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<blockquote data-quote="bball" data-source="post: 1484280" data-attributes="member: 23752"><p>You never get your life back the way that it was. You have a different life now(that you didnt ask for). And for me, the first 3 years after she passed really sucked hard. There was no time for me; learning how to be a single father to 7 children, changing careers, relocating, redefining my identity without her...it can be overwhelming. All a man can do is keep pressing forward, day by day. Before you know it, you find yourself immersed in this new, different life; that with enough time, can be as joyful as your previous life. It does take time, quite a bit actually. The hurt dulls and the healing is slow, especially in the first few years. Today, when I reflect on those 15 years together, I am humbled, honored and thankful that I was able to share those years with such an amazingly strong woman. She endured my flaws, mothered 7 of my children, challenged me to be the best man I could be, and at the end, taught me about suffering, death and loss. How to embrace it- with grace, dignity, fortitude and virtue. Early on in the grieving, I never dreamed it possible, that I would obtain such clarity. Grief is a long, painful, intense journey. It doesnt just stop when the casseroles and cards stop coming. It changes us at our very core because the level of grief one feels is directly proportional to the amount of love you felt. The greater the love, the greater the grief...and the greater the change within us. I will conclude with one of the best explanations of grief I have ever read: "When it comes to grief, the normal rules of exchange do not apply, because grief transcends value. A man would give entire nations to lift grief off his heart. And yet, you cannot buy anything with grief. Because grief is worthless." ~C. McCarthy</p><p></p><p>I wish you strength, peace and comfort.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="bball, post: 1484280, member: 23752"] You never get your life back the way that it was. You have a different life now(that you didnt ask for). And for me, the first 3 years after she passed really sucked hard. There was no time for me; learning how to be a single father to 7 children, changing careers, relocating, redefining my identity without her...it can be overwhelming. All a man can do is keep pressing forward, day by day. Before you know it, you find yourself immersed in this new, different life; that with enough time, can be as joyful as your previous life. It does take time, quite a bit actually. The hurt dulls and the healing is slow, especially in the first few years. Today, when I reflect on those 15 years together, I am humbled, honored and thankful that I was able to share those years with such an amazingly strong woman. She endured my flaws, mothered 7 of my children, challenged me to be the best man I could be, and at the end, taught me about suffering, death and loss. How to embrace it- with grace, dignity, fortitude and virtue. Early on in the grieving, I never dreamed it possible, that I would obtain such clarity. Grief is a long, painful, intense journey. It doesnt just stop when the casseroles and cards stop coming. It changes us at our very core because the level of grief one feels is directly proportional to the amount of love you felt. The greater the love, the greater the grief...and the greater the change within us. I will conclude with one of the best explanations of grief I have ever read: "When it comes to grief, the normal rules of exchange do not apply, because grief transcends value. A man would give entire nations to lift grief off his heart. And yet, you cannot buy anything with grief. Because grief is worthless." ~C. McCarthy I wish you strength, peace and comfort. [/QUOTE]
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