Warpaint & Crowder

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Nowland Farms

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Warpaint decided to go skiing with his buddy, Crowder. So they loaded up Warpaint's truck and headed north.

After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."

"Don't worry," Warpaint said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light." The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.

Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing. But about nine months later, Warpaint got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Crowder and asked, "Crowder, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up North about 9 months ago?" "Yes, I do." said Crowder. "Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"

"Well, um, yes," Crowder said, a little embarrassed about being found out. "I have to admit that I did." "And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?" Crowder's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did. Why do you ask?"



"She just died and left me everything."

(And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you?)
 
Crowder the comments for this one are filling my head faster than my fingers can type.

This is a really good one. :lol: :lol: :lol: WTG Nowland
 
Mahoney Pursley Ranch":1qzaysq7 said:
TurnThatCowLooseMaw":1qzaysq7 said:
Lady choked on a ham sandwich like mama cass.
Cass choked to death while eating a burger in bed.

Sorry but momma Cass actually died of a heart attack. The Ham Sandwich was a myth.

http://www.snopes.com/music/artists/mamacass.htm

Ps. She might not have fit the mold in looks and weight for a singer but she sure could sing! And had them dance moves for a heavy girl also. Crowder would have been smitten with her. :D
 
aplusmnt":3c7po68g said:
Mahoney Pursley Ranch":3c7po68g said:
TurnThatCowLooseMaw":3c7po68g said:
Lady choked on a ham sandwich like mama cass.
Cass choked to death while eating a burger in bed.

Sorry but momma Cass actually died of a heart attack. The Ham Sandwich was a myth.

http://www.snopes.com/music/artists/mamacass.htm

Ps. She might not have fit the mold in looks and weight for a singer but she sure could sing! And had them dance moves for a heavy girl also. Crowder would have been smitten with her. :D
Mr. Clean, you seem to be a heck of a lot more attacted to her than me.She actually expired due to a whole Turkey gettin' hung in her throat.
 
Crowderfarms":wf134k3t said:
aplusmnt":wf134k3t said:
Mahoney Pursley Ranch":wf134k3t said:
TurnThatCowLooseMaw":wf134k3t said:
Lady choked on a ham sandwich like mama cass.
Cass choked to death while eating a burger in bed.

Sorry but momma Cass actually died of a heart attack. The Ham Sandwich was a myth.

http://www.snopes.com/music/artists/mamacass.htm

Ps. She might not have fit the mold in looks and weight for a singer but she sure could sing! And had them dance moves for a heavy girl also. Crowder would have been smitten with her. :D
Mr. Clean, you seem to be a heck of a lot more attacted to her than me.She actually expired due to a whole Turkey gettin' hung in her throat.

You got to love a fat woman that can sing and dance :D She was like a Shania for those with a fat fetish.

Speaking of fetishes Crowder, how are you doing with your Gynemimetophilia fetish?
 
Crowderfarms":2nsudjc6 said:
Mr.Clean... What does that big 5 dollar word mean? Sounds kinda scary. :shock:

Gynemimetophilia - Someone is aroused by a male who is impersonating a female. ;-) :D
 
aplusmnt":c3ixz87x said:
Crowderfarms":c3ixz87x said:
Mr.Clean... What does that big 5 dollar word mean? Sounds kinda scary. :shock:

Gynemimetophilia - Someone is aroused by a male who is impersonating a female. ;-) :D
That's just plain SICK! Leave it to you Mr. Clean to know the definition of such a word.You probably learned that from Cosmopolitan or something.
 

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