sayings and limericks.??????

[chrisy]

On the thread 'What's in a sig: line anyway?' dun came up with an old saying 'A funny bird is the Pelican, his bill can hold more than his belly can' and then ga.prime added 'And I don't know how in the hellecan' later on dun...said 'there are sayings, limericks and poems he remembers, that kids today have no interest in learning' this got me to wondering how many of them are out there and what a good thread it could be, so if your up to it here goes.....

one of my Dads little ditties was:

Lotty Collins got no drawers would you kindly lend her yours, 'cause she's going far away to sing tra la la boomd'ay

 

[Jogeephus]

Here is a useful saying for winter weather in my area. "Rain before seven will quit by eleven. Rain after seven will rain all day"

 

[dun]

'Twas midnight on the ocean,
Not a streetcar was in sight,
So I stepped into a cigar store
To ask them for a light.

The man behind the counter
Was a woman, old and gray,
Who used to peddle doughnuts
On the road to Mandalay.

She said "Good morning, stranger",
Her eyes were dry with tears,
As she put her head between her feet
And stood that way for years.

Her children all were orphans,
Except one a tiny tot,
Who had a home across the way
Above a vacant lot.

The silence of the noise was great,
The morning star was dawning,
A dead horse galloped up and said I won;t be home till morning

An axe came walking through the air
A clock struck 26
I turned my eyes towards the skys
And saw a flock of bricks.

 

[CKC1586]

My Dad had a bunch of limericks most which I wouldn't be able to print out here without a bunch of "be nice" in them! I had my first experience with getting my mouth washed out with the green liquid soap at school for singing one of his little dittys at age five. Dad and I were both in trouble that night with Mom....

One of his "classics" was....

A fartin horse
never tires.
A windy man is
the man to hire.

 

[Jogeephus]

A fartin horse
never tires.
A windy man is
the man to hire.

:lol2: I heard a version of this one used just the other day. :lol2:

 

[Keren]

'Twas midnight on the ocean,
Not a streetcar was in sight,
So I stepped into a cigar store
To ask them for a light.

The man behind the counter
Was a woman, old and gray,
Who used to peddle doughnuts
On the road to Mandalay.

She said "Good morning, stranger",
Her eyes were dry with tears,
As she put her head between her feet
And stood that way for years.

Her children all were orphans,
Except one a tiny tot,
Who had a home across the way
Above a vacant lot.

The silence of the noise was great,
The morning star was dawning,
A dead horse galloped up and said I won;t be home till morning

An axe came walking through the air
A clock struck 26
I turned my eyes towards the skys
And saw a flock of bricks.

This is fantastic dun!

Give me time tomorrow I will think of some.

 

[VanC]

There once was a girl named Madonna
To all the boys she'd ask "Do yo wanna?"
Warren Beatty said no,
called her a "HO"
Now she cries and smokes marijuana.

 

[Crowderfarms]

Have you seen Hillary make water?
She gushes a beatiful stream
She sprays out a mile and a quarter
Cant see her butt from the steam.

 

[ga. prime]

Here's one from way back good to use at football games:

rah rah ree
kick'em in the knee
rah rah rass
kick'em in the other knee

 

[chrisy]

three I have been racking my brain for all day, they finally came to me...

I went to the pictures tomorrow
I got a front seat in the back
I fell from the pit to the gallery
and broke a front bone in my back
I turned a straight crooked corner
and saw a dead donkey alive
I took out my pistol to stab it
and it landed me one in the eye
singing cockles and mussels alive alive O.

The Elephant is a pretty bird
it swings from bough to bough
it makes it's nest in a Rhubarb tree
and whistles like a cow.

One night upon the stair
I saw a man who wasn't there
he wasn't there again today
I do so wish he'd go away.

 

[Earl Thigpen]

"There once was a man from Kent'
whose ...."

No that won't do!

 

[dun]

"There once was a man from Kent'
whose ...."

No that won't do!

Neither will the man from Nantucket or the maiden named Alice!

 

[TexasBred]

How about a "Toast"??

Here's to you and me,
May we never disagree
But if we do
To heII with you
Here's to me

 

[DavisBeefmasters]

How about a "Toast"??

Here's to you and me,
May we never disagree
But if we do
To heII with you
Here's to me

I remember this one a little bit different...

"Here's to you and here's to me,
better friends they're n'eer be,
but should we ever disagree,
to heck with you and here's to me"

(Why I use heck is because it kept changing it to "be nice" the other way)

 

[newrancher]

There once was a chicken that had a wooden leg, everywhere it went it layed a wooden egg

 

[ga. prime]

Another football cheer used by Ga.Tech fans when Tech loses:

Hey, Hey that's OK
You're gonna work for us someday

 

[ga. prime]

Everybody's loving these football cheers so much here's one more from the Ga. Institute of Technology:

e to the x dx/dy
e to the x dy
secant, tangent, cosine, pi
fight team fight

 

[Arnold Ziffle]

From my youthful years of long ago, a football cheer supposedly used by folks across town (or so we were told):

soda wadda, soda wadda
lemon fizz
we the eagles
who ya'll is?





and from a high school in old San Antone:

two beets (bits), four beets, six beets, a peso
all for Fox Tech, stand up and say so

 

[ga. prime]

Arnold- :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: Don't stay away so long, man.

 

[dun]

Friendships may come and friendships may go
And friendships may peter out you know
But we'll be friends through thick or thin
Peter out or peter in

Here's to you and here's to me
If we should happen to disagree
To hll with you - Here's to me