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Coffee Shop
POLICE QUOTES
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<blockquote data-quote="Tommy Ruyle" data-source="post: 203471" data-attributes="member: 1448"><p>The following "sound bites" were taken off actual police car videos around the country. There are some pretty funny policemen out there!</p><p></p><p>14) . "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."</p><p></p><p>13) . "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."</p><p></p><p>12) . "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."</p><p></p><p>11) . "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"</p><p></p><p>10) . "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh ... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"</p><p></p><p>9) . "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."</p><p></p><p>8) . "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"</p><p></p><p>7) . "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey crap."</p><p></p><p>6) . "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."</p><p></p><p>5) . "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."</p><p></p><p>4) . "Just how big were those two beers?"</p><p></p><p>3) . "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."</p><p></p><p>2) . "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."</p><p></p><p></p><p>And the best one . . . . .</p><p></p><p></p><p>1) . "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here." :shock:</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tommy Ruyle, post: 203471, member: 1448"] The following "sound bites" were taken off actual police car videos around the country. There are some pretty funny policemen out there! 14) . "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." 13) . "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." 12) . "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun." 11) . "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?" 10) . "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh ... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?" 9) . "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket." 8) . "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?" 7) . "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey crap." 6) . "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven." 5) . "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC." 4) . "Just how big were those two beers?" 3) . "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want." 2) . "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail." And the best one . . . . . 1) . "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here." :shock: [/QUOTE]
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