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Non-Cattle Specific Topics
Coffee Shop
Men Strike Back!
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<blockquote data-quote="MrGale" data-source="post: 284617" data-attributes="member: 4568"><p>Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day........ </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p></p><p>//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>My tire was thumping. </p><p>I thought it was flat </p><p></p><p>When I looked at the tire.. </p><p></p><p>I noticed your cat. </p><p></p><p>Sorry! </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p></p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p> Heard your wife left you, </p><p>How upset you must be. </p><p></p><p>But don't fret about it... </p><p></p><p>She moved in with me. </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>Looking back over the years </p><p></p><p>that we've been together, </p><p></p><p>I can't help but wonder.. </p><p></p><p>"What the hell was I thinking?" </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>Congratulations on your wedding day! </p><p></p><p>Too bad no one likes your husband. </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>How could two people as beautiful as you </p><p></p><p>Have such an ugly baby? </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>I've always wanted to have </p><p>someone to hold, </p><p></p><p>someone to love. </p><p></p><p>After having met you .. </p><p></p><p>I've changed my mind. </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>-------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------- </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>I must admit, you brought Religion into my life. </p><p></p><p>I never believed in Hell until I met you. </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p> ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... </p><p></p><p>That you're not here to ruin it for me. </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p> #################################################### </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>Congratulations on your promotion. </p><p>Before you go... </p><p></p><p>Would you like to take this knife out of my back? </p><p></p><p>You'll probably need it again. </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>******************************************************************************** </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! </p><p></p><p>(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia) </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>Happy birthday! You look great for your age. </p><p></p><p>Almost Lifelike! </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>When we were together, </p><p>you always said you'd die for me. </p><p></p><p>Now that we've broken up, </p><p></p><p>I think it's time you kept your promise.</p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p> ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>We have been friends for a very long time .. </p><p></p><p>let's say we stop? </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>I'm so miserable without you </p><p></p><p>it's almost like you're here. </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>===================================================== </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. </p><p></p><p>Did you ever find out who the father was? </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p> %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>Your friends and I wanted to do </p><p></p><p>something special for your birthday. </p><p></p><p>So we're having you put to sleep. </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))</p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p>So your daughter's a hooker, </p><p>and it spoiled your day. </p><p></p><p>Look at the bright side, </p><p></p><p>it's really good pay</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="MrGale, post: 284617, member: 4568"] Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day........ //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat When I looked at the tire.. I noticed your cat. Sorry! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Heard your wife left you, How upset you must be. But don't fret about it... She moved in with me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder.. "What the hell was I thinking?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your husband. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ How could two people as beautiful as you Have such an ugly baby? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you .. I've changed my mind. -------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------- I must admit, you brought Religion into my life. I never believed in Hell until I met you. ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... That you're not here to ruin it for me. #################################################### Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go... Would you like to take this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again. ******************************************************************************** Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! (Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Happy birthday! You look great for your age. Almost Lifelike! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise. ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// We have been friends for a very long time .. let's say we stop? +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ I'm so miserable without you it's almost like you're here. ===================================================== Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was? %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday. So we're having you put to sleep. )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day. Look at the bright side, it's really good pay [/QUOTE]
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