Crowderfarms
Well-known member
With tongue firmly planted in cheek...I humbly submit for your
entertainment:
Zen for those who take life
too seriously
******
1. Save The Whales. Collect The Whole Set.
******
2. A Day Without Sunshine Is Like, Night.
******
3. On The Other Hand, You Have Different
Fingers.
******
4. I Just Got Lost In Thought. It Wasn't
Familiar Territory.
******
5. 42.7 Percent Of All Statistics Are Made
Up On The Spot.
******
6. Light Travels Faster Than Sound, Which
Is Why Some People Appear Bright Until You Hear Them Speak.
******
7. I Feel Like I'm Diagonally Parked In A
Parallel Universe.
******
8. Honk If You Love Peace And Quiet.
******
9. Remember, Half The People You Know Are
Below Average.
******
10. He Who Laughs Last, Thinks Slowest.
******
11. Depression Is Merely Anger Without Enthusiasm.
******
12. The Early Bird May Get The Worm, But
The Second Mouse Gets The Cheese.
******
13. I Drive Way Too Fast To Worry About Cholesterol.
******
14. Support Bacteria. They're The Only Culture
Some People Have.
******
15. Monday Is An Awful Way To Spend 1/7 Of
Your Week.
******
16. A Clear Conscience Is Usually The Sign
Of A Bad Memory.
******
17. Change Is Inevitable, Except From Vending
Machines.
******
18. Get A New Car For Your Spouse. It'll
Be A Great Trade!
******
19. Plan To Be Spontaneous Tomorrow.
******
20. Always Try To Be Modest, And Be Proud
Of It!
******
21. If You Think Nobody Cares, Try Missing
A Couple Of Payments.
******
22. How Many Of You Believe In Psycho-Kinesis?
Raise My Hand.
******
23 . Ok, So What's The Speed Of Dark?
******
24. How Do You Tell When You're Out Of Invisible
Ink?
******
25. If Everything Seems To Be Going Well,
You Have Obviously Overlooked Something.
******
26. When Everything Is Coming Your Way, You're
In The Wrong Lane.
******
27. Hard Work Pays Off In The Future. Laziness
Pays Off Now.
******
28. Everyone Has A Photographic Memory. Some
Just Do Not Have Film.
******
29. If Barbie Is So Popular, Why Do You Have
To Buy Her Friends?
******
30. How Much Deeper Would The Ocean Be Without
Sponges?
******
31. Eagles May Soar, But Weasels Do Not Get
Sucked Into Jet Engines.
******
32. What Happens If You Get Scared Half To
Death Twice?
******
33. I Used To Have An Open Mind But My Brains
Kept Falling Out.
******
34. I Couldn't Repair Your Brakes, So I Made
Your Horn Louder.
******
35. Why Do Psychics Have To Ask You For Your
Name?
******
36. Inside Every Older Person Is A Younger
Person Wondering What Happened.
******
37. Just Remember - If The World Did Not
Suck, We Would All Fall Off.
entertainment:
Zen for those who take life
too seriously
******
1. Save The Whales. Collect The Whole Set.
******
2. A Day Without Sunshine Is Like, Night.
******
3. On The Other Hand, You Have Different
Fingers.
******
4. I Just Got Lost In Thought. It Wasn't
Familiar Territory.
******
5. 42.7 Percent Of All Statistics Are Made
Up On The Spot.
******
6. Light Travels Faster Than Sound, Which
Is Why Some People Appear Bright Until You Hear Them Speak.
******
7. I Feel Like I'm Diagonally Parked In A
Parallel Universe.
******
8. Honk If You Love Peace And Quiet.
******
9. Remember, Half The People You Know Are
Below Average.
******
10. He Who Laughs Last, Thinks Slowest.
******
11. Depression Is Merely Anger Without Enthusiasm.
******
12. The Early Bird May Get The Worm, But
The Second Mouse Gets The Cheese.
******
13. I Drive Way Too Fast To Worry About Cholesterol.
******
14. Support Bacteria. They're The Only Culture
Some People Have.
******
15. Monday Is An Awful Way To Spend 1/7 Of
Your Week.
******
16. A Clear Conscience Is Usually The Sign
Of A Bad Memory.
******
17. Change Is Inevitable, Except From Vending
Machines.
******
18. Get A New Car For Your Spouse. It'll
Be A Great Trade!
******
19. Plan To Be Spontaneous Tomorrow.
******
20. Always Try To Be Modest, And Be Proud
Of It!
******
21. If You Think Nobody Cares, Try Missing
A Couple Of Payments.
******
22. How Many Of You Believe In Psycho-Kinesis?
Raise My Hand.
******
23 . Ok, So What's The Speed Of Dark?
******
24. How Do You Tell When You're Out Of Invisible
Ink?
******
25. If Everything Seems To Be Going Well,
You Have Obviously Overlooked Something.
******
26. When Everything Is Coming Your Way, You're
In The Wrong Lane.
******
27. Hard Work Pays Off In The Future. Laziness
Pays Off Now.
******
28. Everyone Has A Photographic Memory. Some
Just Do Not Have Film.
******
29. If Barbie Is So Popular, Why Do You Have
To Buy Her Friends?
******
30. How Much Deeper Would The Ocean Be Without
Sponges?
******
31. Eagles May Soar, But Weasels Do Not Get
Sucked Into Jet Engines.
******
32. What Happens If You Get Scared Half To
Death Twice?
******
33. I Used To Have An Open Mind But My Brains
Kept Falling Out.
******
34. I Couldn't Repair Your Brakes, So I Made
Your Horn Louder.
******
35. Why Do Psychics Have To Ask You For Your
Name?
******
36. Inside Every Older Person Is A Younger
Person Wondering What Happened.
******
37. Just Remember - If The World Did Not
Suck, We Would All Fall Off.
