For some reason people keep sending me these kinds of jokes, don;t understand it!
dun
> An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to
> report that her car has
> been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains
> her situation to the
> dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering
> wheel, the brake pedal
> and even the accelerator!" she cried. The dispatcher!
> s aid, "Stay calm. An
> officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the
> officer radios in.
>
> "Disregard.", He says. "She got in the back-seat by
> mistake."
> __________________________________________
>
> FAMILY
>
> Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house
> together. One night the 96
> year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and
> pauses. She yells to the
> other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
> The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come
> up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses. "Was
> I going up the stairs
> or down?" The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen
> table having tea
> listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and
> says, "I sure hope I never
> get that forgetful," as she knocked on her wooden
> table for good measure. "
> She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as
> soon as I see who's at
> the door."
> _______________________________________________
>
> "I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!"
> Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing
> golf one fine March
> day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?"
> "No," the second man
> replied, "it's Thursday." And the third man chimed in,
> "So am I. Let's have
> a beer."
> ___________________________________________
>
> WHAT A CHOICE
>
> A little old lady was running up and down the halls in
> a nursing home. As
> she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown
> and say, "Supersex."
> She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair.
> Flipping her gown at him,
> she said, "Supersex." He sat silently for a moment or
> two and finally
> answered, "I'll take the soup."
> ____________________________________________
>
> OLD FRIENDS
>
> Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.
> Over the years, they
> had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.
> Lately, their activities
> had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play
> cards. One day, they
> were playing cards when one looked at the other and
> said, "Now don't get mad
> at me . I know we've been friends for a long time, but
> I just can't think of
> your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't
> remember it. Please tell me
> what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at
> least three minutes she
> just stared and glared at her. Fina! lly she said,
> "How soon do you need to
> know?"
> _____________________________________________
> SENIOR DRIVING
>
> As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his
> car phone rang.
> Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning
> him, "Herman, I just
> heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong
> way on Interstate 77.
> Please be careful!" "Hell," said Herman, "It's not
> just one car. It's
> hundreds of them!"
dun
> An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to
> report that her car has
> been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains
> her situation to the
> dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering
> wheel, the brake pedal
> and even the accelerator!" she cried. The dispatcher!
> s aid, "Stay calm. An
> officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the
> officer radios in.
>
> "Disregard.", He says. "She got in the back-seat by
> mistake."
> __________________________________________
>
> FAMILY
>
> Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house
> together. One night the 96
> year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and
> pauses. She yells to the
> other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
> The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come
> up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses. "Was
> I going up the stairs
> or down?" The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen
> table having tea
> listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and
> says, "I sure hope I never
> get that forgetful," as she knocked on her wooden
> table for good measure. "
> She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as
> soon as I see who's at
> the door."
> _______________________________________________
>
> "I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!"
> Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing
> golf one fine March
> day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?"
> "No," the second man
> replied, "it's Thursday." And the third man chimed in,
> "So am I. Let's have
> a beer."
> ___________________________________________
>
> WHAT A CHOICE
>
> A little old lady was running up and down the halls in
> a nursing home. As
> she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown
> and say, "Supersex."
> She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair.
> Flipping her gown at him,
> she said, "Supersex." He sat silently for a moment or
> two and finally
> answered, "I'll take the soup."
> ____________________________________________
>
> OLD FRIENDS
>
> Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.
> Over the years, they
> had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.
> Lately, their activities
> had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play
> cards. One day, they
> were playing cards when one looked at the other and
> said, "Now don't get mad
> at me . I know we've been friends for a long time, but
> I just can't think of
> your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't
> remember it. Please tell me
> what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at
> least three minutes she
> just stared and glared at her. Fina! lly she said,
> "How soon do you need to
> know?"
> _____________________________________________
> SENIOR DRIVING
>
> As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his
> car phone rang.
> Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning
> him, "Herman, I just
> heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong
> way on Interstate 77.
> Please be careful!" "Hell," said Herman, "It's not
> just one car. It's
> hundreds of them!"
