TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
> >
> > An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to
> > report that her car has been broken into. She is
> > hysterical as she explains her situation to the
> > dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering
> > wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she
> > cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is
> > on the way" A few minutes later, the officer radios
> > in. "Disregard.", He says. "She got in the back-seat
> > by mistake."
> >
> >
> > Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house
> > together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She
> > puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other
> > sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94
> > year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and
> > see." She starts up the stairs and pauses. "Was I
> > going up the stairs or down?" The 92 year old is
> > sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to
> > her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure
> > hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood." She
> > then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon
> > as I see who's at the door."
> >
> >
> > Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing
> > golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other,
> > "Windy, isn't it?" "No," the second man replied, "it's
> > Thursday." And the third man chimed in, "So am I.
> > Let's have a beer."
> >
> >
> >
> > A little old lady was running up and down the halls in
> > a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the
> > hem of her nightgown and say, "Supersex." She walked
> > up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her
> > gown at him, she said, "Supersex." He sat silently for
> > a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the
> > soup."
> >
> >
> > Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.
> > Over the years, they had shared all kinds of
> > activities and adventures. Lately, their activities
> > had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play
> > cards. One day, they were playing cards when one
> > looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me
> > . I know we've been friends for a long time, but I
> > just can't think of your name! I've thought and
> > thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what
> > your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least
> > three minutes she just stared and glared at her.
> > Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
> >
> >
> > As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his
> > car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice
> > urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the
> > news that there's a car going the wrong way on
> > Interstate 77. Please be careful!" "Well," said
> > Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of
> > them!"
> >
> > An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to
> > report that her car has been broken into. She is
> > hysterical as she explains her situation to the
> > dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering
> > wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she
> > cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is
> > on the way" A few minutes later, the officer radios
> > in. "Disregard.", He says. "She got in the back-seat
> > by mistake."
> >
> >
> > Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house
> > together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She
> > puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other
> > sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94
> > year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and
> > see." She starts up the stairs and pauses. "Was I
> > going up the stairs or down?" The 92 year old is
> > sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to
> > her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure
> > hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood." She
> > then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon
> > as I see who's at the door."
> >
> >
> > Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing
> > golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other,
> > "Windy, isn't it?" "No," the second man replied, "it's
> > Thursday." And the third man chimed in, "So am I.
> > Let's have a beer."
> >
> >
> >
> > A little old lady was running up and down the halls in
> > a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the
> > hem of her nightgown and say, "Supersex." She walked
> > up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her
> > gown at him, she said, "Supersex." He sat silently for
> > a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the
> > soup."
> >
> >
> > Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.
> > Over the years, they had shared all kinds of
> > activities and adventures. Lately, their activities
> > had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play
> > cards. One day, they were playing cards when one
> > looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me
> > . I know we've been friends for a long time, but I
> > just can't think of your name! I've thought and
> > thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what
> > your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least
> > three minutes she just stared and glared at her.
> > Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
> >
> >
> > As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his
> > car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice
> > urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the
> > news that there's a car going the wrong way on
> > Interstate 77. Please be careful!" "Well," said
> > Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of
> > them!"
