pertains to this. You </p><p></p><p>>creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay </p><p></p><p>>those tickets </p><p></p><p>>tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and </p><p></p><p>>limos be turned </p><p></p><p>>over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I </p><p></p><p>>love New York. </p><p></p><p>> </p><p></p><p>>A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. </p><p></p><p>>Since we are </p><p></p><p>>likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you </p><p></p><p>>folks might want to </p><p></p><p>>try not pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on </p><p></p><p>>List 2. President </p><p></p><p>>Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an </p><p></p><p>>attitude </p><p></p><p>>adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and </p><p></p><p>>infantry divisions </p><p></p><p>>sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, </p><p></p><p>>border security. </p><p></p><p>>So start doing something with your oil. </p><p></p><p>>Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the </p><p></p><p>>NAFTA treaty --- </p><p></p><p>>starting now. </p><p></p><p>> </p><p></p><p>>We are tired of the one-way highway. </p><p></p><p>> </p><p></p><p>>It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and </p><p></p><p>>its own citizens. </p><p></p><p>>Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them be </p><p></p><p>>saying, "darn </p><p></p><p>>tootin." </p><p></p><p>> </p><p></p><p>>Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent </p><p></p><p>>life around the </p><p></p><p>>world has only earned us the undying enmity of just </p><p></p><p>>about everyone on </p><p></p><p>>the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. </p><p></p><p>>It is time to </p><p></p><p>>eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to </p><p></p><p>>eliminate World Cup </p><p></p><p>>Soccer from America. </p><p></p><p>>To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks </p><p></p><p>>guys. We owe you and </p><p></p><p>>we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final </p><p></p><p>>thought. Drop dead. </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>>God bless America. </p><p></p><p>>Thank you and good night. </p><p></p><p>> </p><p></p><p>>If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are </p><p></p><p>>reading it in </p><p></p><p>>English, thank a soldier.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Campground Cattle, post: 38622, member: 195"] My Fellow Americans: >As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been >completed. Since >congress does not want to spend any more money on this >war, our mission >in Iraq is complete. > >This morning I gave the order for a complete removal >of all American >forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within >30 days. It is now >to begin the reckoning. > >Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the >names of countries >which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. >This list is >short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, >and Poland are >some of the countries listed there. > >The other list contains everyone not on the first >list. Most of the >worlds nations are on that list. My press secretary >will be distributing >copies of both lists later this evening. > >Let me start by saying that effective immediately, >foreign aid to those >nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. >The money saved >during the first year alone will pretty much pay for >the costs of the >Iraqi war. > >The American people are no longer going to pour money >into third world >Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat >on corruption. > >Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? >Call France. > >In the future, together with Congress, I will work to >redirect this >money toward solving the vexing social problems we >still have at home. >On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw >with us and we >will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your >friends from the face >of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to >terrorize? Try France, or >maybe China. > >To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. >Work out a peace deal >now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of >you can go to >Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces >there. Big tables, >too. I am ordering the immediate severing of >diplomatic relations with >France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, >comrades. We are >retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis. >I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin >towing the many >UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more >than two unpaid >parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be >stripped, shredded >and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty >pertains to this. You >creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay >those tickets >tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and >limos be turned >over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I >love New York. > >A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. >Since we are >likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you >folks might want to >try not pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on >List 2. President >Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an >attitude >adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and >infantry divisions >sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, >border security. >So start doing something with your oil. >Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the >NAFTA treaty --- >starting now. > >We are tired of the one-way highway. > >It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and >its own citizens. >Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them be >saying, "darn >tootin." > >Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent >life around the >world has only earned us the undying enmity of just >about everyone on >the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. >It is time to >eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to >eliminate World Cup >Soccer from America. >To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks >guys. We owe you and >we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final >thought. Drop dead. >God bless America. >Thank you and good night. > >If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are >reading it in >English, thank a soldier. [/QUOTE]
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