Tommy Ruyle
Well-known member
Angus/Brangus, I'd make a comment but I'm scared. 
women are like.....
- Thread starter Tommy Ruyle
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Victoria
Well-known member
Tommy Ruyle":7qmrl8ch said:Angus/Brangus, I'd make a comment but I'm scared.
At least one of you is smart. ;-)
chrisy
Well-known member
A/B I am lost for words (which is no mean feat), as an answer to this posting.
Tommy you are wise beyond the pale.
Tommy you are wise beyond the pale.
pdfangus
Well-known member
Angus/Brangus....
I got your back. :cboy:
I got your back. :cboy:
Earl Thigpen
Well-known member
I ain't touchin' this with a ten foot Pole (or a three foot Swede). :lol:
RebelCritter
Well-known member
Seems like WAR! LOL
Why are men like toilets?
They're either: Vacant, Engaged or full of crap.
Men are like..... Commercials.
You can't believe a word they say.
Men are like..... Copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.
Men are like..... Bank Accounts.
Without a lot of money, they don't generate interest.
Men are like..... Bike helmets.
Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just LOOK SILLY.
Men are like..... Used Cars.
Both are easy-to-get, cheap, and unreliable.
Men are like..... Vacations.
They never seem to be long enough.
Men are like..... Lawn Mowers.
If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it.
I got more!!!
Why are men like toilets?
They're either: Vacant, Engaged or full of crap.
Men are like..... Commercials.
You can't believe a word they say.
Men are like..... Copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.
Men are like..... Bank Accounts.
Without a lot of money, they don't generate interest.
Men are like..... Bike helmets.
Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just LOOK SILLY.
Men are like..... Used Cars.
Both are easy-to-get, cheap, and unreliable.
Men are like..... Vacations.
They never seem to be long enough.
Men are like..... Lawn Mowers.
If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it.
I got more!!!
RebelCritter
Well-known member
Men are like......
.....placemats
they only show up when there's food on the table.
.....bike helmets
they're good in emergencies but usually just look silly.
.....handguns
keep one around long enough and your gonna want to shoot it.
.....high heels
they're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.
"Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's
our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with."
Men are like newborn babies. They're cute at first, but you get tired of picking up their crap.
Men are like power tools. They make a lot of noise, but it's hard to get them to work.
Men are like remote controls. Simple. Easy to use. And usually lying around a TV.
Men are like shag carpets. Soft, fuzzy and extremely easy to walk on.
Men are like vacuum cleaners. They're not much fun, but at least you get to push them around.
Men are like road kill. They usually just lie around until they start to smell.
Men are like pillows. Eventually, even the best ones get soft and lumpy.
Men are like old car tires. Balding, full of hot air, and it never hurts to have a spare.
Men are like horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
Men are like plungers. They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.
Men are like.....Coolers.
Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.
Men are like.....Laxatives.
They irritate the poo out of you.
RebelCritter
Well-known member
:clap: What Women Should Know About Men
1. If you think the way to a man's heart is through his stomach you're aiming to high.
2. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
3. The best reason to divorce a man is a health reason: you've got sick of him.
4. Never trust a man who says he's the boss at home. He probaly lies about other things too.
5. A woman's work that is never done, is the stuff she asked her husband to do.
6. If you want a nice man go for a bald one - they try harder.
7. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.
8. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - "don't" and "stop" (but not used together).
9. Men are all the same - they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.
10. Definition of a man with manners - he gets out of the bath to pee.
11. Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband, you will usually find that he is.
12. Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men - a women.
13. There are a lot of words you can use to describe men - strong, caring, loving -- they'd be wrong but you could still use them!
14. Men are like animals - messy, insensitive and potentially violent - but they make great pets!
15. Mens brains are like the prison system - not enough cells per man.
16. Husbands are like children - they're fine if they're someone else's.
RebelCritter
Well-known member
How Dogs and Men Are the Same
1. Both take up too much space on the bed.
2. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
3. Both mark their territory.
4. Neither tells you what's bothering them.
5. The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.
6. Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches.
7. Neither does any dishes.
8. Both fart shamelessly.
9. Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.
10. Both like dominance games.
11. Both are suspicious of the postman.
12. Neither understands what you see in cats.
How Dogs Are Better Than Men
1. Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
2. Dogs miss you when you're gone.
3. Dogs feel guilty when they've done something wrong.
4. Dogs admit when they're jealous.
5. Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
6. Dogs do not play games with you, except fetch (and they never laugh at how you throw).
7. You can train a dog.
8. Dogs are easy to buy for.
9. The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas (OK, really, the worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine for it and you can kill the one that gives it to you).
10. Dogs understand what "no" means.
11. Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
1. Both take up too much space on the bed.
2. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
3. Both mark their territory.
4. Neither tells you what's bothering them.
5. The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.
6. Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches.
7. Neither does any dishes.
8. Both fart shamelessly.
9. Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.
10. Both like dominance games.
11. Both are suspicious of the postman.
12. Neither understands what you see in cats.
How Dogs Are Better Than Men
1. Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
2. Dogs miss you when you're gone.
3. Dogs feel guilty when they've done something wrong.
4. Dogs admit when they're jealous.
5. Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
6. Dogs do not play games with you, except fetch (and they never laugh at how you throw).
7. You can train a dog.
8. Dogs are easy to buy for.
9. The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas (OK, really, the worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine for it and you can kill the one that gives it to you).
10. Dogs understand what "no" means.
11. Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
flaboy?
Well-known member
(_x_)
:lol:
:lol:
RebelCritter
Well-known member
I know what that means!!! (_E=mc^2_) (_!_)head
MEN vs. WOMEN
1. NAMES
If Jane , Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Jane , Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
2. EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
3. MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
4. BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
5. ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
6. CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
7. FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
8. SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
9. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
10. DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
11. NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
12. OFFSPRING - Ah, children.
A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing
1. NAMES
If Jane , Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Jane , Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
2. EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
3. MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
4. BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
5. ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
6. CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
7. FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
8. SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
9. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
10. DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
11. NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
12. OFFSPRING - Ah, children.
A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing
flaboy?
Well-known member
RebelCritter":21t07oy4 said:
Someone has to keep you on your toes. :lol:
RebelCritter
Well-known member
flaboy?":rnzjamyq said:
:heart: :heart:
chrisy
Well-known member
yea! all of this is fun, and the come backs have been good to read, BUT what we do without each other??????
:heart:
