Silence

greybeard

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 5, 2012
Messages
29,165
City & State/Province
Copperas Cove Tx
In the beginning, comes the race. Jockey for position, swerve, honk, point, wait? no--just gun & go for it and your in before anyone else. The old hag in the Suburban scowls. She was never in the running--just thought she was.

Your destination reached, you're in & it really begins. Right away it begins. The noticing. Blank stares, shiftless masses- shifting anyway, moving against the tide--and rarely with it. Above, the eyes in the sky, thru globes of smoked acrylic, peer down on this sea of seemingly disorganized humanity. Are they-or maybe just empty sockets-watching but not watching? The noise---the deafening noise, those not speaking to you but you hear it still, the parts of their lives, all the drama, the sins, the joys, the anger-- all their dirty despicable little secrets.

Choices are made, your duty done, your load heavy, you trudge on, back to the beginning, and take your place at the end.
The Din, barely audible, but deafening, without any more than a few words actually discernible. Time now, to try to really notice. The old guy in the propelled vehicle that makes no sound--neither does he. The 20ish looking girl, struggling with a toddler-dad not to be found, nor is the wedding ring. Old before her time the revealing black around her eyes. The high school girls, also older than their years, are followed by their pale opposites, who hope to make contact of any kind, via some sort of telepathic means, but are on the wrong frequency. The occasional wandering by of the blue shirts-doing something, but never seeming to be doing anything, just walking about in the throng. Ironically, all are devoid of any semblance of emotion in their faces, tho constantly surrounded by bright smiley faces. The post high school 2some, the pale winter skin contrasted by brightly lettered "Hook'em Horns' shirts, (who a year before would never be caught dead in burnt orange), look about in some sort of self inflicted aloofness. "Look at us" is what the shirts really say. The Din roars on quietly, above it all, some unintelligible words of electronic origin--warns, pleads, exclaims, informs and thanks. A baby cries somewhere, but is unceremoniously drowned out by The Din of constant murmurs. The hum is deafening--is it real--or perhaps it's all in your head-those semi-voices? Not a word can be misunderstood-are they all whispering? Even the couple 2 feet in front of you? Lips move, a sound comes out--what language is that? Yours, but not meant for you to hear or understand, but still you do. You should be able to understand-after all, just an arm's length away. No, not really whispering, just drowned out by the total sum of the others. The Din. Wait, then shuffle ahead wait some more. How many thousands before you have done the same? In this very spot? 10s of thousands? More? Nameless thousands-some no longer on this earth. There is no Din where they now forever sleep.

An old enough to know better, 40s something woman, is wedged into jeans that may have looked good on her 15 years ago, and a t-top that probably was lifted from her daughter's closet, reveals thru the sadness in her eyes, the stresses of 2 decades of family life. In a better time, homecoming queen/cheerleader. Not to be seen now, just fading memories. Where did it go?
Up ahead, 2 young, conspicuously neatly groomed waifs wait on a bench, quietly fidgeting, as a related oldster reads the evening news, and oblivious to the nothing going on around him, somehow holds the two boys in check from running about--by some invisible cord. Only unspoken words are exchanged between the 3---covertly encrypted as glances. Sent, deciphered, and received, obeyed. The boys are on the receiving end. The glances are louder and sterner than The Din.

At last, it's your turn, to pay the piper, and be thanked, tho the person doing the thanking doesn't really mean it. A never ending trail of forlorn looking pedestrians stream past her, each taking their turn at the mundane tradition we are all so familiar with.
Out away from the coldness of the crowd, into an air that seems so much warmer, tho in fact it's 20 degrees below the artificial atmosphere you just left. What's that? You can hear voices-and understand the words. They're 20 feet away and you understand perfectly. How can that be? You leave this place, and let those others run their short little races, to vie for the few sq yards of asphalt you just vacated. They too will soon add their own silent voices to The Din.
 
It's about as bad on the outside as everyone stares blindly at their cell phone as they stumble down the sidewalk or across the parking lot totally unaware of what's going on around them.
 
Yes, Walmart--I wrote that several years ago after a trip to the San Angelo Texas Walmart not long after the Supercenter opened. (I may have posted it here before and forgotten)
Probably not as bad for most folks, because I have a hearing problem, but it's not a hearing loss. It's the opposite. I have very acute hearing and hear whispered conversations from across a restaurant, several aisles over in stores, and keep my cell and house phone volume on low because to me, it seems as if the person on the other end is screaming. I hate going to public places--I have no desire to know which complete stranger is sleeping with who, how good it was or not, when they're going to do it again and how close they've come to getting caught by their spouse. If people only knew what I have heard them say.... If I try to ignore it, it turns into an unintelligible din of words, but usually, I naturally differentiate the individual conversations. I hate it. I really don't want to hear about women's gyno troubles or men's inability to poop or the young girls whispered comments about things I wouldn't believe they are already doing and their parents are probably clueless.

It affects my own speech as well. When I talk, it seems to me that I am talking in a normal tone and volume, but to the listeners, they can barely hear me. If I talk so they can hear me easily, it seems (to me) that I am yelling. It drives me nuts at times and I have left more than one public gathering because I just couldn't stand the noise, but I do like it when the electricity goes out here. No more hum of the transformers, the little air compressor on the wastewater plant goes silent, no more music from the housing development 2 miles across the river--just the incessant buzzing of a million insects in the national forest, even last night when the temperature was close to freezing.
 
When I was much younger I could hear that like that when I smoked weed. :nod: :nod: I could hone in on and hear a mouse pee on a bale of cotton.
 
I have noticed as I get younger that more than 2 conversations going at once I cant hear. Its like im talking to someone face to face I cant hear them and hear them and can tell you ever word of the conversation in the other room. weird Huh!
 
Well, I have never smoked weed. One would think, after years of flying around on helicopters, working in ship engine rooms, working on drilling rigs with big diesels screaming constantly, (and being married most of my life), that I would have suffered some hearing loss. Not so.
 
greybeard":18uynvlx said:
Well, I have never smoked weed. One would think, after years of flying around on helicopters, working in ship engine rooms, working on drilling rigs with big diesels screaming constantly, (and being married most of my life), that I would have suffered some hearing loss. Not so.
Maybe you are not really hearing them, but you are gifted (or cursed) with mind reading..
 
naw HD--that, would be my wife with that gift. She always knows ahead of time when I'm fixin to do something she ain't gonna like. Sometimes, she knows it before I do.
 

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