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<blockquote data-quote="DavisBeefmasters" data-source="post: 490529" data-attributes="member: 2263"><p>BHB -- hang tough and keep your head high. It appears there are some parallel paths to your life and ours... we were fighting the kids "other" home influence (the biological mother); however, we did the best we could as well to teach them accountability, honesty, integrity, etc. etc. all our basic values in life and that you have to earn things... things aren't just "owed to you"... I'll never forget the day of the 10-star temper tantrum over our son advising us that he was "taught in school that it's the law you have to provide for me" and threatened to turn us in for not buying him the jeans he wanted... hubby, the smart man that I love took him right on down to good will and said "go pick out yourself 5 pairs of pants for the week", the shock in the young mans eyes and when he said he wasn't going to go inside, his dad said "hey, the law says I have to provide for you, it doesn't say where I have to buy the clothes" :lol2: ... so from then on, the kids got their clothes budget and if they wanted to spend it on 1 shirt and 1 pair of pants, well -- you better be prepared to wash them every night -- I love my husband.</p><p></p><p>1 (our son) is working and finally pulling his head out of "wherever" to see the sunlight and has some debt to pay off now that he's choosing a more responsible lifestyle, 1 (our daughter) hasn't spoken to us in over a year and chooses to blame everyone for the choices she's making... I hope that she will choose differently before her choices put us in a position of burying her (drugs).</p><p></p><p>Guilt doesn't serve a purpose but to waste energy (easier said than done) -- however, if you have done the best you could, given love unconditionally (notice I say love and not trust -- 2 very different things), then man you've got it covered. Today is a very different world than the one we grew up in... very different</p><p></p><p>Keep your chin up and enjoy the blessings of grandkids... my ramblings are done for the day.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DavisBeefmasters, post: 490529, member: 2263"] BHB -- hang tough and keep your head high. It appears there are some parallel paths to your life and ours... we were fighting the kids "other" home influence (the biological mother); however, we did the best we could as well to teach them accountability, honesty, integrity, etc. etc. all our basic values in life and that you have to earn things... things aren't just "owed to you"... I'll never forget the day of the 10-star temper tantrum over our son advising us that he was "taught in school that it's the law you have to provide for me" and threatened to turn us in for not buying him the jeans he wanted... hubby, the smart man that I love took him right on down to good will and said "go pick out yourself 5 pairs of pants for the week", the shock in the young mans eyes and when he said he wasn't going to go inside, his dad said "hey, the law says I have to provide for you, it doesn't say where I have to buy the clothes" :lol2: ... so from then on, the kids got their clothes budget and if they wanted to spend it on 1 shirt and 1 pair of pants, well -- you better be prepared to wash them every night -- I love my husband. 1 (our son) is working and finally pulling his head out of "wherever" to see the sunlight and has some debt to pay off now that he's choosing a more responsible lifestyle, 1 (our daughter) hasn't spoken to us in over a year and chooses to blame everyone for the choices she's making... I hope that she will choose differently before her choices put us in a position of burying her (drugs). Guilt doesn't serve a purpose but to waste energy (easier said than done) -- however, if you have done the best you could, given love unconditionally (notice I say love and not trust -- 2 very different things), then man you've got it covered. Today is a very different world than the one we grew up in... very different Keep your chin up and enjoy the blessings of grandkids... my ramblings are done for the day. [/QUOTE]
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