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<blockquote data-quote="lavacarancher" data-source="post: 645567" data-attributes="member: 9198"><p>This is an old one but I got reaquainted with it this morning. Enjoy.</p><p></p><p>Enjoy!</p><p>> </p><p>> </p><p>> </p><p>> Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog</p><p>chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line</p><p>when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.</p><p>> </p><p>> What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I</p><p>didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming </p><p>out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.</p><p>> </p><p>> I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with</p><p>> Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now</p><p>> enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Iris Setter's a$$ and a car hit us both.</p><p>> </p><p>> I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.</p><p>> </p><p>> Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. </p><p>> Forward this to all your retired friends .....it will be their Laugh for the Day!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lavacarancher, post: 645567, member: 9198"] This is an old one but I got reaquainted with it this morning. Enjoy. Enjoy! > > > > Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog. > > What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. > > I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with > Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now > enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Iris Setter's a$$ and a car hit us both. > > I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore. > > Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. > Forward this to all your retired friends .....it will be their Laugh for the Day! [/QUOTE]
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