That is efficiency for you!

Tommy Ruyle

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 8, 2005
Messages
1,440
City & State/Province
Medora, Illinois
Last week I took some friends out to a restaurant, and I noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange, but I ignored it. However, when the busboy brought out water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. I then looked around the room and saw that all the waitpersons had a spoon in their pocket.

When the waiter came back to check on our order I asked: "Why the spoon?"

"Well" he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Andersen Consulting, experts in efficiency, in order to revamp all our processes. After several months of statistical analysis, they concluded that customers drop their spoons 73.84% more often than any other utensil. This represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are prepared to deal with that contingency, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 1.5 man-hours per shift."

As we finished talking, a metallic sound was heard from behind me. Quickly, the waiter replaced the dropped spoon with the one in his pocket and he said: "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now."

I was rather impressed. The waiter continued taking our order and while my guests ordered, I continued to look around. I then noticed that there was a very thin string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their fly.

My curiosity got the better of me and before he walked off, I asked the waiter: "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"

"Oh certainly!" he answered, lowering his voice. "Not everyone is as observant as you. That consulting firm I mentioned, also found out that we can save time in the restroom."

"How so?" I was almost afraid to ask.

"See," he continued, "by tying this string to the tip of ...you know... we can pull it out over the urinal without touching it, and that way eliminate the need to wash the hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent"

"Okay, that makes sense, but... if the string helps you get it out, how do you put it back in?"

"Well" he whispered, lowering his voice even further, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon." And he walked away. :shock:
 
Tommy, if I see a waiter with a spoon in his pocket I will lose my appetite and it will ruin my night.

Because of this, my wife will start complaining and she won't have a good dinner either.

I will get mad at her for complaining and leave her at the restaurant. She will be delirious and file for divorce. I will lose half of everything I own to her.

All this.......... because of you're joke Tommy. Hope you are satisfied. :shock:
 
:shock: don't think I will have soup or desert again at a resturant, thanks Tommy you solved the diet problem for most people here. :P :lol: :lol:
 
none of the waiter people do that down here so i thought it was hilarous and now theres water all over my monitor because i read that and spit it all over the place. my dad is gonna have to read that one. :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
That was a hoot! :lol: :lol:

MikeC; I hope things work out for you, maybe invest in some plastic spoons. :lol: :lol:
 
MikeC":1lxf3mo5 said:
Tommy, if I see a waiter with a spoon in his pocket I will lose my appetite and it will ruin my night.

Because of this, my wife will start complaining and she won't have a good dinner either.

I will get mad at her for complaining and leave her at the restaurant. She will be delirious and file for divorce. I will lose half of everything I own to her.

All this.......... because of you're joke Tommy. Hope you are satisfied. :shock:

Wrong approach Mike !!! Tommy is saving you money - don't take the wife out in the first place and you'll save money - both on dinner and the divorce !!!
 
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Bullbuyer":2ot6pmzb said:
MikeC":2ot6pmzb said:
Tommy, if I see a waiter with a spoon in his pocket I will lose my appetite and it will ruin my night.

Because of this, my wife will start complaining and she won't have a good dinner either.

I will get mad at her for complaining and leave her at the restaurant. She will be delirious and file for divorce. I will lose half of everything I own to her.

All this.......... because of you're joke Tommy. Hope you are satisfied. :shock:

Wrong approach Mike !!! Tommy is saving you money - don't take the wife out in the first place and you'll save money - both on dinner and the divorce !!!

But then I have to eat her cooking again. :shock:
 
Tommy Ruyle":1ykn4bar said:
"Well" he whispered, lowering his voice even further, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon." And he walked away. :shock:

Oh my! That certainly gives a whole new pespective to the term 'spooning'! :shock: :shock:
 
MikeC":1ebra9d4 said:
Bullbuyer":1ebra9d4 said:
MikeC":1ebra9d4 said:
Tommy, if I see a waiter with a spoon in his pocket I will lose my appetite and it will ruin my night.

Because of this, my wife will start complaining and she won't have a good dinner either.

I will get mad at her for complaining and leave her at the restaurant. She will be delirious and file for divorce. I will lose half of everything I own to her.

All this.......... because of you're joke Tommy. Hope you are satisfied. :shock:

Wrong approach Mike !!! Tommy is saving you money - don't take the wife out in the first place and you'll save money - both on dinner and the divorce !!!

But then I have to eat her cooking again. :shock:

theres always take away ;-)
 

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