Political Correctness

[TexasBred]

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America , Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as 'HILLBILLIES.'


You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS .

And furthermore

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a ' BREASTED AMERICAN.'

2. She is not ' EASY ' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.' (Loved this one!)

3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'

4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'

5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes ' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'

6. She is not a 'TWO- BIT HOOKER' - She is a ' LOW COST PROVIDER.'

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:


1. He does not have a ' BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'

2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is ' OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

3. He does not ' GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He ' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'

4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's 'REAR CLEAVAGE.'

 

[dyates]

Funny stuff, but I have a few questions.

If I'm an Appalachian-American, does that make me a minority? Does it make me more qualified for social/welfare programs? If so, please let me know which ones. Also, does it make me more desirable as an employee?

p.s. I'm not interested if I have to relocate to California, Florida, or New York City.

 

[john250]

5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

Penile-Cranial inversion is the bigger problem around here.

 

[backhoeboogie]

5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

Penile-Cranial inversion is the bigger problem around here.

She is a ' BREASTED AMERICAN' might be a little moreso politically incorrect for some too. Leastwise it doesn't apply wholeheartedly to all of them.

 

[TexasBred]

Funny stuff, but I have a few questions.

If I'm an Appalachian-American, does that make me a minority? Does it make me more qualified for social/welfare programs? If so, please let me know which ones. Also, does it make me more desirable as an employee?

p.s. I'm not interested if I have to relocate to California, Florida, or New York City.

dyates...go down to Human Resources and check it out. You may be surprised what you qualify for. Then if you could be declared "illegal" you could double dip the system. Heck you might be able to double the size of your herd and be exempt from everything. Not to mention a "moving allowance". :lol: :lol:

 

[Crowderfarms]

We're sophisticated Hillbillies. We prefer to be called Hill-Williams.

 

[msscamp]

5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

Penile-Cranial inversion is the bigger problem around here.

I do believe I'm safe in saying that this particular problem is not an isolated problem solely restricted to your area. On the other hand, the possibility exists that I could have misunderstood your intent. :lol:

 

[Red Bull Breeder]

Dun we have been discriminated aginist us ozark hillbillys didn't get included.

 

[Lammie]

We're sophisticated Hillbillies. We prefer to be called Hill-Williams.

Okay, thanks for the first laugh of the day. I feel better now.

 

[Lammie]

5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

Penile-Cranial inversion is the bigger problem around here.

I know him! His name is Richard, is it not?

 

[TexasBred]

5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

Penile-Cranial inversion is the bigger problem around here.

I know him! His name is Richard, is it not?

On occasion you're absolutely right.. :lol:

 

[iowafarmer]

O thats very funny stuff but on a seriouse note im sick of political correctness and not stepping on anyones toes its a free country i can say what i want and itsa free country in other words if you dont like what i say you can leave casue im not making you listen to me. I like the one on the blonde and how the light haired detour of the information highway. There isnt a blonde out there that is going to understand that let alone get it. Im dark blondish sandy so i coudl kind of wrap my haed around it but it took me a ltitle while.

 

[Lammie]

Both of my sons are blondies, (I don't know where they got that...), and they love blonde jokes. My older son was the source of all my blondie jokes.

 

[Jogeephus]

My X doesn't like to be caught in a lie much less be called a liar - now I just refer to her as UNBELIEVABLE. She is blonde and doesn't mind this at all. I think she is happy I finally see things from her point of view that she is God's gift to mankind. Only one problem, if she were, I'm pretty sure all men would be monks - or at least I know I would. ;-) :lol2: :lol2:

 

[Lammie]

My X doesn't like to be caught in a lie much less be called a liar - now I just refer to her as UNBELIEVABLE. She is blonde and doesn't mind this at all. I think she is happy I finally see things from her point of view that she is God's gift to mankind. Only one problem, if she were, I'm pretty sure all men would be monks - or at least I know I would. ;-) :lol2: :lol2:

You mean monk or eunuch? :help: :lol:

 

[cfpinz]

5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'

Penile-Cranial inversion is the bigger problem around here.

I know him! His name is Richard, is it not?

I resemble that remark....